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  Mar 15 Pragya Ranjan
Nae Ayson
(I'm trying to outrun the rain)
(It's so humid.)
It's like the sky is trying to hold something back
and now she's starting to cry.

(Realized how much I missed walking at night.)

She waits until half the world's asleep.
The sky?
And then confides to the earth
Because everyone is fearless in the night.

But they're gentle loving tears,
and the earth catches her.
There is no daylight to mar the distance between them with shadows.

She's not mad.
And quietly, she tells the earth her secrets--
all that she has seen when the sun was by her.
and the earth listens.
intently.
thoughtfully.

Doesn't the earth whisper back?
Doesn't it have its own secrets to share?

No.
but that was always enough.
the sky never needed an answer,
she just needed the clouds to part.
because somehow the sky always knows.
like a sister never needing words.
she cries tears not hers alone.
she mourns for the earth who can never cry.

The sky and the earth have never really been apart,
have they?
But the night is theirs
and theirs alone,
its silence unbroken
by the noise of human minds.
And the few people who walk the night let them.

no, they never were.
nor were they ever together.
what would the sky be if she was the earth?
or the earth the sky?
they were inseparable
and yet
always separate.

infinities between them.
and in each infinity
are the worlds of dreaming children
and for a moment, she stops crying.

and in the silence,
a child continues walking.

Do they have to be the same?
Can they not leave a gap between them
and still stay together?

the child is not alone,
and never was.
he is joined by many others who
walk the night
with him.
some
with open eyes,
others
breathing in rhythm.
and in the boundlessness between the earth and the sky,
they are all connected.

The child does not walk in silence.
He knows the night,
has seen all its faces
of terror
and beauty
and torment
and dreams.

dreams that each the sky has seen.

With the earth and the sky's secrets
woven into each:
a present for a friend.

the sky has ceased crying.
and in the wake,
her tears flow into the heart of the earth.
and the earth collects them,
that the sky may weep them out again.

Then the earth is not silent after all.

quiet, but not silent.

the child thirsts
and finds the tears the sky has wept.
but they are too bitter for him to drink.

They were never meant for him,
The sky carries far greater burdens
than any earthling can bear,
secrets far too powerful for his mind to comprehend.
Not yet, anyway.

silence

and in it
the earth sings to the sky.
the earth [sings] for the earth cannot speak.
and the sky wells up in the beauty of the song.

And the child sits in between them,
absorbing the music.
Selah
Let the universe pause a moment.
Let it breathe.

for a time will be reached
when the child shall share in the cup
of sky's tears.
he too,
shall have no more questions.
but until then,
the child walks.

And until then,
he is a child.

The child walks into a neighborhood of lights.
with hues too numerous
for him to name or even distinguish,
each one desperately tries to outshine his brother.
and the lights see him
and greet him--
an unwelcome visitor.

How so?

for under the lights
are other children:
blinded but seeing,
they have sight with much illumination,
but are lost without a vision.
the child walks among them
but they don't see him,
for he is not their own.
the lights captivate
and held captive
they were.
the child calls out to them
but they cannot hear.

for these are children
who listen with their eyes
and feel with their tongue.
each follows a different light--
the ones that have so rejected the child.
but it changes nothing
for the child
follows a different light,
the light the sky has shown hi,.

They are trapped
in the pretense of day,
in the false promise that everything is within their sight.
And they
somehow
believe
that all they see is theirs.
They know not how to travel in the shadows,
because they
have never befriended the night.

they have never seen
the weeping of the sky, nor
heard the singing of the earth.

It is in the night
that one learns to listen,
to eavesdrop
on the secrets
the sky and the earth
whisper
as the universe sleeps.
Though not without their notice.

they whisper loud enough for those who want to hear.

And for those who have earned their respect.
Some drag them
into the scorching gaze of sunlight,
and cast shadows
large enough
strong enough
to swallow hearts whole.

(Say hello to the night for me. I missed its embrace.)
(the night waits still)
Here's to the few sabaw midnight conversations we have stashed away in places other than our memories.

"So when was the last time you tried something you knew you'd probably regret but did it anyway?
wanderlust + caffeine. bad combination."
You might, but I don't.
I might regret posting this one, though. Sorry not sorry for sharing your art, your heart. Sorry for not asking you beforehand. I know the title doesn't do it justice.

(Your name shouldn't be a footnote, but I don't know if I'd leave it up there. So here: Help, God is my judge. Dreamer. Visionary.)
  Dec 2023 Pragya Ranjan
Michael L
Your lips move slowly,
yet, in this moment
there is silence.
Your warm breath
caresses my face.

And with anticipation
I don't need words.
Everything you need to say
is whispered in your thoughts  
and echoed by your fingertips.

Your touch is thunderous,
resounding deep within us  
penetrating all my defenses,
filling that space between us.
In these moments I submit.

Powerless to resist this passion.
Ecstasy and lightning entwined,
flashes of lust and love
spark from skin to skin,
as the silent storm surges over us.

Briefly the world is muted.
Only you and I exist, fully exposed.
Vulnerable, we surrender completely,
trusting this silence to satisfy
our unquenchable appetite.
Thanks Elizabeth J for allowing me to collaborate with you on this poem. It was my pleasure!
  Nov 2023 Pragya Ranjan
Rose
Greater than signs
really do grow into alligators
and feast on their prey.
Telling my Algebra II teacher this
won’t get me out of doing my assignment.
I swear,
they change every time she turns away.
I attempt to keep my eyes down
as I’m avoiding scaly beasts and impossible math problems
and instead fix my eyes on the clock.
It is even more complex than complex conjugates.
Every second is assigned to each minute
and I’m assigned to do problem number one on the board.
The seconds travel down the spiral staircase
taking two, maybe three steps at a time.
Take a step back and countdown from ten
But that doesn’t stop each second from dwindling down.
Sometimes years even jump the entire staircase.
Irrational numbers, decimals and pauses
in the beeps of the machine,
Long division, long sigh.
Then the scatter-plot line graph exponentially decreases
And goes flat.  
Feet tapping to unknown time signatures in the waiting room,
One tear making its way down my cheek.
Plus another.
seventy thoughts  per second
but you were going eighty
when your face subtracted the dotted line
from the interstate.
Now I bury the remainders.
I tried to count everything but was disappointed
to know that I can’t count even a fraction of anything.
Blame it on my dead calculator,
erase my incorrect, hard work
and start over.
“Will someone help her with problem number one?”
They sigh,
their annoyance multiplies.
This is why I got a C in Algebra II.
  Nov 2023 Pragya Ranjan
Rose
Smoke my life away
Each cigarette in the ashtray
Just taking off another day
And I pray
For rain
But these fires still remain
Just another day
Until I reach my fate
A day much too late
Slowly I decay
So I'll smoke another,
If I may
I have no shame
Death is inevitable, anyway
I'll be just the same as these ashes
As in the grave
I'm afraid I'll write this all too fast because of how eager and nervous I am in this moment.

Because you are a million miles away it seems, but all I have to do is say your name and suddenly you are...here.

I never knew how much I needed you until I spent months hearing from you, but never hearing you talk to me face to face.

But my dear, I long for the nights where I will receive an out-of-context text from you at 2 am only because of the timezone difference.

My hands sweating for no real reason.

I guess I really am trying to tell you I love you.

But I'm always to cutesy about it.

Always saying "love ya!" in a text, but I want to say it as though it means so much that the universe will get my words straight to you.

I've never loved anyone more than I love music or God, but I want to come close to that sometime soon.

I don't need a single day to go by without you knowing that you are so beautiful.

And people love it so much they almost hate it.

It is that genuine.

I'm sorry I can't always think of you and remember that I am also a living, breathing person.

I forget myself far too often in the presence of so many good people.

Or I guess...

People who are too good to have me in their life sometimes.

You're probably asleep right now.
Now who's up at 2am?

Ahaa....

I'll just be here.


I love you too much to wake you up.

So just sleep a while.

I'll see you soon.

Or at least I hope so.

Oh!

I almost forgot to say this...

In case you forgot.

I love you.
sleep a while.
6 months you say.

That’s how long you’ll be away. You leave today actually, maybe in the next 6 or 7 hours. You’ll be saying goodbye to your family and your home and I will be here.

I haven’t seen you since last Sunday’s church service and I think I won’t see you until these months are over.

To tell you the truth Baer, I’m scared of being by myself for that long. Most days you’re the sister I met too late, and I do and don’t wish we met sooner, but as for right now that’s not a big deal.

So I’ll count the hours in 6 months. 4380 of them to be exact.

I’ll get through how I can, if I can.

You remember what you said to me before I left the church that morning?

“Call me, text me, I’ll make time for you.”

It still seems funny that you’ll make time for me like I’m incredibly important or something.

I still haven’t even texted you. Part of me believes you’re too busy for me to barge in.

But I will wait out these hours. That’s something I can do.

Before you go...

I just thought you should know... you know..

I love you always. Come home safe.
I’ve got about 4326 hours to go.
I just saw a bunch of pictures of people who I used to be friends with.

And I forgot how beautiful they all looked when they smiled.

It's been 9 months and counting.

And they still smile without me.
Say cheese.
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