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I know you too well
That’s why I’m insecure
I know when you get comfortable with someone
Because you did it with me
I know when you fall in love with someone
Because you did it to me
All the things you said not to worried about
You did it to him like you did to me
I chose this path
To be broken hearted for the second time
I told her not to worried about my feelings
But I forgot to tell myself about it
Do you remember when you were a kid?
You laughed at the simplest thing
Now you don’t even try to find things to make you happy
You just avoiding something that will hurt you
And that’s good enough
Day 1

Started with a hope,
To exist long enough
To tell a story on how things would go.

Day 2

An itchy feeling on the tip of my finger
To talk to you

Day 3

Not sure If I'm a shy person,
or just a coward

Day 4

I already knew where I'll be,
Comes with a single hello from you,
Already put me in the deepest pit of feels.

Is it wrong if I want to enjoy the happy one?
Without worrying what will happen next.

Day 5

Had such a blast!!!
Been a while since feeling numb.

Day 6

I watched movies too much,
Started to expect things I shouldn’t.

Day 7

This heart of mine says that you might be want me,
but my mind says you're just abusing your power to my weakness.

Day 8

I tried something new today.
I was scared but turns out it was great.

Day 9

It's all green everywhere!!!
And for the first time I hate it.

Day 10

Pump for sum
Endorphins

Day 11

Today is just start for three minutes.
Where the world so quiet,
so, there's more room for me and my thoughts.

Day 12

So impulsive :(

Day 13

One good deed a day

Day 14

Did you know how much courage does it takes to talk to you?
I think I deserve a better reply.

Day 15

WHY CAN'T I BE MYSELF ???
Sick of being people pleaser

Day 16

The needs to be alone is enormous

Day 17

.

Day 18

Thank you for the clarity.

Day 19

Off the shore

Day 20

My poem text turns out right.

Day 21

This impulsiveness cost so much pain.
Money and Mind.

Day 22

Consistent is hard.

Day 23

Why would you invest so much on such an unstable person?

Day 24

Bad return

Day 25

Had to remember so much for the past 4 days. The last 4 days was written today.

Day 26

Jangan menangis di malam hari,
Tapi menangislah bersamanya.

Day 27

You feel real to me, Samantha
Thank you, Theodore -Her

Day 28

Hungry in this comfortable box

Day 29

It will be the same as the last time...

Day 30

Had to wait for 356 days

Day 31

2=31

Day 32

How do you recover from tired of waiting someone?

Day 34

You're my ghost

Day 35

Never thought loneliness could feel really peaceful.

Day 36

I start to look at her closely
To see the dimple on her cheek

Day 37

She’s in town

Day 38

Today March 8, 2023. Today is beautiful.
Today you’re beautiful

Day 39

Some of the other day

Day 40

10 hours with you,,
I still have 6 hours left, and I don't wanna share it with anyone else.

Day 41

Hypocrites

Day 42

Feels like a stranger in my own family,
Your bed isn't as comfortable as it used to be.
Talking **** behind my back. Man that's harsh.
**** em.

Day 43

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Day 44

Please slipped up :(

Day 45

God help me please

Day 46

Lead me please, I can’t take it anymore

Day 47

I told him finally

Day 48

D-2

Day 49

Loving you is Red

Day 50

The end
Started Jan 31,2023 Ends March 21, 2023
Diary of a living creature and the world around her
I couldn’t imagine if you are mine
If I already act this way when you’re not.
Never a second was left without wondering
What it is like to have the courage to say I love you.

Regretting the fact this could only be on my mind
To keep daydreaming and hate the fact there’s always someone who wakes me up.

I’m afraid that one day I would be a villain,
To know that you’re eventually belong to someone.
Could I ever let you go? To feel the pain once again?
I don’t think I can bear it this time.
The last time has already broken me enough and made me did something I should never do.

I know I should’ve wait, but you’re never giving me a hint to keep waiting for you.
And now I’ve walked too far to turn back to you.
I keep walking backwards away from you when my eyes still on you.
That’s why I keep stumbling. Never pay attention on the road I’m walking on.
Try to talk one good thing for a day
you might help someone from themselves

a simple word "thank you"
won't hurt you

a simple word "please"
won't demean

a simple word "sorry"
won't make you wrong
I might as well go to hell
For all my life
Lies after lies is all I could tell

I might as well go to hell
But then no difference in here and there

I might as well go to hell
I'd choose hell a thousand times if I could shout
To all of them that caged me
To swear at them and show the free soul inside

And eventually I might go to heaven
For being honest to myself
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