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329 · May 2016
Addicted
Axle Avatari May 2016
My heart was
Addicted to you
You were my
Drug of choice
But my head told me
You were
An illusion
Not a real thing
I absently minded
Rub the scars
You left
On my heart
Feeling again
How much they hurt
Remembering
How they got there
How you carved your words
Through
The bark of my heart
Into the living part of me
I have to believe
You were
A phantom lover
To believe you were
Real
Would hurt
So much more
My heart is addicted to you
I have to quit you
Wondering if
I ever will
Need a 12 step program
For lost loves
Admitting I have
No control over
Loving you
Knowing
I can never have you again
It was too good
Not to hurt
326 · May 2016
GODDESS OF THE MOON
Axle Avatari May 2016
Her love is like the Moon.
Shinning brightly down on the surface of my soul.

Glowing beautifully in the sky of my heart.

Moving smoothly across the heavens of my thoughts.

She circles me with hope.

Shades me with light,
In my darkest hour.

She moves the tides of my love,
With her presence.

She follows me.
She guides me.
On a path that is true.
322 · Apr 2016
THOUGHTS ARE STRANGE
Axle Avatari Apr 2016
Angels possess me.
Demons ****** me.
An' what's even worse,
Is it just might be,
Visa verse.

The past haunts me.
The future daunts me.
I guess, in the present tense,
I'm just too hesitant.

The T.V. News don't really tell me much,
In half a breath.
But it still scares me nearly half to death.
It just might be an' overreaction,
Of my big imagination.
I guess I read too much between the lines,
Just puttin' too many thoughts,
In other people's minds.

I see visions of Glory tell.
An' I see visions of gory Hell.
I see black.
I see white.
But what scares me most,
Is what I see at night.
I dream of wonderful things.
But some of my nightmares,
Would make you scream.
I listen to the silence,
An' try not to hear the violence,
Goin' on all around me.
The dead aren't always buried underground,
You see.
304 · Apr 2016
DENIAL OF LOVE
Axle Avatari Apr 2016
Cupid's bow twangs,
Broken arrows,
On my heart.
Lovely little sparrows,
Ripped apart.

I am dying.
But have no fear.
I am crying.
But shed not a tear.
I am trying.
But it's not too clear.
I am lying.
When I look in the mirror.

Death rides my soul.
Look into my eyes,
See an empty whole.
See the pain,
The fear,
The anger,
The hate.
See the strain,
From having to wait.

I deny love.
Keep it locked inside.
I defy love.
Feelings to hide.

Buried deep,
Within my being,
Notice the turmoil,
The blind are seeing.
Listen to the screams,
The deaf are hearing.
Feel the heat,
And the cold is searing.

Deep within me,
A fire burns,
Hot an' bright.
But I'm so cold,
In the midst of the night.
I breath.
So I must be alive.
But baby,
I need a breath of life.
Heal my wounds.
Pull out the knife.

I deny love.
Keep it locked inside.
I defy love.
Feelings to hide.
A poem from my youth.
283 · Apr 2016
FLOOD OF TEARS
Axle Avatari Apr 2016
Tears bleed through eyes clenched shut.
Face frozen in quiet anguish but
Shower washing away tears, not the shame.
The one you loved is the one to blame.

Memories flooding back to haunt again.
Tears don't stop falling down the drain.
Heart broken, one more time.
Still here, at the scene of the crime.

Hurt for years, feel the pain today.
All at once, a debt I have to pay.
No where to hide from internal agony.
No where to go but inside of me.

Face the day as best I can.
Plastic smile hides nothing.
My eyes tell the truth, if you dare to see.
The pain buried deep inside of me.
10/27/15

— The End —