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  Feb 2015 Zabada Zipporah
spacequeen
I thought I could brace myself from the impact.
Just in case things went in a direction I didn't want them to.

But alas, 'let's just be friends' hurt harder than getting hit by a truck.

The funny thing is, I had a feeling about it.
One of those...
It seems too good to be true, so it probably is.
**** me.

I feel like an idiot.

And as my friends kiss my newly bleeding wounds...
They tell me this is an experience not a mistake.

Even though I feel like this is a repeat cycle of mistakes.
I always seem to think 'okay this one is different I am certain.'

Only to figure out that I was completely wrong.

I leap into things....
This I know.

But when I love...
I love hard.

And I guess I crash just as hard when it all falls down.

I continue to wonder if I have learned my lesson...
But I don't think I have.

Because I keep repeating things.

I like to think I can spot red flags instantly...
But this one...
This one tricked me pretty well.
Zabada Zipporah Feb 2015
so, so far away from home.
with no love, but im with you.
so what does this fake love mean?
or hiding behind lies do for you?
because its tearing insides,
and crashing righteous minds
in my eyes
in my eyes
crust lingers - I dare to say I cry a tear
for something that was never really there
but you are here right?
IT WASNT FAKE LOVE FOR ME
I did love, how I never had loved
it may have been ****** up love
shared love, broken love.
but how I can I give you all my love
when my heart is in pieces....
left with lost lovers, and left family members.
I left to be with you.
I left to be with you.
everything to once know in life
is learned again in this new space
but i'd do it for you..
no you say it is for me
to better me
to save me,
how do you save when you cant love?
tell me because I walk through
the mist and fog of fear
blinded by my own weakness.
why did your hand not lead the way?
*******
*******
in my mind i'd only say it
yea I hate you,
but that's just words
spilling from the mouth
I love you
I love you
From A Distance
feeling really...idk
Zabada Zipporah Feb 2015
..
her heart is crying all the time...
dark as the insides of love.
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