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175 · Jun 2019
before dawn comes
yv Jun 2019
At night when I lay on bed
I find myself praying to God
to help me help myself

At night, before I close my eyes
I played music, it filled my ears
it blocked out all the dark thoughts

At night, when it was cold
and I had no one to hold
I cried myself to sleep

As well as the night after that
and the night after that
and the night after  that;
it never stops;
173 · Jul 2019
Don't bother going out
yv Jul 2019
Always stuck in between,
between being a kid
        and growing up
between being grateful
        and wanting more

I'm always stuck in between,
        but somehow never stuck
        in your heart, your mind
                                  your soul

You were always stuck in mine
Whether you wanted to or not
172 · Mar 2019
Insignificantly
yv Mar 2019
I feel so small
In this big world
Full of amazing people
171 · Jun 2019
on a loop
yv Jun 2019
Here we go again
Trying to stop tears falling
Just smile once again
163 · Jul 2018
I suppose
yv Jul 2018
Love - has lost its meaning
          - is a word spoken too much and taken too lightly
          - is mistaken for lust
          - is what many want but cannot have
          - can be painful too
          - is said to have no rules but is criticized by everyone
          - could have been so simple if you lowered your pride
          - is what our world needs but is slowly losing
          - was not supposed to seem so ugly
          - should be revived again
sometimes we just make things complicated on our own
162 · Jun 2019
Assurance
yv Jun 2019
Can you still love me when I am a mess? When my tears start to fall and all else goes wrong?

Can you still love me when I fail? When the whole world is going against me?

Can you still love me when you see me, the real me? When you realize that I have a **** ton of heavy baggage?

Will you still love me when I can't even love myself?
160 · Nov 2018
In time
yv Nov 2018
there are days when i'm tired
too tired to comfort you,
when you're sad or mad
when you're lonely or lost

i'm sorry, for not being there
for not being your shoulder to cry on
someone for you to lean on
i'm just tired

just not at days like this
at days when i'm barely
able to pull myself together,
what more if you lean on me?

i won't let us crumble
and fall down together,
let it be just me
don't drown with me

i hope that you'll be okay
until i piece together my broken pieces
until then just wait for me
i'll be your shoulder to lean on
for now all i can say is sorry for not being there for you
154 · Jul 2018
And yet he had stayed
yv Jul 2018
He had fallen in love with a broken girl
in hopes of fixing her, he had stayed.

Never had he thought he'd end up getting broken too.
Who would love a broken girl?
Who could fix a broken girl?

Despite this he had stayed
not so he could fix her but because he would be with her
when she loves herself and picks up her broken pieces.

And she would do the same, for him.
153 · Jun 2019
You and I
yv Jun 2019
You. You are a ray of sunshine
Mine. My source of happiness
We. I thought we were happy

You. You were that guy I never had
Mine. Maybe it was my fault
We. We just weren't meant to be

You. It was always you and you again
Mine. I'll never be able to call you mine
We. We cannot be, you and I, missed our chance
150 · Jan 2021
Dear Mister Grim Reaper
yv Jan 2021
Death is not creeping up to me
I am running straight to it
Just a tiny spec in the universe
Forgotten only after it blossomed

My hands are losing its grip
I am bound to let go anyway
This slowly fading presence
Insignificant in the eyes of others

There is no fight left in me
Let it be if the world rejects me
Karma is only giving what is due
And I am in no place to reject it

The feeling of pain is gone now
Here there is only nothingness
I feel so light, without worries
I am undeserving but will go in peace

All I need is to be forgotten
I don't need to be six feet under
Nor ashes to be scattered at sea
For at last I can rest from this lifetime
150 · Oct 2018
She was once a Writer
yv Oct 2018
She writes letters to the dead
She writes letters to her friends
She writes letters that has never been read.

She pours out her heart
In every word written by her pen in hand.
She loves to write, but she's not that good at it.

She writes poetry
Atleast that's what she calls it.

Her poetry has been read.
And she thought - wow
How amazing it felt.

She writes poetry
In a way so that she can escape.
She writes,
only until all her problems caught up to her
She stopped.
148 · Jul 2019
if it's not too much,
yv Jul 2019
can I rest my head
on your shoulder
and fall asleep
in your arms
my dear?
I just want cuddles in this rainy season
148 · Aug 2019
h i s e y e s
yv Aug 2019
I found something
wilst looking in your eyes,
a reflection of myself
looking happy

Made me think
"I finally found my home,
where I belong"

At long last
148 · Mar 2020
Life in quarantine
yv Mar 2020
We're all acting fine
until you're lying in bed
The lights are out

you give yourself break
There's no one's there
to see you anyway

A blanket over your head
a pillow hugged to your chest
As the years start to fall

A hand put to muffle the sobs
Until sleep takes over you
those years dry themselves

You wake up to tommorow
only to wait till night comes
And cry yourself to sleep again
Quarantine ain't doing me any good
146 · Jun 2019
from words to dust
yv Jun 2019
You keep throwing
words in the

a i r

and I keep blocking them out

these worthless words of yours
It won't bring me down

wait and see
the power of your words
It'll weigh you              instead
            down

burn you to the ground
only until ashes remain
wait and see
145 · Oct 2018
If you ever read this
yv Oct 2018
It wasn't that I never loved you
It was just that I loved you too much
that I had to let you go.

but you don't really have to know that.
145 · Oct 2018
Age
yv Oct 2018
Age
Life is not about
how long you have lived
it's about how well you have lived
even for a short period of time,
and that's how anyone can be young.
yv Jun 2019
I am empty,
Trying to squeeze out words
To make a poem that is loved
At the same time hated

A poem that is loved
Because of its familiar sound
A poem that is hated
Because of the reality it portrays

I am empty,
Empty of love
Trying to fill up my heart
Only ending up void again

Again. Here we go again
This feeling of emptiness
Never quite sure
Of one's own emotions

Stranger. Who are you?
It's as if they were strangers
Not knowing what she loves
What she hates,  what she wants

She is her own stranger,
A different person each day
And each day again
That stranger felt empty
143 · Jun 2019
Post-Love
yv Jun 2019
I find myself calling out your name
It sounded like something close to pain
These memories keep coming back
I find myself smiling because of them

The happiness was only short lived
I find myself being tortured
Things that made me smile back then
Only seems to make me grunge in pain

I found myself some place dark
It seems endless and futile to run
I let the darkness comfort me
I let it wipe the tears you caused
143 · Jun 2019
Do we even love?
yv Jun 2019
The words I love you
Were said too much
It lost its meaning
143 · Jun 2019
Just like me
yv Jun 2019
Somewhere,
      the rain falls
      oh the rain
      can't help falling
      into the sea
      going back home
      to where it belongs

Somehow,
      I'm just like
      the rain
      can't help falling
      back in your arms
      to where I belong
142 · Jul 2018
Paradox
yv Jul 2018
As the clock keeps ticking
we remain stuck in a time we created - an illusion
not knowing how much time we're really wasting
hoping and hoping
wishing to turn back time and change history.

We didn't want to acknowledge the fact that what has been done can't be changed no more
and we ended up stuck trying to go back in time
while the wind just keeps passing by, with us left behind.
we cannot keep living in the past
141 · Jan 2020
23:12
yv Jan 2020
I missed my chance
To make a wish
It's this time of the day
I find my head
Swarmed with thoughts
But I find no one
To share these to
So all I do
Is to write instead
yv Jul 2019
I hate having to beg for attention
But I'm scared of not getting any

I hate that I have to beg for your time
But I have no choice, you're my life line

I hate this feeling of loving alone
But that's how much I love you

So I'll still beg for it anyway
No matter how long it takes
Even if my bones will break
137 · Oct 2019
Not there for me
yv Oct 2019
Just when I thought
I was reaching for it
Happiness seems to be
So far away, so out of reach
135 · Jul 2019
Cuddle Season Again
yv Jul 2019
I just want to get out
for a while from reality
and into your arms
feeling your warmth

I just want a hug
in this rainy weather
a short break from it all
all I ask for is a cuddle
Away from all kinds of toxicity
134 · Oct 2018
Why do people fall in love?
yv Oct 2018
People don't just fall in love because they have nothing to do,
We fall in love not because we want to
We fall in love because we feel the need to
And yes, all people need love.
most especially, I wouldn't mind falling in love with you
yv Dec 2018
The demons come at night
And the smiles that were once bright
Fade away at once.
131 · Jul 2018
Words are fleeting
yv Jul 2018
For what reason do people make promises?
So that strings will forever be attached?
For the sake of commitment?
Or maybe promises are just for false hope
It's something we hold onto thinking it will never break
but promises could be just as fragile as our broken hearts
and could be the reason why we broke our hearts in the first place.
130 · Nov 2018
Dear mister Insecurity
yv Nov 2018
insecurities insecurities
feeding on my mind
insecurities insecurities
are my company at times.

they say that jealousy jealousy
jealously's a crime
is it really that bad
to want something to be mine?

i am breaking breaking
breaking inside
yet i'm putting up a
a facade full of lies

everyone promises promises
that it'll be alright
all that they're telling me telling me
is false hope and white lies.

it is keeping me keeping me
awake through the night
it is killing me killing me
slowly inside.

can't you see can't you see?
insecurities eating me alive.
dear mister insecurity
won't you just leave me to peacefully die?
Sincerely,
My fragile state of mind
129 · Oct 2018
Only on a whim
yv Oct 2018
I'm a song you fell in love with without planning to.
I'm a song you don't usually go for.
I'm just something new.
I'm the song you played over and over,
I'm a song you got used to.
Now there's nothing so special or new.
And I'm the song you fell out of,
the same reason you fell in.
                              - without planning to.
127 · Jun 2018
lull
yv Jun 2018
We are slowly fading from each other's world
It happens slowly, and so it goes unnoticed
but certainly not for me.

If one day you'll come to see
how irrelevantly we lost each other,
or how I lost you. Just know that -
I am and was always here.

Waiting for us to return to each others world.
to where home is - to where we belong.
127 · Jun 2019
Cried a river
yv Jun 2019
I cried at your poetry
I cried at your words
I cried at how sad it seemed
I cried at your emotions
I cried at how dark it seemed
I cried at your poetry
I cried at its duality
I cried at its beauty and harsh reality
126 · Oct 2018
Ambiance
yv Oct 2018
Sometimes all you really need
is a hot cup of coffee
and great company

oh, and music too.
126 · May 2019
Amour
yv May 2019
Why do people love in the first place?
Why do you let yourself get hurt?
In love, it isn't all about solace
You know you'd get hurt, you know it
But you still love anyways

How do you love someone?
Is there a proper way to do so?
Love does not have a guideline
It's one of the things in Earth
Where there's no right or wrong

So why keep putting boundaries?
Why prevent people from happiness?
Let them experience the ache, the pain
For them to realize, to actually realize
Just how lucky they are, to be in love

To be happy
124 · Jul 2019
Give me a bullet
yv Jul 2019
I've got to ****
My insecurities
Before it kills me
yv Jul 2019
I live in a household
where the only language they speak
is SHOUT
123 · Feb 2020
2 a.m. Rambles
yv Feb 2020
"Are you in love?"

'No, not yet.'

"When do you think you'll fall in love?"

'Come the day I'll learn to love myself.'

"When will that happen?"

'Surely not anytime soon.'

"And why is that?"
122 · Mar 2020
Treasures in the Night
yv Mar 2020
As the Stars twinkle at night
Each light comforts another
And another, and another
A dim glow from the universe

Under this breathtaking night sky
Children blending in the background
As they wait for heaven’s graces
Stars seem to have more twinkle than their eyes

As the night grew longer, and the moon rose higher
Heaven’s graces are nowhere to be found
Unlike the stars that were apparent to everyone’s eyes
They were hidden away in the darkness

A chorus of stomach growls are heard from the alleyway
They cannot wait for heaven’s graces no more
Each person passing by is as if a star in the night sky
Heaven’s grace is in such close reach

A glimmer appeared in their eyes
And other from the cold metal in their hand
Slowly they try to reach for the stars
To silence the cries of hunger in their head
122 · Nov 2018
A lousy gardener
yv Nov 2018
A plant
watered
with jealousy
will only end up
withered
and
thorny
119 · Apr 2019
Inspiration
yv Apr 2019
You made me start writing love songs again
Made me do things I don't usually do
It made my heart flutter a lot too
Made my ears go red and my cheeks too

It made me want to think that I have a chance with you
It made me feel foolish but it made me happy too
I've got this weird feeling when I'm with you
It keeps me on my toes, and my heart beats wild
Just like doodoo doo roo doo roo doodoo doo roo doo roo doo
119 · Sep 2019
In time.
yv Sep 2019
I hope that I grow
So I won't give in
To these insecurities
I hope I don't compare
So that I will learn
To finally love myself
116 · Sep 2019
You.
yv Sep 2019
home doesn't feel like home anymore
where can I find a place called home
you can call me a creep but with you
I found home
116 · Mar 2019
Obra Maestra
yv Mar 2019
In the dark room came moonlight
Gently peeking, filling it with light
Taking sight of unpleasantries
Yet somehow still beautiful

With pale skin, and brown dull eyes
Her long hair flailing around
She's painted in red with excess
dripping dripping dripping

An artwork of demons in her own head
Emotions engraving abstractions on skin
With blades as her pen
The blood colored in

The sight is intoxicating
Realing you in, it is hypnotizing
How beautifully painted in red
How void of emotions, how dead.
A masterpiece
116 · Jun 2019
How are you?
yv Jun 2019
How have you been?
Are you all right?
I look at the night sky and think of you
I listen to songs that remind me of you

Are you doing fine?
Have you eaten yet?
I passed by your favourite restaurant today
I watched the first movie we saw together

I wonder how the stars look up there
Do they look different up close?
How have you been?
Because I've been missing you since
114 · Sep 2019
O God our loving Father,
yv Sep 2019
I wonder if God thought about asking me if I wanted to be born at all like living is so ******* tiresome, please just take me to heaven or give my life to someone who actually deserves it
111 · Jun 2019
Not even a proper title
yv Jun 2019
when a poet gets over
from being depressed
there's really not much
to write about
over
111 · Jun 2018
The gift
yv Jun 2018
I felt so unloved
until you.

You taught me
how to love every
single imperfection
I have.

I don't understand how,
what seemed to be
so impossible,
to love someone like me.
But it happened,
You loved someone like me.

And it felt freaking amazing.
But what's more amazing
Is how you taught me
To
Love
Myself.
107 · Sep 2019
cry night tonight
yv Sep 2019
At the end of the day
there'll be a beautiful sunset
waiting for you

Right afterwards
the sky will be painted black
with twinkling stars for comfort

But then the clouds start to cover them
Blocking your view, and the demons
they appear again in your head

It's past midnight: early a.m
you have no idea
why you feel how you do

You just lay there alone
with vicious thoughts running around
as the tears slowly start to fall

From your cheeks to your nose
and your clothes even got wet
and you run out of breath

You try not to make a sound
because no one should know
it won't be any good for anyone

Until you fall asleep
and hope to have a good dream
but still you fail to be happy

Even in your sleep
not a hint of joy to be found
only this pounding feeling in your chest

And then you hear the alarm sounding off
As your eyes open you see darkness
The same ceiling you stared crying to sleep

It took every ounce to get out of bed
to face a new day
and be miserable inside

As the sunrise comes
we have to pretend once again
how can I stop this feeling?
I hate you @ self
107 · Oct 2018
POETRY!
yv Oct 2018
Hello? Poetry keeps me alive!
With every small interaction I make
With every poem that I read
That gives me new light in life
With every piece that I write
And every person that relates to it
With every person that gives me love
It keeps me alive!
Hello, Poetry. You are the reason why I'm alive
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