Fill my lungs with flowers
and cover my wounds
with salt.

I would much rather make a mark
in your heart,
than in
your eyes.

orange candy sweet as sunrise on an endless July night.
I couldn't forget the times made from lake craft and lager.
remember sitting on the beach till the sun rose?
remember mixing wine and coolers until we were sick?
what an awful feeling.
but I would give many things to relive it.

I began to write poems when I learned not every thought was worth sharing.
   - when I learned that nobody really cared as much as they preached.
Putting my thoughts onto paper seemed to sooth me.

I began to write poems when I learned that not every person deserves the ideas that scatter my brain, and not every person will value them either.

I began to write poems when I found you. But the thought of expressing my feelings made me nauseous beyond belief.

So I began to write poems.

healing never stops, we just find new ways to do it.
life never 'gets easy', we learn to cope.
you learn to foster and create resilience within you.
maybe that's why I have always loved the lotus flower.
a flower that grows so beautifully from the deepest and thickest mud at the bottom of a pond.
a flower that faces many obstacles before reaching the surface and blooming to its fullest potential.
it blooms in the most unusual places and can withstand thousands of years without water;
it is self sufficient.
but you'd never know it, because all you see is the finished product.
you cannot recognize nor appreciate the strength it took to reach that point because the process is unknown by many.
we're all so scared to take that initial step to heal because we don't want to admit to ourselves it's time to make change.
start in the mud, rise to the surface, and enjoy the abundance of years you will have there.
change starts with acceptance.