beautiful girls all over the world thought my time would be wasted they've got nothing on you baby, nothing on you baby


this plays over and over again in my head
just like the day you sang it to me
I wish it was real but now all I remember
is a beautiful sorrowful memory

Oh sentimental dreamer
Guard of imagination
Just load your guns
And set your determiantion

The weight of the world
Sits different on my shoulders
When my head
Is resting on your chest
My ribs beg to split open
To scream, my soft prayers
My devotion, into your ears
Somehow, when I whisper
I love you
I hope you hear me

The price you have to pay
When you are the hero who saves the day
Ride into the sunset but you ride alone
Cast out, falling heavy like a stone

You bear the weight of the world on your shoulders
Heavy pains n heavy boulders
Born through time
Walking the straight line

And I Promise

To love you to the ends of the earth
And I promise to save you from all the nightmares
To show you the love in my eyes
To keep you until I die
I will follow your heart
And I will be your blanket
I will protect you from danger
And I will be your savior
I will break all the curses
And I will make your wounds better
I am the key to the lock of the chains that bind you
I will hide you from the demons that seek to find you
To touch your hair
To protect your heart
To walk beside you and match your foot steps
I will be your bridge over troubled water
I will never lie

There is nothing I cant save you from except from myself
I am the only one who could hurt you
And that is why I am leaving
I will go to another world
With my white flag unfurled
Goodbye sweet love I must keep my promise
Goodbye darling you are the only one I will miss

I just didn't know how to convince you that you were beautiful
So I just kept telling you
Every day
As the sun shines, so do you

To endlessly travel you limbs
Trapped between gentle layers of skin

Some, when binding themselves in promises Are so devout in their hope that no bad ever come upon them
That they have no hesitation
Swearing themselves to the birds of the air
And the fools who walk among us
Cutting their hand open
Letting their blood speak red words for them
They know the bad, and the ugly are more a way of life than proverb
Such they carry their cross

Your blood
Is on the same hands
You promised rings too

I say your name
A prayer in the dark
The same way
Your mother gave it to you
Whispering it
Into your hair with pride
When you were born
She had heard God
Seed it into her stomach
I say it now with love
For I know no other way
It will carry us to the altar

It was the almost remorseful way you still held your hand around the hilt of the dagger that you stabbed into my back

And maybe the world doesn't need more souls fiery flames
But gentle candle hearts and kisses of kindness

I am not my body
But it is my house
A hundred years from now
When it is a vacant home
Will you rummage through my rubble
Sift through my fallen shingles
I fear to be plundered
As men often do
As sinners often joke
Of renting women’s bodies
Yet, they do not pay the price
I am a haunting house
I am not an open door
Will you not respect my frame
For the soul it once contained
Or is the time after I part with life
Squatters rights

Cover your mouth when you sneeze
Hold your breath and forget how to breath

You say it is a beautiful thing to know me
I say you are a beautiful thing to be known

You say I am a dream and a star
I say you are the whole sky and all she holds

You say I am an ocean and a boat
I say you taste of salt and memories

You say I am all you could imagine and more
I say you are everything I could need, every breathe I could breathe

You say I am truth and light
And it breaks my heart to know, that the lies and shadows in you only wanted to eat up all the good in me
That the gentleness of my heart was a meal to suffice for such a wretch

Still I offer it up.

Foolish and selfless as I am.

You say I am beautiful and whole
And I wish that I could believe such things
If such things were so

You say I am the whole world
And I cannot help but ask why you would need so much, and if I was that much... why am I not enough for you?

For when I ask for a grain of salt all you have to give me was sand, still I did not complain

Maybe that is how endings are born out of beginnings, you threaded lies in needles only meant for dreams
Sewed my mouth shut
Just so you could say I had seams

They reach behind me in the storm
Oil rains from the sky
The wild are set loose to rain
Bringing wrath and leashing pain

The veins on my arms tighten
Waiting for the skies to lighten
The fear is gone lost on the brave
Waiting for the victory they crave

The light at the end of the tunnel
Fire twigs and matches bundle
Duck your head and harden your heart
Do my will and do your part

The earth is uncertain of which side its on
The skies are empty and the sun is gone
The clouds tremble and they hide
Waiting for the tide

Mount your steed and say your prayers
Deep into the earth many rocky layers
The core or heart of our home
The death of many to atone

The blood that was shed in this place
The world rid of every trace
Scrolls with words
Wings on birds

The things you trust and remember
The light to bring and darkness sever

We wait impatiently
For the moment
And when it comes
We will own it

When we can reach
Beyond the edge
To the dreams
On the other ledge

To feel the air
On our own
But beside the other
So we aren't alone

A preparation
Given enough time
But never just
To stand in line

To dance
The whole way there
To always know
But not quite care

We scavenge
These empty streets
But among
All the people we meet

We only find
Desperate friends
Who find a way
To seek an end

This journey begun
With hope in hand
To bring ourselves
To a promise land

A roof over our heads
A floor to sweep
Many gentle memories
To make and keep

Two eyes
And then four
Some time
And then more

Every step to start a
Another journeying
Every lesson
We are learning

I wouldn't want to
Do it alone
That's why I have you
My solid stone

A rock of guidance
And wisdom sweet
To show me where
To place my feet

Every word
From your mouth
Every picture
On a shelf

Hung and spoken
With so much care
If I look behind me
I see you there

Watching, with a smile
To see me grow
That look in your eyes
I already know

The memories
We shall weave
And my heart
You shall never leave

As fall rains
In gentle leaves
And it kisses
With a gentle breeze

We embark
On a new path
A home to make
A way to last

When I say your blow
Struck me to the core
Know, I am not a soft caramel center
Not melting in your mouth
I am the center of a young star
Holding it's own in the sky

I tell you it bothers me, mine
Shake my head
Tears in my eyes
Say it's fine
You didn't set boundaries
She crosses the line
You say you love me
I say more
I wonder so much
How we have so little time

Lay next to me
While I go
To the bottom of my mind
Breathe in helium, oxygen, moonlight
Consciousness, floating to the ceiling
I am dreaming, lucid
I am watching the world
In third person, in black and gray
Small matters of the mind
Busy bodies following patterns
Mouths reciting scripts
It is mundane
When I looking through, glass
Panel of my own mind
First person
That is when I see, horrors
Technicolor
I bare it badly as it were gospel
These nightmares an unholy conquest
Against my consciousness

bills and lotions we're over coating
I'm hurt but I still want you

You say yes
I say no
You say stay
I say go

What I say does it really matter
Do my words ever reach your brain

Or do they float in empty air
Void of meaning
Void of care

I want the truth without deception
But all I get is

Send me away
   Just never say *goodbye

One day
I will look on your world
With great fondness
Too long
Have I held my breath
Against the terrible monotony of time
Marching this unforgiving carcass
Across the sand
I am tired
Weary
Aging
My youth has forsaken me
For the fading promise of tomorrow
She has born little fruit
I will go into the desert again
The sun will come to my skin
A lover that has been waiting
To kiss me with passion
To touch
Has it been forty years
Or only a moment
The figs will dry to anjeer
Or perhaps it is only a mirage
There is nothing tangible here
Beyond the sand
And she
Slips all too easily
Through my fingers

**** it
That's all I know
That and how
To let go
Its not a Disney movie
With a happy ending
If I make it to the end
Then I will be happy
But for this poor moment
I am trapped in a room
Forced to make friends
With the monster
Under my bed
Shaking hands
Rolling dice
Selling souls void of emotion
A dark candle with little light
I lost this game
I lost the race
But I wonder who will take my place

gray and gay
black to black
white and tie
purple and pearl
pink on ink
yellow so mellow
green like dream
all lost in the sea

I have no peace in me tonight
I have waged this war against all my days
It wearies me as never before
I fight with words
Yet you have lain such a seige against me
With the fire licking flames from off your tongue
My gates, they will not hold
I will succumb to the fire and she will burn me up from the inside
As if I were made of dry kindling and oil

The thought of smoke fills my lungs
I bite the back of a cigarette like it was a shell between my teeth
She tastes of death and the promise of hope
It is just a thought
Yet it eats away at me as if it were a famine

Still there is no peace to be found
Not in the palm of either of these fists
Or in the dreams that will pass through my sheets tonight
Oh that you would find a quiet thought that I could hold
To change the way the world creeps into my mind while I sleep

No peace for me tonight

I cant be fully cooked
if I am:
       hot on the outside
       but lukewarm about you
       on the inside
       and my heart is still as
       cold as it was

Stop staying in abusive relationships and situations, just stop.

So maybe there is this
And I still see that I am nothing
But a vessel
And as such I am -infinitely nothing
So fill me up

My heart loves kindness
And those slow to anger

When I hear your name
My heart suffers

Do not deny
You have reached into darkness
To take what you can get

How do the land of the living
And the land of the dead
Know of each other

Are not those who go between
Only dreams
Made of salt and shadow

Would you like to store your heart in this person?

Now.                     Never.                        Ask Me Later.

If you see my sanity please bring it back.

Thank you.

I painted over my chipped nail polish
And dreamed away my fears
I stopped breathing in toxic waste
And wiped away my tears

Gentle hands and tarnished rings
A key in your pocket
To open a song that sings
A heart on my throat, a locket

A dream in a day
A jellyfish in the sea
A sky with a elephant
Would you dance with me?

Could you swim to my shore
Would you find my Island
Your not Johnny Depp
But you broke my silence

Open my heart
Unfolded my wings
Taught me to fly
And shared many things

A night with a meal
A tower of gold
A person who loves
Like a deadly cold

It is catchy it's infectious
And you will never be better
Trapped like a prisoner
Within a heart shaped fetter

But you have the key
So set yourself free

Swim away and sing on
I'm not going, I'm gone

it is cold in Nowhere
the candles are all lost
it is dark in Nowhere
the moon is on vacation
it is peaceful in Nowhere
the war is all behind
I am trapped in Nowhere
don't try to get me out
the cage is fake
and all the bars

Oblivion calls my name
The unknown I will break upon
I answer in whispers
Riddled with moonlight
To know you
Is to feel the sun on my face
I miss the summer
I long for the love she bore

The fog passed in tendrils
Like ghosts over the bridge
Shredded to threads
By the cars passing by

Like sunrises over the hill
The headlights climb
In single file
Racing to the horizon

These foggy nights
Are what I live for
Driving into oblivion
With you by my side

I stare into the heavens
The vast expanse
Has already past
I wonder
Who looks back
Sees me
As I was
Are we ever as we are
Are we ever
We are barely here
Hardly human

I pull away
Like the sand from the shore
Only to throw myself against you again
The moon is full
She lights my way
I rush to you
And break upon your arms

I stare at the sea
It gives it’s loneliness to me
How long has it longed
To touch beyond the shore
To reach what is beyond
I do not know
What is in the deep
I am compelled
It eats away at me
High tide
Ebb and flow
There is no give and take here
Between the rocks and the shoals
We all succumb
To salt water sirens
We love
Because we fear
Give in to her
To the madness of the ocean

I'm already living in black and white
You didn't need to add salt water too