I sometimes resent my resilience.....
I wish that after being tossed around and spit out by this world I'd stay down I'd not bother getting up id stay  where this strong world set me listen to its advice take its orders
I wish that after being assured by this world of how regular I am I wouldn't insist that I'm special
I wish that after this cold hard world told me I hadn't seen nothing yet I wouldn't insist that I had or that I knew what was coming next
I wish that when I looked in the mirror and heard all my flaws hiss I wouldn't insist on  the fact that I'm beautifull
I wish that when I find something broken I wouldnt  assure this world I can fix that .. I know whta I'm doing... Ill make this work
I wish that when my life and myself leave so much to be desired I wouldn't be so sure it's because the world has something else coming for Me
That it in fact it Is you strong world that hasn't fufilled my potential ...
I wish I knew how to wish come true.

Of salt in ocean

Of sugar in tea

Of wheat in a
Deadbeat loaf
Going green.

Whta this means

Is nothing

Is only being

A grain
A universe

And happy

the crash is what hits hardest
after you've tried with all your strength to get better
you can feel the edorphins start to release inside your brain
and you believe that this, this is what serenity feels like

you cry euphoric tears
no longer does the body you live in feel like deadweight that is a pain to carry upon two worn out feet
it feels like air, as if you are floating and as if nothing ceases to be
this, this is what life should feel

and then the crash hits
it comes out of nowhere as most "accidents" do
suddenly those bright skies are filled with ominious clouds
and your bright eyes are covered with a film of monochrome
you're stunned, paralysed with fear of whta this could all mean
a state of being so long unexperienced you almost forgot that it was ever in existence
but the crash happens
and you are left stranded in the middle of the highway
body returning to lifelessness