Do you remember that time when I pulled your hair and you cried to Auntie Sue?
I do.
Can you recall how amazingly tall Uncle Tom was?
because I can.
Then I turned into a man as if any boy can, and these thoughts that occur make me wish to be back there
amid the bluebells and corn in the fields of my home.
But we roam and the home becomes distant,though a piece is always kept in the back of my mind,along with comic books and her good looks and sometimes I forget how I shook like a leaf,when the first time was that time just beyond a belief.
No grief though as I go through these pictures that tell me and in images fell me
just smiles across the miles of the years that separate,
me and my fate
we've got another kind of date to arrange
a strange sort of meeting
straight talking,no cheating
I'll be waiting at the gate
in that state of unreadiness
I'm famous for.

Empty Victory.
Setback.
Opposition.
Unreadiness.
Change.
Triumph.
Refle­ction.
Sorrow.
Persistence.

when i look at you
to say something in pace of rafts
on rivers,

cadencing
claptrap swerve of wording
in tongue's avenue

         is its nature—

    spreading contagion of ill pride.
seeking diadems in fields of night larks
   singing heavily, unapologetic, eulogizing
   mornings none we could take,

  whirling inside our bodies like
     stirred poisons in vials. past the unreadiness of moonlight waxing
    stellified are the waters now, clear
in first light,
    
      like fish underneath our bellies.

Once upon a time. Very, very long ago
I saw this faint, distant light
Without direction, I decided to follow
Trudging forward, it growing ever more bright

Years and years I dauntlessly traveled
Always directed into it's glow
Time broke down and eventually unraveled
As I steered myself into this luminescent show

Engulfed in radiant splendor
I realized I was finally there
A warmth so tender
I surrendered to it's care

I lived here forever
Maybe even longer
Was there a time before? Probably never.
It's embrace grows stronger

All at once or maybe little by little
I can't say, eternities were like hours
But what once was a torrent became a trickle
A chill encroached upon the light's unfathomable powers

I was only a visitor here, welcome to stay
To recover my strength and heal my weariness
But the moment has come, that dreaded day
To venture forth from the light into dreariness

To steel me for my quest was the light's intent
Alone to soldier forward into endless black
Waves of unreadiness wash over me, by myself I went
To never see the light again, no turning back

This is where I am now or have I always been?
Cold, alone, afraid with nothing to see
Am I awake or asleep? Sometimes I think I dream
Of an idea of a time before the void's uncertainty

It's hard to comprehend and harder each time
To think of anything existing besides the nothing and me.
I am slipping, terminally.
Soon there will only be nothing. No more me or dream of mine.

I am nothing and I have always been. Infinite emptiness, eternally.

An ordinary morning
in October
no different
from another day's
people, time, place, space
all come together
in what we name:
existence

every moment
an enticement
how shall we grasp
the day, escape self-entrapment?
the world is an unending
playing field
what rewards
will it yield?

do we look away
in unreadiness or doubt?
look at the kids
how free, how happy
they sing, how they dance
frolic and shout!

let us live
life is fragile
the past is memory
the future is misty
but the present
is the prize
and the most worthwhile

time takes
no one's side
it's the lonely sentinel
to none and nothing allied

amidst this fragility
and contingency
to whom should I turn
what should I learn?

at this hour
the children
have left he field
for home
and silence begins
to descend
a sudden strange silence
sets in to reign
a deep feeling
wells in my heart
what it portends
is beyond my understanding
left alone to my thoughts
I have a sense of loss
as gone is this October morning