"unfearful" poems
Everything is perfect,
and nothing makes sense.
One half-silly smile,
a split second knowing glance
and you’ve lifted me from the ground,
freed me from the laws of man and earth.
And just because of that,
I’m afraid to love you.
It’s not your fault.
Don’t blame yourself.
It’s me.
I’m afraid for you, and I’m afraid for me,
but I still feel my pulse racing
the instant you appear,
a tingling that starts in my fingertips,
then shoots up my body,.. a pulsating lightning bolt
that splashes into my mind
and explodes into.. hot.. blinding white light.
A buzzing, stomping insistence that I recognize
the affect you have on me.
I’m left short of breath, eyes wide, dizzy
and suddenly, longing for your gentle touch.
Chaos inside
I am everywhere
and nowhere.
I am limitless yet tethered
I am willingly losing control
but the fear balances on my edge…
I cannot lose control, again,
and the confusion makes me afraid.
Afraid to love you.
I know
if I let myself
I would be with you forever
which is much longer than a lifetime.
I would take all my choices, my dreams, my fear
and set them at your feet
my.. gifts of sacrifice for the only one
for who I would give my life
I would confess to you my joy
and hide in you my pain
for I know that you would view
each with a critical but loving eye,
You understand that I’m not the perfect man
that I pretend to be
you’re ok that sometimes
I’m not even up
to being me.
You accept me as I am.
You’re the only one.
It feels so right,
which is exactly why
I’m afraid to love you.
Still, I see it in you.
I’m not that blind.
I can see what I’m afraid to see.
You’re eyes shine when I talk to you
of simple things.
You’re breath catches in your throat
when you’ve made me smile
I make you laugh… You make me laugh.
At little things and when we’re angry.
When I am near you
I feel as though I should sing.
I wish for nothing
except our songs entwined.
I feel you tremble at my lightest touch.
You are a dove
unfearful of my captive embrace.
I belong to you,
and you to me.
Oh God, help me
because that’s exactly why
I’m afraid to love you…
… but I do…
Feb 7, 2013
Feb 7, 2013 at 9:46 AM UTC
Started from ‘call your seniors sir’
these four years have been on roller coaster.
From never missing any lab or lecture,
to going online of entire semester.
From finding every face new in the corridor,
to opening of bottles behind every door.
Long lines running out of the cafeteria,
and now running wild on unemployment hysteria.
Myriad hours spent staring at laptops
and did I mention long boring workshops?
Bonds with eternal laughs and tears
some worth, some broken love affairs.
Timidly walking through the hallway of classrooms,
to bursting crackers inside bathrooms.
Don’t know about the insights on this way;
but guaranteed were new experiences every day.
All these years we had an August run,
or should I say four years of endless fun?
Curiously wandering in pursuit of new teams,
now running against time, chasing dreams.
These bolted doors are testimony to all the screams,
morphing to adulthood from our silly teens.
Unfearful moments strolling in the common hall,
and endless hours practicing basketball.
Cheers to everyone who was part of this journey,
opening up paths of limitless learning.
And some answers I’m still searching,
like who left that chair outside my room; burning!
Jul 31, 2021
Jul 31, 2021 at 4:59 AM UTC
I don't know how to write anymore because the days are no longer running together and the only drug I need to sleep is the heat radiating from your body.
Today I feel you marvel in everything I am, and overlook all the things I could never be. For these are the things that never cross my mind when I push my lips against yours.
If this is how one wears love, have I ever been blanketed with the real deal before?
Or have I just been caught in the crossfire of half assed" I love you's" and " please forgive me's" my entire life?
I never knew the blink of a mans eyes could flicker with such an unmistakable spark of hope, it's like glass never slipped out of my needle fingertips in the first place.
What a gift I have been given to watch you walk around barefoot unfearful of the sharp pieces of me that aren't so pretty.
What an anomaly it is to be unapologetically real with someone as graceful as you.
Feb 5, 2017
Feb 5, 2017 at 3:31 PM UTC
The words of a fearful mother,
**"Never let feet wonder under the bed,
those not seen linger there,**
But of innocence do child's eyes of wonderment
perceive all that they see, but fingers lie static in
waiting for unfearful ones that sway there little
toes upon the drapes covering the shadows beneath
the bed. Hushed tones converge underneath in silence.
As fingers encroach from obscurity, heeding the
random movements that innocence sings to the air.
Like a viper mimicking its wandering, delaying until
it impersonates their movements, then the masquerade falls.
A momentary murmur of what was there, now an echo
fading as a mother search's with despair, but the covering
wonders too and froe, Then she knows her baby is lost.The room
is now vacant but a shadow lingers where the bed once laid..
Jan 5, 2017
Jan 5, 2017 at 4:54 PM UTC
Unfearful
But full-filled with fear
Oh dear
Waiting for a sign
Dec 25, 2016
Dec 25, 2016 at 4:04 PM UTC
The demon king
Had much to tell
Of those that had
Twisted his actions.
They had summoned
And questioned and
Bargained and laughed
But Paimon will always
Get vengeance.
Stay true to these words
To the story they tell
Keep your mischief
Separate from magic.
If you summon Paimon
Unwary to danger
His darkness will
Swallow your soul.
These things he taught me
A young mortal pup
For to me he had
Taken a liking.
So released him I did
Fair winds he bid me
And he continues to
Bring on his mayhem.
At crossroads and crypts
In ****** and theft
The demon still marks
With his hand.
Yet I walk unfearful
To attacks born of evil
For Paimon yet walks
Our land.
Jan 11, 2018
Jan 11, 2018 at 10:36 AM UTC