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“I cannot but remember such things were,
  And were most dear to me.”
  ‘Macbeth’

  [”That were most precious to me.”
  ‘Macbeth’, act iv, sc. 3.]


When slow Disease, with all her host of Pains,
Chills the warm tide, which flows along the veins;
When Health, affrighted, spreads her rosy wing,
And flies with every changing gale of spring;
Not to the aching frame alone confin’d,
Unyielding pangs assail the drooping mind:
What grisly forms, the spectre-train of woe,
Bid shuddering Nature shrink beneath the blow,
With Resignation wage relentless strife,
While Hope retires appall’d, and clings to life.
Yet less the pang when, through the tedious hour,
Remembrance sheds around her genial power,
Calls back the vanish’d days to rapture given,
When Love was bliss, and Beauty form’d our heaven;
Or, dear to youth, pourtrays each childish scene,
Those fairy bowers, where all in turn have been.
As when, through clouds that pour the summer storm,
The orb of day unveils his distant form,
Gilds with faint beams the crystal dews of rain
And dimly twinkles o’er the watery plain;
Thus, while the future dark and cheerless gleams,
The Sun of Memory, glowing through my dreams,
Though sunk the radiance of his former blaze,
To scenes far distant points his paler rays,
Still rules my senses with unbounded sway,
The past confounding with the present day.

Oft does my heart indulge the rising thought,
Which still recurs, unlook’d for and unsought;
My soul to Fancy’s fond suggestion yields,
And roams romantic o’er her airy fields.
Scenes of my youth, develop’d, crowd to view,
To which I long have bade a last adieu!
Seats of delight, inspiring youthful themes;
Friends lost to me, for aye, except in dreams;
Some, who in marble prematurely sleep,
Whose forms I now remember, but to weep;
Some, who yet urge the same scholastic course
Of early science, future fame the source;
Who, still contending in the studious race,
In quick rotation, fill the senior place!
These, with a thousand visions, now unite,
To dazzle, though they please, my aching sight.

IDA! blest spot, where Science holds her reign,
How joyous, once, I join’d thy youthful train!
Bright, in idea, gleams thy lofty spire,
Again, I mingle with thy playful quire;
Our tricks of mischief, every childish game,
Unchang’d by time or distance, seem the same;
Through winding paths, along the glade I trace
The social smile of every welcome face;
My wonted haunts, my scenes of joy or woe,
Each early boyish friend, or youthful foe,
Our feuds dissolv’d, but not my friendship past,—
I bless the former, and forgive the last.
Hours of my youth! when, nurtur’d in my breast,
To Love a stranger, Friendship made me blest,—
Friendship, the dear peculiar bond of youth,
When every artless ***** throbs with truth;
Untaught by worldly wisdom how to feign,
And check each impulse with prudential rein;
When, all we feel, our honest souls disclose,
In love to friends, in open hate to foes;
No varnish’d tales the lips of youth repeat,
No dear-bought knowledge purchased by deceit;
Hypocrisy, the gift of lengthen’d years,
Matured by age, the garb of Prudence wears:
When, now, the Boy is ripen’d into Man,
His careful Sire chalks forth some wary plan;
Instructs his Son from Candour’s path to shrink,
Smoothly to speak, and cautiously to think;
Still to assent, and never to deny—
A patron’s praise can well reward the lie:
And who, when Fortune’s warning voice is heard,
Would lose his opening prospects for a word?
Although, against that word, his heart rebel,
And Truth, indignant, all his ***** swell.

  Away with themes like this! not mine the task,
From flattering friends to tear the hateful mask;
Let keener bards delight in Satire’s sting,
My Fancy soars not on Detraction’s wing:
Once, and but once, she aim’d a deadly blow,
To hurl Defiance on a secret Foe;
But when that foe, from feeling or from shame,
The cause unknown, yet still to me the same,
Warn’d by some friendly hint, perchance, retir’d,
With this submission all her rage expired.
From dreaded pangs that feeble Foe to save,
She hush’d her young resentment, and forgave.
Or, if my Muse a Pedant’s portrait drew,
POMPOSUS’ virtues are but known to few:
I never fear’d the young usurper’s nod,
And he who wields must, sometimes, feel the rod.
If since on Granta’s failings, known to all
Who share the converse of a college hall,
She sometimes trifled in a lighter strain,
’Tis past, and thus she will not sin again:
Soon must her early song for ever cease,
And, all may rail, when I shall rest in peace.

  Here, first remember’d be the joyous band,
Who hail’d me chief, obedient to command;
Who join’d with me, in every boyish sport,
Their first adviser, and their last resort;
Nor shrunk beneath the upstart pedant’s frown,
Or all the sable glories of his gown;
Who, thus, transplanted from his father’s school,
Unfit to govern, ignorant of rule—
Succeeded him, whom all unite to praise,
The dear preceptor of my early days,
PROBUS, the pride of science, and the boast—
To IDA now, alas! for ever lost!
With him, for years, we search’d the classic page,
And fear’d the Master, though we lov’d the Sage:
Retir’d at last, his small yet peaceful seat
From learning’s labour is the blest retreat.
POMPOSUS fills his magisterial chair;
POMPOSUS governs,—but, my Muse, forbear:
Contempt, in silence, be the pedant’s lot,
His name and precepts be alike forgot;
No more his mention shall my verse degrade,—
To him my tribute is already paid.

  High, through those elms with hoary branches crown’d
Fair IDA’S bower adorns the landscape round;
There Science, from her favour’d seat, surveys
The vale where rural Nature claims her praise;
To her awhile resigns her youthful train,
Who move in joy, and dance along the plain;
In scatter’d groups, each favour’d haunt pursue,
Repeat old pastimes, and discover new;
Flush’d with his rays, beneath the noontide Sun,
In rival bands, between the wickets run,
Drive o’er the sward the ball with active force,
Or chase with nimble feet its rapid course.
But these with slower steps direct their way,
Where Brent’s cool waves in limpid currents stray,
While yonder few search out some green retreat,
And arbours shade them from the summer heat:
Others, again, a pert and lively crew,
Some rough and thoughtless stranger plac’d in view,
With frolic quaint their antic jests expose,
And tease the grumbling rustic as he goes;
Nor rest with this, but many a passing fray
Tradition treasures for a future day:
“’Twas here the gather’d swains for vengeance fought,
And here we earn’d the conquest dearly bought:
Here have we fled before superior might,
And here renew’d the wild tumultuous fight.”
While thus our souls with early passions swell,
In lingering tones resounds the distant bell;
Th’ allotted hour of daily sport is o’er,
And Learning beckons from her temple’s door.
No splendid tablets grace her simple hall,
But ruder records fill the dusky wall:
There, deeply carv’d, behold! each Tyro’s name
Secures its owner’s academic fame;
Here mingling view the names of Sire and Son,
The one long grav’d, the other just begun:
These shall survive alike when Son and Sire,
Beneath one common stroke of fate expire;
Perhaps, their last memorial these alone,
Denied, in death, a monumental stone,
Whilst to the gale in mournful cadence wave
The sighing weeds, that hide their nameless grave.
And, here, my name, and many an early friend’s,
Along the wall in lengthen’d line extends.
Though, still, our deeds amuse the youthful race,
Who tread our steps, and fill our former place,
Who young obeyed their lords in silent awe,
Whose nod commanded, and whose voice was law;
And now, in turn, possess the reins of power,
To rule, the little Tyrants of an hour;
Though sometimes, with the Tales of ancient day,
They pass the dreary Winter’s eve away;
“And, thus, our former rulers stemm’d the tide,
And, thus, they dealt the combat, side by side;
Just in this place, the mouldering walls they scaled,
Nor bolts, nor bars, against their strength avail’d;
Here PROBUS came, the rising fray to quell,
And, here, he falter’d forth his last farewell;
And, here, one night abroad they dared to roam,
While bold POMPOSUS bravely staid at home;”
While thus they speak, the hour must soon arrive,
When names of these, like ours, alone survive:
Yet a few years, one general wreck will whelm
The faint remembrance of our fairy realm.

  Dear honest race! though now we meet no more,
One last long look on what we were before—
Our first kind greetings, and our last adieu—
Drew tears from eyes unus’d to weep with you.
Through splendid circles, Fashion’s gaudy world,
Where Folly’s glaring standard waves unfurl’d,
I plung’d to drown in noise my fond regret,
And all I sought or hop’d was to forget:
Vain wish! if, chance, some well-remember’d face,
Some old companion of my early race,
Advanc’d to claim his friend with honest joy,
My eyes, my heart, proclaim’d me still a boy;
The glittering scene, the fluttering groups around,
Were quite forgotten when my friend was found;
The smiles of Beauty, (for, alas! I’ve known
What ’tis to bend before Love’s mighty throne;)
The smiles of Beauty, though those smiles were dear,
Could hardly charm me, when that friend was near:
My thoughts bewilder’d in the fond surprise,
The woods of IDA danc’d before my eyes;
I saw the sprightly wand’rers pour along,
I saw, and join’d again the joyous throng;
Panting, again I trac’d her lofty grove,
And Friendship’s feelings triumph’d over Love.

  Yet, why should I alone with such delight
Retrace the circuit of my former flight?
Is there no cause beyond the common claim,
Endear’d to all in childhood’s very name?
Ah! sure some stronger impulse vibrates here,
Which whispers friendship will be doubly dear
To one, who thus for kindred hearts must roam,
And seek abroad, the love denied at home.
Those hearts, dear IDA, have I found in thee,
A home, a world, a paradise to me.
Stern Death forbade my orphan youth to share
The tender guidance of a Father’s care;
Can Rank, or e’en a Guardian’s name supply
The love, which glistens in a Father’s eye?
For this, can Wealth, or Title’s sound atone,
Made, by a Parent’s early loss, my own?
What Brother springs a Brother’s love to seek?
What Sister’s gentle kiss has prest my cheek?
For me, how dull the vacant moments rise,
To no fond ***** link’d by kindred ties!
Oft, in the progress of some fleeting dream,
Fraternal smiles, collected round me seem;
While still the visions to my heart are prest,
The voice of Love will murmur in my rest:
I hear—I wake—and in the sound rejoice!
I hear again,—but, ah! no Brother’s voice.
A Hermit, ’midst of crowds, I fain must stray
Alone, though thousand pilgrims fill the way;
While these a thousand kindred wreaths entwine,
I cannot call one single blossom mine:
What then remains? in solitude to groan,
To mix in friendship, or to sigh alone?
Thus, must I cling to some endearing hand,
And none more dear, than IDA’S social band.

  Alonzo! best and dearest of my friends,
Thy name ennobles him, who thus commends:
From this fond tribute thou canst gain no praise;
The praise is his, who now that tribute pays.
Oh! in the promise of thy early youth,
If Hope anticipate the words of Truth!
Some loftier bard shall sing thy glorious name,
To build his own, upon thy deathless fame:
Friend of my heart, and foremost of the list
Of those with whom I lived supremely blest;
Oft have we drain’d the font of ancient lore,
Though drinking deeply, thirsting still the more;
Yet, when Confinement’s lingering hour was done,
Our sports, our studies, and our souls were one:
Together we impell’d the flying ball,
Together waited in our tutor’s hall;
Together join’d in cricket’s manly toil,
Or shar’d the produce of the river’s spoil;
Or plunging from the green declining shore,
Our pliant limbs the buoyant billows bore:
In every element, unchang’d, the same,
All, all that brothers should be, but the name.

  Nor, yet, are you forgot, my jocund Boy!
DAVUS, the harbinger of childish joy;
For ever foremost in the ranks of fun,
The laughing herald of the harmless pun;
Yet, with a breast of such materials made,
Anxious to please, of pleasing half afraid;
Candid and liberal, with a heart of steel
In Danger’s path, though not untaught to feel.
Still, I remember, in the factious strife,
The rustic’s musket aim’d against my life:
High pois’d in air the massy weapon hung,
A cry of horror burst from every tongue:
Whilst I, in combat with another foe,
Fought on, unconscious of th’ impending blow;
Your arm, brave Boy, arrested his career—
Forward you sprung, insensible to fear;
Disarm’d, and baffled by your conquering hand,
The grovelling Savage roll’d upon the sand:
An act like this, can simple thanks repay?
Or all the labours of a grateful lay?
Oh no! whene’er my breast forgets the deed,
That instant, DAVUS, it deserves to bleed.

  LYCUS! on me thy claims are justly great:
Thy milder virtues could my Muse relate,
To thee, alone, unrivall’d, would belong
The feeble efforts of my lengthen’d song.
Well canst thou boast, to lead in senates fit,
A Spartan firmness, with Athenian wit:
Though yet, in embryo, these perfections shine,
LYCUS! thy father’s fame will soon be thine.
Where Learning nurtures the superior mind,
What may we hope, from genius thus refin’d;
When Time, at length, matures thy growing years,
How wilt thou tower, above thy fellow peers!
Prudence and sense, a spirit bold and free,
With Honour’s soul, united beam in thee.

Shall fair EURYALUS, pass by unsung?
From ancient lineage, not unworthy, sprung:
What, though one sad dissension bade us part,
That name is yet embalm’d within my heart,
Yet, at the mention, does that heart rebound,
And palpitate, responsive to the sound;
Envy dissolved our ties, and not our will:
We once were friends,—I’ll think, we are so still.
A form unmatch’d in Nature’s partial mould,
A heart untainted, we, in thee, behold:
Yet, not the Senate’s thunder thou shall wield,
Nor seek for glory, in the tented field:
To minds of ruder texture, these be given—
Thy soul shall nearer soar its native heaven.
Haply, in polish’d courts might be thy seat,
But, that thy tongue could never forge deceit:
The courtier’s supple bow, and sneering smile,
The flow of compliment, the slippery wile,
Would make that breast, with indignation, burn,
And, all the glittering snares, to tempt thee, spurn.
Domestic happiness will stamp thy fate;
Sacred to love, unclouded e’er by hate;
The world admire thee, and thy friends adore;—
Ambition’s slave, alone, would toil for more.

  Now last, but nearest, of the social band,
See honest, open, generous CLEON stand;
With scarce one speck, to cloud the pleasing scene,
No vice degrades that purest soul serene.
On the same day, our studious race begun,
On the same day, our studious race was run;
Thus, side by side, we pass’d our first career,
Thus, side by side, we strove for many a year:
At last, concluded our scholastic life,
We neither conquer’d in the classic strife:
As Speakers, each supports an equal name,
And crowds allow to both a partial fame:
To soothe a youthful Rival’s early pride,
Though Cleon’s candour would the palm divide,
Yet Candour’s self compels me now to own,
Justice awards it to my Friend alone.

  Oh! Friends regretted, Scenes for ever dear,
Remembrance hails you with her warmest tear!
Drooping, she bends o’er pensive Fancy’s urn,
To trace the hours, which never can return;
Yet, with the retrospection loves to dwell,
And soothe the sorrows of her last farewell!
Yet greets the triumph of my boyish mind,
As infant laurels round my head were twin’d;
When PROBUS’ praise repaid my lyric song,
Or plac’d me higher in the studious throng;
Or when my first harangue receiv’d applause,
His sage instruction the primeval cause,
What gratitude, to him, my soul possest,
While hope of dawning honours fill’d my breast!
For all my humble fame, to him alone,
The praise is due, who made that fame my own.
Oh! could I soar above these feeble lays,
These young effusions of my early days,
To him my Muse her noblest strain would give,
The song might perish, but the theme might live.
Yet, why for him the needless verse essay?
His honour’d name requires no vain display:
By every son of grateful IDA blest,
It finds an ech
Oh that those lips had language! Life has pass'd
With me but roughly since I heard thee last.
Those lips are thine--thy own sweet smiles I see,
The same that oft in childhood solaced me;
Voice only fails, else, how distinct they say,
"Grieve not, my child, chase all thy fears away!"
The meek intelligence of those dear eyes
(Blest be the art that can immortalize,
The art that baffles time's tyrannic claim
To quench it) here shines on me still the same.

       Faithful remembrancer of one so dear,
Oh welcome guest, though unexpected, here!
Who bidd'st me honour with an artless song,
Affectionate, a mother lost so long,
I will obey, not willingly alone,
But gladly, as the precept were her own;
And, while that face renews my filial grief,
Fancy shall weave a charm for my relief--
Shall steep me in Elysian reverie,
A momentary dream, that thou art she.

       My mother! when I learn'd that thou wast dead,
Say, wast thou conscious of the tears I shed?
Hover'd thy spirit o'er thy sorrowing son,
Wretch even then, life's journey just begun?
Perhaps thou gav'st me, though unseen, a kiss;
Perhaps a tear, if souls can weep in bliss--
Ah that maternal smile! it answers--Yes.
I heard the bell toll'd on thy burial day,
I saw the hearse that bore thee slow away,
And, turning from my nurs'ry window, drew
A long, long sigh, and wept a last adieu!
But was it such?--It was.--Where thou art gone
Adieus and farewells are a sound unknown.
May I but meet thee on that peaceful shore,
The parting sound shall pass my lips no more!
Thy maidens griev'd themselves at my concern,
Oft gave me promise of a quick return.
What ardently I wish'd, I long believ'd,
And, disappointed still, was still deceiv'd;
By disappointment every day beguil'd,
Dupe of to-morrow even from a child.
Thus many a sad to-morrow came and went,
Till, all my stock of infant sorrow spent,
I learn'd at last submission to my lot;
But, though I less deplor'd thee, ne'er forgot.

       Where once we dwelt our name is heard no more,
Children not thine have trod my nurs'ry floor;
And where the gard'ner Robin, day by day,
Drew me to school along the public way,
Delighted with my bauble coach, and wrapt
In scarlet mantle warm, and velvet capt,
'Tis now become a history little known,
That once we call'd the past'ral house our own.
Short-liv'd possession! but the record fair
That mem'ry keeps of all thy kindness there,
Still outlives many a storm that has effac'd
A thousand other themes less deeply trac'd.
Thy nightly visits to my chamber made,
That thou might'st know me safe and warmly laid;
Thy morning bounties ere I left my home,
The biscuit, or confectionary plum;
The fragrant waters on my cheeks bestow'd
By thy own hand, till fresh they shone and glow'd;
All this, and more endearing still than all,
Thy constant flow of love, that knew no fall,
Ne'er roughen'd by those cataracts and brakes
That humour interpos'd too often makes;
All this still legible in mem'ry's page,
And still to be so, to my latest age,
Adds joy to duty, makes me glad to pay
Such honours to thee as my numbers may;
Perhaps a frail memorial, but sincere,
Not scorn'd in heav'n, though little notic'd here.

       Could time, his flight revers'd, restore the hours,
When, playing with thy vesture's tissued flow'rs,
The violet, the pink, and jessamine,
I *****'d them into paper with a pin,
(And thou wast happier than myself the while,
Would'st softly speak, and stroke my head and smile)
Could those few pleasant hours again appear,
Might one wish bring them, would I wish them here?
I would not trust my heart--the dear delight
Seems so to be desir'd, perhaps I might.--
But no--what here we call our life is such,
So little to be lov'd, and thou so much,
That . I should ill requite thee to constrain
Thy unbound spirit into bonds again.

       Thou, as a gallant bark from Albion's coast
(The storms all weather'd and the ocean cross'd)
Shoots into port at some well-haven'd isle,
Where spices breathe and brighter seasons smile,
There sits quiescent on the floods that show
Her beauteous form reflected clear below,
While airs impregnated with incense play
Around her, fanning light her streamers gay;
So thou, with sails how swift! hast reach'd the shore
"Where tempests never beat nor billows roar,"
And thy lov'd consort on the dang'rous tide
Of life, long since, has anchor'd at thy side.
But me, scarce hoping to attain that rest,
Always from port withheld, always distress'd--
Me howling winds drive devious, tempest toss'd,
Sails ript, seams op'ning wide, and compass lost,
And day by day some current's thwarting force
Sets me more distant from a prosp'rous course.
But oh the thought, that thou art safe, and he!
That thought is joy, arrive what may to me.
My boast is not that I deduce my birth
From ***** enthron'd, and rulers of the earth;
But higher far my proud pretensions rise--
The son of parents pass'd into the skies.
And now, farewell--time, unrevok'd, has run
His wonted course, yet what I wish'd is done.
By contemplation's help, not sought in vain,
I seem t' have liv'd my childhood o'er again;
To have renew'd the joys that once were mine,
Without the sin of violating thine:
And, while the wings of fancy still are free,
And I can view this mimic shew of thee,
Time has but half succeeded in his theft--
Thyself remov'd, thy power to sooth me left.
All the night in woe,
Lyca’s parents go:
Over vallies deep.
While the desarts weep.

Tired and woe-begone.
Hoarse with making moan:
Arm in arm seven days.
They trac’d the desert ways.

Seven nights they sleep.
Among shadows deep:
And dream they see their child
Starvdd in desart wild.

Pale thro’ pathless ways
The fancied image strays.
Famish’d, weeping, weak
With hollow piteous shriek

Rising from unrest,
The trembling woman prest,
With feet of weary woe;
She could no further go.

In his arms he bore.
Her arm’d with sorrow sore:
Till before their way
A couching lion lay.

Turning back was vain,
Soon his heavy mane.
Bore them to the ground;
Then he stalk’d around.

Smelling to his prey,
But their fears allay,
When he licks their hands:
And silent by them stands.

They look upon his eyes
Fill’d with deep surprise:
And wondering behold.
A spirit arm’d in gold.

On his head a crown
On his shoulders down,
Flow’d his golden hair.
Gone was all their care.

Follow me he said,
Weep not for the maid;
In my palace deep.
Lyca lies asleep.

Then they followed,
Where the vision led;
And saw their sleeping child,
Among tygers wild.

To this day they dwell
In a lonely dell
Nor fear the wolvish howl,
Nor the lion’s growl.
You say you love, and yet your eye
  No symptom of that love conveys,
You say you love, yet know not why,
  Your cheek no sign of love betrays.

Ah! did that breast with ardour glow,
With me alone it joy could know,
Or feel with me the listless woe,
  Which racks my heart when far from thee.

Whene’er we meet my blushes rise,
  And mantle through my purpled cheek,
But yet no blush to mine replies,
  Nor e’en your eyes your love bespeak.

Your voice alone declares your flame,
And though so sweet it breathes my name,
Our passions still are not the same;
  Alas! you cannot love like me.

For e’en your lip seems steep’d in snow,
  And though so oft it meets my kiss,
It burns with no responsive glow,
  Nor melts like mine in dewy bliss.

Ah! what are words to love like mine,
Though uttered by a voice like thine,
I still in murmurs must repine,
  And think that love can ne’er be true,

Which meets me with no joyous sign,
  Without a sigh which bids adieu;
How different is my love from thine,
  How keen my grief when leaving you.

Your image fills my anxious breast,
Till day declines adown the West,
And when at night, I sink to rest,
    In dreams your fancied form I view.

’Tis then your breast, no longer cold,
  With equal ardour seems to burn,
While close your arms around me fold,
  Your lips my kiss with warmth return.

Ah! would these joyous moments last;
Vain HOPE! the gay delusion’s past,
That voice!—ah! no, ’tis but the blast,
  Which echoes through the neighbouring grove.

But when awake, your lips I seek,
  And clasp enraptur’d all your charms,
So chill’s the pressure of your cheek,
  I fold a statue in my arms.

If thus, when to my heart embrac’d,
No pleasure in your eyes is trac’d,
You may be prudent, fair, and chaste,
  But ah! my girl, you do not love.
Here once engaged the stranger’s view
  Young Friendship’s record simply trac’d;
Few were her words,—but yet, though few,
  Resentment’s hand the line defac’d.

Deeply she cut—but not eras’d—
  The characters were still so plain,
That Friendship once return’d, and gaz’d,—
  Till Memory hail’d the words again.

Repentance plac’d them as before;
  Forgiveness join’d her gentle name;
So fair the inscription seem’d once more,
  That Friendship thought it still the same.

Thus might the Record now have been;
  But, ah, in spite of Hope’s endeavour,
Or Friendship’s tears, Pride rush’d between,
  And blotted out the line for ever.
Woman! experience might have told me
That all must love thee, who behold thee:
Surely experience might have taught
Thy firmest promises are nought;
But, plac’d in all thy charms before me,
All I forget, but to adore thee.
Oh memory! thou choicest blessing,
When join’d with hope, when still possessing;
But how much curst by every lover
When hope is fled, and passion’s over.
Woman, that fair and fond deceiver,
How prompt are striplings to believe her!
How throbs the pulse, when first we view
The eye that rolls in glossy blue,
Or sparkles black, or mildly throws
A beam from under hazel brows!
How quick we credit every oath,
And hear her plight the willing troth!
Fondly we hope ’twill last for ay,
When, lo! she changes in a day.
This record will for ever stand,’
“Woman, thy vows are trac’d in sand.”
Anig Muh Jul 2015
Nobody looks each other in the eye;
Poverty thrives so the courts don't run dry.

I see an old man with his walker in the rain alone,
can't find a ride with his ****** trac phone.

Everyone's too 'cautious' to give help or receive it honey,
but there's no limit when you have a lot of money.

America.

I see a couple cry in the rain before they're torn apart,
I guess nobody told them a dollar has no brain or heart.

Arrogance tried to **** kindness, but it's not dead only dormant.
Only because those who lack it make others their doormat.

Media.

Bleak concrete.
I stand filled with numb emotion as I see legged fish, swarming a landmade ocean.
Drown, Drown, no one will hear a sound.

So smoke your cancer and eat your heart attacks,
and don't forget to tip and pay your tax.
Deep in the gut cemetery of weeps and wallows;

Do you think the whale counts every small fish as he swallows?
Perhaps not, but I like to believe he does.
L'être que j'adore en ce monde,
Eût-il les pieds noirs et des poux,
C'est le mendiant, il m'inonde
Le cœur d'une extase profonde ;
Je lui baiserais les genoux.

D'abord il convient de vous dire
Que si je ne l'adorais pas,
Ça ferait peut-être sourire ;
On penserait : Hé ! le bon sire !
Il a le « trac » pour ses ducats.

Il a peur de faire l'aumône,
Ou qu'on le vole, il a raison
Dans la vie, ah ! tout n'est pas jaune,
Et mon ami le plus béjaune
Ne viendrait pas à la maison.

Ou, s'il venait, il voudrait faire,
Tout comme moi, les mêmes frais,
Nous compterions, quelle misère !
Et s'il me cassait, quoi ? son verre ?
Ah ! la tête que je ferais !

Je parlerais de ma famille
Tant, que c'en serait Han-Mer-Dent :
« J'ai ma femme, mon fils, ma fille ;
Oui, la petite est très gentille,
Mais ça coûte. - C'est évident ! »

Le mendiant, qu'est-ce qu'il coûte ?
Titus disait : un heureux jour.
Quand nous verrons plus d'une goutte,
Chacun trouvera sur sa route
Qu'avec cet homme, on fait l'amour.

Je l'aime, comme une parente,
Pauvre... mais ça... c'est un détail...,
D'une façon bien différente.
Si j'avais mille francs de rente.
Je lui donnerais... du travail.

Je lui dirais : Tu vas me faire
Un bonhomme sur ce papier.
- « Monsieur, je ne dessine guère, »
Alors... de me foutre en colère,
Trouves-tu cela trop... pompier ?

Il dessinerait son bonhomme
Bien ou mal, naturellement.
Je dirais : Combien ? - « Telle somme. »
Et je paierais ; c'est presque, en somme,
Ce que fait le Gouvernement.

Le mendiant, mais c'est mon frère !
Comment, mon frère ? Mais, c'est moi.
Je commence par me la faire,
La charité, la chose est claire.
Tu te la fais aussi, va, Toi.

Moi, souvent « je me le demande »
Et demande, quand ça me plaît.
Et bien ! pour ma langue gourmande,
Plus que la vôtre n'est normande,
Si saint Pierre ouvrait son volet

Seulement pour une seconde :
Si je suis là, si je le vois,
Bien que je doute qu'il réponde,
Je lui demande la plus ronde
Des lunes qui rient dans les bois.

Et si, - surprise ! et joie extrême ! -
J'entends : « tiens ! enfant, la voici ! »
Comme avec tes baisers que j'aime,
Je me barbouille tout de crème,
Sans seulement dire : merci.
Con cresta
o candor niño
o envión varón habría que osar izar un yo flamante en gozo
o autoengendrar hundido en el propio ego pozo
un nimio virgo vicio
un semi tic o trauma o trac o toc novicios
un novococo inédito por poco
un mero medio huevo al menos de algo nuevo
e inmerso en el subyo intimísimo
volver a ver reverdecer la fe de ser
y creer en crear
y croar y croar
ante todo ende o duende visiblemente real o inexistente
o hacer hacer
dentro de un nido umbrío y tibio
un hijo mito
mixto de silbo ido y de hipo divo de ídolo
o en rancia última instancia del cotidiano entreasco
a escoplo y soplo mago
remodelar habría los orificios psíquicos y físicos corrientes
de tanto espectro diario que desnutre la mecha
o un lazariento anhelo que todavía se yerga
como si pudiera
y darle con la proa de la lengua
y darle con las olas de la lengua
y furias y reflujos y mareas
al todo cráter cosmos
sin cráter
de la nada
PEARL SMOKE Nov 2018
Untitled
You once told me.
'Not everyone thinks like you'
I Now know.
what your phrase means.
how its applied to our life.
Its 2018
You still question whether
to continue on our love..
You are right. nobody thinks like me.
so I have to accept.
that's just who you've always been.
loved me with doubt.
---
Untitled
Been living in The dark.
Trapped by these 4 Walls.
Everyday, Same Feel.
Sadness & Helpless.
6 Years.
Living In a box .
Nothings changed
Happiness has not made its Way in
I Can’t no more .
I Sit On The cold Floor.

---

Untitled
The nerve you have to make me.
Feel as if I’m truly torturing .
As if you don’t deserve to be
**** talked to.
The nerve you have
To say I don’t respect you
Making me feel so bad

----

Let it consume me.
Destroy the little left in me.
Let it Come Like a tornado .
A furious hurricane .
I don’t care , what’s there to look forward for.
I’m so unhappy and keep on finding more reasons to

----

Untitled
Why
Did you Do this to me.
Damage me badly.
I repeat over & over.
Same Vocals.
Why
Did You Hurt me.
Why did you play with me.
Why didn’t you notice how this was affecting me.
Why
Weren’t you respectful.
Take advantage
Take me for granted .
Why
Did You convince me.
To be kissing friends knowing I had feelings for you.
Did

---

Forever now
I’m doubting
More than I ever have.
Wondering about the
Little loyalty you carry.
What’s going to happen
To that speck .
You’ve never been honest.
Now I’m worried.
Since I avoided you that night
Which is something I never do but I copied you that night.
My point
My irrelevant lie
----
Untitled
I made a mistake.
So little that it’s not worth the hype
But you ,
You wait for days like these.
I Mess Up So Small
& you love to make it a big deal.
It’s your excuse to go

----
Untitled
Disgusted of Drug Abuse
When She Hurts Her mind Turns.
The tears that run down & The Trigger Is something he’d Said or done That’s led her to run .
Alone She Seeks & Returns.
She Uses Alone.
Responds to All calls & Texts.
You Were the switch
To intoxicate her body , Esch hits a risk . To breath less , For the body to not resist & Give Up .

----

Untitled
Disgusted of Drug Abuse
When She Hurts Her mind Turns.
The tears that run down & The Trigger Is something he’d Said or done That’s led her to run .
Alone She Seeks & Returns.
She Uses Alone.
Responds to All calls & Texts.
You Were the switch
To intoxicate her body , Esch hits a risk . To breath less , For the body to not resist & Give Up .

---


My depression is not progressing
I’m in such distress.
No mood to right Nomore .
I’m tired , Of not having power.
To leave & Move on From Everything That’s Overwhelming.
I’m hurting a lot.
People don’t see it.
It’s all in my head.
It’s insanity eating my brain .
I’ve been walking forever.
So many obstacles have crossed my path that’s delayed me.
Back trac
Le vintieme d'Avril couché sur l'herbelette,
Je vy, ce me sembloit, en dormant un chevreuil,
Qui ça, puis là, marchoit où le menoit son vueil,
Foulant les belles fleurs de mainte gambelette.


Une corne et une autre encore nouvellette
Enfloit son petit front, petit, mais plein d'orgueil
Comme un Soleil luisoit par les prets son bel oeil,
Et un carcan pendoit sus sa gorge douillette.


Si tost que je le vy, je voulu courre après,
Et lui qui m'avisa print sa course es forés,
Où se moquant de moi, ne me voulut attendre.


Mais en suivant son trac, je ne m'avisay pas
D'un piege entre les fleurs, qui me lia mes pas,
Et voulant prendre autry moimesme me fis prendre.
Le bruit de ton aiguille et celui de ma plume

Sont le silence d'or dont on parla d'argent.

Ah ! cessons de nous plaindre, insensés que nous fûmes

Et travaillons tranquillement au nez des gens !


Quant à souffrir, quant à mourir, c'est nos affaires

Ou plutôt celles des tocs tocs et des tic tacs

De la pendule en garni dont la voix sévère

Voudrait persévérer à nous donner le trac


De mourir le premier ou le dernier. Qu'importe,

Si l'on doit, ô mon Dieu, se revoir à jamais ?

Qu'importe la pendule et notre vie, ô Mort,

Ce n'est plus nous que l'ennui de tant vivre effraye !
Ken Pepiton Apr 10
Take a day, call it
typical,
fit to a pattern, a type
Dear reader,
this is raw material, you know now,
my left brain, my emmissary
who kens these qwerty key patternings,

as earlier my kind kenned a wedge,

as a side seen point, we ken the twist,
as we see it wind done, watching
calling what are you called?
whspinnliss-t-en-d
I am
called ken, I think I know that means
knowing meaning is amean thing to be
alone, I mean
nothing.

In the wind, I mean every thing.

I can show you, use my vision.
Plain to see how all things wind
around a point in time, when
a possibly fruitful branch.
bends as all the seeds could be,
wannabe, oughtabes,
join the puppy dance, we smile
we feel we know, the metaphor,
a version as real as any
ever
we see, the point protruding from
the xylemphylum flow,
feels just, as just yoostabe commonly
said, just wrong, not evil, only
not wholly right,
yesees, yesers, yesterday, we all may

recall to the point, intended, as this
never ending typical day
beyond the dammed walls and rivers,
mnemonic, goad, to gitchergoat,
rile the little devil
into a rage, and blame the dame,
eee, e-qual e-quit
I-ran-I, ih?
see he run, we made peace, like
pouring cold water to
the wicked witches in the west,
all formed on the pattern projected,
read it, in the letters, Persians and Medes,
Law, these scriptures once in stone,
in stone it lives,
ever after.

So it is written so it is done, Yul Brenner,
macho-man, side-trac static, filter with a flick
my man, virtual reality is vwi-rrrorreee

I for got. Oops, Oriented Pe'pl'ish. Spir't.

These types of interupts during the holiest
times, when stars all form point to patterns
you heard imagined in stories no one told you,
you made it all up, you, right, dear reader,
a amusement, silliness, as it was, at first,
Silli me, I see, I was made for this,
the left ignores the messy room,
and delights in challenging Spelchek in many
guises, all jinn enginearering as we sort
things out, sift the silt to find
flecks,
wee tiny webits, ambits and qubits measuring
up.
Look

was there an imaginary war, and
the good guys got their butts kicked?  
Either there or their, eh,

Lefty, is holding me to the line,
met in the median, we parllevous
us a pallaver, and verily
as a man of the first kind, we're you.
Virtue flows, from and to, alternating
currency, wi-ro i-
Tesla's reply to a memo posted
in this bubble, ah
rhet, rhetoric, rhea-tric, slap clap
to the brow, {that's one, too}
wow, since Teddy Ruxpin,
Worlds of Wonder, dare me, make it
darker.

Coen, Cohen, Koan - here I am. heneni
I am Sam,
from Green Eggs and Ham,
the gurgle in the gut is the greeting
Activa colonies use,
a salute, preparatory to a fibroushite
is real light, to spark
a thought,
ought that matter? thinks the thorn
to the tree.

Might I not reach as far as
any ever was, and be there,
waiting for you
to ***** up from down there,

and try to patent authority
to the door path,
set in stones no known system can maintain
prior to the reconnection,
soul to spirit,
with a joint venture equal supported,
merest of attention, tiny qua qual quant
ant-tenae, getitgotit ping ping ping

A whistlee scree ee eee on a ship,
a grey-you-see battleship grey,
signal to attend, hearken, listen up,

***** ups, we got a box of SAE nuts
Just one.
{superflous questions are
spir'ts of nonsense, that peacemakers
hold in utter *******, the real deal
gimped out and shut up, sick
and tired of being awake.

Sleeping dogs and lions and dragons,
all are allowed to lie.
Peplish, in a word. we nullify the effect}

We make it up, then we enter-spir'ts entra
tainment contain a casting forth
of flavors and char-acting traits.
as when cheffing jeffe's greasy spags,
gentle reverse stir, see,
like a drain in the floor of a sportsclub
in Alice Springs,
{Mar 75}

reverse stir, let us catch the first loose
noodle, using the spoon you done
the gentle spin reversal move with,
see, the noodles in the boiling, slightly
briny bubbling water, all little clusters
of three, two alike and one way bigger,

"let it go" Y'load 16 tons, and what do you get?"

You learn, to sing songs your grandpa
had reasons to sing,
not rational reasons, irrational design
reasons to believe,
this can't be all there is, it was 1965.

Dead center set for highschool angst
with blobs and werewolves and vampires
all sets set to then as now,
as if,
these are those same good old days,-
frankly means nada to me, clearly
you see means
what I seem to say as you gulp entire
lines as reasons to let the letters be
see
if we do agree, is more fun, I shall explain fun,
later, be-ware, accept the token crumb,
cookie related allusion, not path taken

tread lightly, when walking the edge
that did the dividing, soul from spirit, I
dare say, no doubt, the first
tool users, were superfluous, once.

Spir'ts of such as survived in story,
those are with us to this day, yes,
we get these clear everybody knows signals,
circa Eisenhauer, beginning frame, true, man
show us where we were warned, and knew
things are complex indust-try try war no more,
there
is a null set now, and in the reasoning
acknowledging KJV Is-ai-aha, filled with jokes.

E.G. Golden Emarauds
AI ai, Big us, Gus, the Dodge Ram,
competition orange,
transforms into Uncle Richard, the telecom guy
who refused to fly,
Gus got us where we went, after those
runnin' and gunnin' days,
with the Barbie Doll, in her prime,
I saw her the other day,
time's been kind, I'll say, this story has sets
of sets peplishared winds of wonder then…

we were, and I was Ok and you were Okeh,
and we agreed, really agreed on the word,
Okay means that.
O'que, you can, you may as well,
just
say what you mean I am not alienable from.
Now, what?
April 502 common conscience novel event lego'd

— The End —