"thses" poems
From beauty to rage my heart could go either way with this endless pain,
*I create, I predict and visualize truth and history
When I paint thses pictures
When write those letters
Maybe then life will feel just a bit better without the flames of volcano time
I want perfect skies and beautiful dreams that'll make me cry inside for life, for love I want more memories to unfold and change into a fantasy of two
It gotta be real time and this
happiness outta come through in rebirth
In this , I still love you
From beauty to rage my heart could go either way with this endless pain,
It's not okay
I'm not okay
But still I strive for the gorly days
Without the love I can't repair without you
chaos ravings rage struggles within me
I can't manage
So don't reply
Because of beauty and rage
My heart isn't so easy to be loved.*
May 21, 2015
May 21, 2015 at 6:15 PM UTC
aged 14 they took me to this place
first thoughts when they took me
i was going to my grave
needles from which id never awake
police took me fully restained
i walked though the door
what **** i aint mad
you got this wrong
its normal what these voices are saying
now
im nursed in my room
vallys and olazapine
daze and confused
every bit of energy
is to fight and refuse
now im thinking
all day how am i getting back
i need my fix
from four days
i told them openup
the
window and second floor dow
n dropped to knees
now im struggling now
how am i gunna wal
k i need to sit down
thats the thing
about my frst time each voice of this psychosis there was nothing
that was wrong with me
n my thoughts were sound
Enter
You sent
still not understanding
but their circling
around aint taking thses ******* meds
are they ******* mad im sane im sane
******* listen
i aint being ******* restarined
first guy that tries
i wont hestate
i have a shard of glass
i was hoping to save
Enter
You sent
now their surrounding
me
now and its all getting tense
no idea which way to face now
then boom down
injection,s placed
room spinning out
i'm losing focus
the voices are easing but never will they leave one eye open one eye shut
in to the deepest endless sleep im falling i'm falling waking up nightmares
i'm waking up
in cold sweats overwhelmed with stress without warning
Apr 1, 2022
Apr 1, 2022 at 6:55 PM UTC
Dear Readers, thses are my few old memories of Calcutta from my early childhood days, after having reached the milestone on the road side reading 77. Hope you like it ! Best wishes, - Raj, New Delhi.
REMINISCENCE OF A SENIOR SEPTUAGENARIAN
I was born in the early forties during those black and
white days,
When those big old valve radios and gramophones
records played.
The British flag was flying over Calcutta, the city of
my birth.
That first old capital of British India with its horse
and buggy, crowded buses, and tram cars.
The main streets got washed with water hoses from
high pressured hydrants every morning,
And the lamplighter with his ladder lighted the
street gas lights every evening.
Radiograms were a status symbol, and transistor
radios had come decades later.
With rickshaws pulled manually by poor old
rickshaw pullers!
Juke Box played popular songs (during our school
days in the fifties) in ice cream parlors.
Whoever even thought of a TV or a mobile phone,
during those happy hours!
For the Bongs the theatres of north Calcutta was a
classical source of entertainment.
Eye ball contact was meaningful with a hug and a
hand shake, - life remained fully extroverted.
Unlike our present highly advanced Corona days!
No wonder I love that great old South Indian serial
titled the ‘Malgudi Days’!
Like our old songs, those golden days shall forever
remain cherished and nostalgic;
And as a part of a senior citizen’s waking dream!
Now please smile, take a selfie with your I-phone,
and go to sleep!
-Raj Nandy, New Delhi.
May 27, 2020
May 27, 2020 at 3:19 AM UTC