my hair is falling out more--
i don't quite understand why.
could it be the food I've been eating--
or lack thereof.
am i pulling too ******* my ponytails--
or yanking too tightly while twisting my braids.
can it be the stress of my final days of school--
or all the assignments still marked in red.
possibly the ache in my heart for him--
or the rage simmering in my chest.
maybe it's simply symptoms of ***--
or just my mind pressing buttons at random.
would it be because of my anxiety flowing over--
or the jitters from my morning cup of coffee.
funny if I've been tearing at my scalp in my sleep--
or clawing the demons from my dreams.

thanks for everything

for communicating your issues
in a stable manner
for being the face of self-growth
no matter what
for respecting my time
for valuing me

and they say
that sarcasm doesn't translate well over text
but what does it matter
when your whole life is a ******* joke

and this push and pull *******
taking energy away from me
it's not your eccentric personality
it's your ******* BPD

now my hair is falling out
i wonder where it's going
maybe if i search for it
i'll find myself again

you're not happier
but i'll be
cause i run off of spite
and whatever you say im not--
that's what i'll be