Wutsa matter wit you?
Whirr you frumm?
You from summ furren country?
Cain’t you tawk better den at?
Murruhkunz doan tawk Inglush lie cat.
We talk good Inglush. We tawk da bess Inglush.
Ain’t nobody tawk better den us.
Irregardless of whut kine uh furriner you are
You could not tawk so ignernt.
It’s a insult tah good Murrukuhns tawkin lie cat.
You should be imburrst to tawk ataway in public.
Should be ashaymt uh yerself.

Yenno, peepo c’n perject thur ignernce
’N thur lack intelluhgunce so easy.
They jess open up thur mouths
’N let the dumbness fall out
’N thur it is, fer alll to see.
Yude thank they’d realize what dumshits they are
’N not let thur mouths write checks
Thur butts cain’t cover.
But, no. They’s flappin’ thur yaps an babblin’
‘Bout nothin’ at all, ’n actin’ the pure fool
Lack thur mamas din teach them nuthin.
Well, nuthin’ good, at lease.
Me, muhseff, I thank sumbuddy
Shoulda kicked thur butts
From here ta Sundee.

But, thass jess me.
I know thurs a buncha bleedin’ heart libralls out thur
That wanna let peepo get by with crap jess ‘cause
Sumbuddy is a Niger er ‘cause they’s Messcun
Er sum kinda ******* heathen er ‘sump’n,
But I thank thass jess wrong.
Peepo gotta talk good jess to respeck the flag
’N God n’ country. Or go home.
Yeah, go on back to whatever Godless place
You ’n your race ’n yer ideas is okay.
We rilly doan need ‘em here.
We’s good, God fearing’ peepo and hard working too.
So, if that ain’t you, *** on yer camel ’n ride
Back tah whurever you cumm frumm
Till you c’n tawk good Iinglush lack decent fokes.

One  fateful day in a cave made of rock,

lived a camel named Humphrey Cornelius Tawk.

His **** was supreme, his fur was quite green,

sitting on a throne in that cave made of rock.

He huffed and he puffed, and he snorted in displeasure

as he looked upon his vast mountain of treasure.

"Oh, huff!" he exclaimed at the cup that's brand-new,

"Oh no" he said loudly "It just will not do."

Humphrey Cornelius just wanted more,

He wanted more 'till it covered the floor,

and it reached to the sky and it touched lands of lore.

No he'd never be happy 'till it stretched to the moon,

and became more majestic than the greatest sand dunes.

And so he sat waiting on his meager stack,

until someone brought him the treasure he lacked.

And he waited, and waited, and waited some more,

and the pile continued to sit by the door.

Then realization dawned in his head,

this waiting he was doing was as good as stapling bread!

So the camel known as Humphrey Cornelius Tawk,

looked out of the cave, and he began to walk.