Cloudy days always get to me to be honest. The sun shining but still chilling my heart right in the core. I Always dreamed of finding that special woman in my life and now I ask myself have I found her? It's like the loneliness is finally gone like a light at the end of the tunnel. There are nights and days where I ask myself why me of all people in the world but no matter what I ain't planning to lose you because you made an impact more then a friend. I feel comfort I feel love I feel warmth conning from your soul and I don't ever want it to end . We both have big dreams and big ideas and some don't go as planned but it's all part of the thrill all part of the journey. There are days where you leave me speechless without words and days smilling like a kid with a new toy. Baby your one of a kind like a shooting star each one is different but of all I only want one specfic star. Heh who knows what would happen in the future but it's a journey I want to share with you

your jacket stays on the shelf with the others i own
and the braclet you gave me stays in the drawer with the phone
i can't recall the sound of your voice but i wish too
i remember those specfic things about you; you were always scared of the flu
oh how you'd laugh and smile every time i said something absurd
do you remember one of our first walks where we had named that bird?
i distrinctly remember the way you looked at me
you had me under a spell, i was far from free
you loved me with everything you had
and you never knowingly let me be sad
your frequent kisses would wear me out
but i miss them without a doubt
indeed, i do miss you very much now
but the person you've become...the dramatic change...i don't understand how

I think of love in
terms of distance.
I look at life as a
motorbike journey.
I've never bought a
second console controller.
I know solitude with
the same warm
familiarity as my
father's laughter.
I'm a go-it-alone man
in the age of teamwork.
And it isn't working anymore
like it used to did.

I wish I could lay my head
gently on your shoulder
and explain how the
suffering never seems to end
or how the breaks are
still broken and I'm never
actually on the mend.
I wish I could open up myself
and bleed out toward healthy
but instead I hide the pain
and become accustomed to
always playing pretend.
And it's now all broken links
on chains that no longer bend.

One day I won't wake up
and the choices will no longer
be mine to make about
where I go and what I am.
I hope I learned to love you
like you need and deserve
and I hope that...****.
I hope, little guy
that I told you
I said the words
because I mean them.
I am insubstantial
and meaningless
in my specfic silence
unsaid as a life story