I don't know how much more I can take. I spend all my days smiling but all my nights crying. Every day it gets harder and harder to mask the pain the wells inside me. I walk around every day like my life is so great when really, I know that I'm just a huge mistake. People yell at everything I do. Everyone pushes me away or pulls themselves away. Everyone walks away from me. I care so much for others and I just get left out in the dust like a piece of trash. I don't even know if it's worth it to stick around anymore. I mean why should I? It's not like anyone would notice if I was gone anyways. I'm "too nice" appearently. Well guess what? I'm the way I am because I never want people to feel the pain that I'm in. I never want anyone to feel left out or unloved the way I do every single **** day of my life. I never want people to feel like they arn't really wanted or appricated. Whether it be in the classroom, on the court, where ever. Everone has a right to know that they are loved and cared about. I walk around all day and my eyes sting because I'm fighting back tears. Yet no one notices. For once it'd be so nice for someone not believe me when I tell them I'm okay. Sometiems I really want to admit it, but I just can't. I don't want to show that I'm weak. I have so many people I have to be strong for. I feel as if the weight of the world is resting on my shoulders and every day it weighs me down more and more. Every day it becomes more and more of a struggle to even get out of bed. Why should I get up to go walk around in a place where I'm not even wanted or appricated? Why do anything at all anymore? Why can't I just...not?

I smile whenever i recall
special moments we have had
walking always hand in hand
through the good times and the bad
\sometiems i think it is a dream
the love which you gave me, can't exist
but then when you are in my arms
there's no mistake in it's purity
\whether i'm with you or far away
my thoughts are always drawn to you
like a compass needle pointing north
to a love much more than true
\of all the people on this earth
how lucky can a person be
to have a love like you
with whom to share eternity

I'm not a perfect girl, my hair doesn't always stay in place
I have scars on my body and bumps on my face
I eat all the wrong foods and don't always make my bed
And the things people say may sometiems go to my head

I laugh a bit too loud and talk a bit too much
I'm constantly making mistakes but hell, life is rough
I have a lot of probelms, that I don't know how to solve
And my friends always find a way to get themselves involved

I yell and I scream and I shout when I'm mad
I cry myself to sleep all the nights that I'm sad
I make stupid jokes only me and my friends get
And spend my spare time trying to forget

All the mean things that people say and do
Having a conversation in my head, wondering if it's true

They stand in line awaiting  my  fall
But confidently  I  arise with my flaws and all

wisht that a sound could represent something other than a friction, a vibraton,


sometiems the keys click

and sometimes they entertain lifetsyles

how come?

I don't know