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MetaVerse Oct 8
There once was a sneezer named Rose
Who'd sneeze to the tips of her toes.
    She once sneezed so heinous
    She puked out her ****
And blew out her brains through her nose.
A fartle is a little fa.rt,
A tiny tu.shy teaser.
A puff of air, a piece of art,
An itsy sphincter sneezer.
brandon nagley Jun 2015
Defective detectives
Eyes as gluttons
Maketh wishes outta naught
Giveth something for nothing.
Diamond's as peeper's
Sneezer's sneeze hard
Pounding their brains
To their lips that speaketh lies
So enlarged!!!
Jude kyrie Mar 2019
There's a place hidden  inside of  us all,
we keep it  to  ourselves so that no one  can see it.
You see It contains all  of the  secrets
that the  heart contains.
Whenever it is seen by another  person
we lose our control,we lose our Hearts.
It has happened to me just. Once.
Only  once.

She was a cop
well not really
a hostage negotiator
the term I think is first responder.
I was sat on the edge of a high rise.
Twenty-six storey high building  
the people below in the far away  street
looked like ants.
But I felt like one.
I wanted to end it all
and dive into  oblivion.

Sure I had a gun
but it was not to use  on someone else
it was for my last resort.
That's when she appeared
about  ten feet behind me.
She had a kind Consolation about  her.
Tell me it's not about  a woman  she said.
How  did she know that.

It's my wife she's leaving  me
taking the kids.
Why she asked.
Because  she has found someone  
she loves  more  than me.

She pulled  a beer out of  her purse.
Want to share my last beer she asked.
OK but you have  to sit on the Ledge With me .
She did
oh my god she was pretty for a cop.
Can I have you put the gun away she said.
It was my last resort but I gave it to her.
She joined me on the ledge

We cracked open her last beer.
She said its OK
my husband left  me he
said I was a workaholic
It's true I am

I looked at her eyes they were beautiful
He must of been crazy I said.
She smiled.
Come down with me
she purred back to ground zero.
Only if you will have a date with Me
She smiled
so if I date you you won't  **** yourself.
I I guess so.
OK we will do it
one date
Promise
Yes I promise.

I followed  her  downstairs
the cops grabbed me.
And I knew
she had played me like a stradivarius.

I got out out of jail six months  later
It was ok
Three hots and a cot.
A nice guy shared my cell.
No one tried to *** **** me.  
When I was outside  the gate
A car pulled  up.
It was my cop.
The one who  shared  her last beer.
I said what the **** do you want.
You just got me six months in the sneezer

She smiled  that beautiful  smile of hers.
Did you  learn anything in there.
Yes I learned not to trust Beautiful lady cops
She said I am here aren't I.
Yes, you are why?
You wanted a date
And I promised you one date right.

Yes you did.
Well take me on one.
We went for dinner
It was great she was so great.
She looked at me
Have you got over your wife leaving.
Yes I have
We shouldn't have  been together  really
It was for the kids.
OK do you want to see me again.
I whispered  yes I do you are lovely.

Two years  later.


Our second  child was born.
She will be as beautiful as her mother I hope.
My kids come to us half the time we got joint custody.
I got work as fireman.

I sit in my chair  some nights
and just look at her
She saved my life.
She shared her last beer with me.
And you know
what they say.
If you save Somebody's life.
They belong to you.
Be careful
When you fix someone
That is broken
They will belong  to you
Whit Howland Feb 17
Tweezers
buzz
"butterfingers"

and bulbous sneezer
that is touched
by a feather

to make it
sneeze
and tickle

the funnybone
Another foray into childrens poetry

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