buy me on the black market like the instability I am.
watch me hurtle through negative space backwards,
the planet-wide catastrophe of a sun-sized storm in me.
Call me Carbon-14.
it’s the latest piece of my galaxy-sized identity, another chemical
small enough to wage nuclear war.
you’re witnessing my radioactive decay,
the deterioration of everything I used to be into
everything I might be,
a kind of reaction that happens when one of my ‘downs’
becomes an ‘up,’
no aces up my sleeves or full houses of face cards in spades,
but I’ve got straight sevens,
protons neutrons electrons, carbon to nitrogen.
beta decay, the mass production of passive procrastination;
second in command, sidekick sidetracking heroes.
Call me Nitrogen standard 14.
watch me decay into the air that you breathe,
seventh most common gas in the Milky Way galaxy,
keeping things fresh and stainless like my steel armor,
try and make me combust but I’m fireproof, bulletproof,
balanced and on my toes in a defensive position,
fists raised for the fight that you’re going to put up.
my axis is more stable than yours. step into the rings of saturn,
ring the bells to start the rounds, champion takes home the stars,
wraps orion’s belt around their waist and buckles it tight with nuclear waste.
everyone loves an underdog story, but only when they know,
positively, that the underdog will win.
with you and me, it’s a 50/50 on who exactly has the upper hand
and who exactly is going to win, but I’ll make bets with the elements around me,
the carbon that I used to be hashing out 20’s and oxygen
claiming she’s not one for gambling.
baby, you’re in my lungs, you’re in my corner of the ring.
she’ll slip in a 50 like my chances, and I’ll pretend that I don’t notice.
phosphorus is too fiery to root for me,
he’s more of a heavyweight believer than me.
Call me contagious
when my knuckles bloom across your jaw and knock away
all of your sensibility, stability, bruises like moons
as the mirror shatters every reflection of who I used to be.
Call me Carbon-14, but know that I am radioactive,
actively changing, reigning champion of breaking perceptions,
and you’re just the impression of the death that I’m carbon-dating.

Enclosed clock, I was held, every round had a cell,
Second hand, handsome hell, spinning in a clockwise shell.
Steady sound had me wrapped around a single finger.
As it poured through the years, seeped and formed single tears,
Distilled nightmare as they got clearly confused.
And time turns us to poison, so we'll drink and divide.
For all those souls that had lifted from bodies that fear heights.
We never knew we could float, so we just stayed here, we'd lie,
On the ground that fell victim to an apple.
It created a law, a theory of sinking,
and how there'd be falling after the lifting.

Every time you go up, you can fall further down,
So welcome to the reality: We're stuck here on the ground.
I mean, one day it slides and all clicks in to place,
a moment of clarity to the 'upper class' race:
We're no further than the ones still depending on grace,
hoping one day that something can save us.

We're all waiting now, for that moment of conclusion,
A sidetracking flurry of false word pollution,
And in all that screaming, smoke and confusion;
A camera will gain a new angle.

The screens will all flicker, and truth will be aired,
What our existence had built up to, the words we all fear:
You are now that apple.

I've been at
your beck & call
when all you wanted
was for me to fall
I picked you up
again and again
as you watched me
crawl, break & bend
For you
it was never enough
I couldn't carry it all
Like I'm nothing but tough
...as if your flaws were my own
the weight of you crushes
right down to my bones
I may be alone
Only my thoughts
to set me free
The comfort I have is
knowing me
Knowing exactly who I am
seeing through everything
helps me to understand
I gotta get back to me
Focus on what's at hand
Disappointment happens sidetracking
Chasing storms in the sand