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bukalah samudra putihmu untuk sepenggal bayangan hitam ini
Biarlah ia arungi pusaran ombak dahagamu
Bawakan  salam duka bahwa aku penuh luka
Luka, yang ku balut sepenggal bayangan hitam itu.

lukislah doa di pundak bayang hitam
Biarpun itu kelam akan ku beri salam
Akulah lukamu, di alam
bukalah putihmu untuk sepenggal bayang hitam ini...
is there nights still exist..
and helpless cries..
i always remember the part of missing stories...
i slept with dry eyes..

as the sun sets in the sky..
my hopes go along with it..
everything’s seem leaden in solemn..
until i’m alone again without you come into my night..

i guess i should be thankful...
at least we have one thing in common..
all i think of is you..
and i know that you do the same too..

when moon's climb in the leaden night slowly...
i can see your face figure in the stars..
don't you know that  i’m always  thinking of you..
i wish you’d think of me too..

if i wonder how this will work..
when you think of nothing but,
yourself,  your poems,  your life
and i can’t help but love the way you telling it into the poems..

but maybe this what the fate is..
a twisted series of two soul and mind's fused..
and maybe i’m destined..
to be the victim of my feelings ..

but how can i blame the fate..?
for something that i have control over...
i know you don’t thinking the same as mine..
and i know i’ve fallen too deep into my imagination of your figure..

you have them lined up..
just another notch on your belt..
am i the fool...?
am i the one who fell...?
but i definitely don't  mind at all..

you twist my yearning around your sincerity...
and your lies around my words..
you’re the definition of beauty..
horror, pain, desire  and love...

should i run...?
should i give up..?
sometimes i wish i could just sleep...
or  never get  wake up when i was dream of you..*

┈┈┈┈┈»̶·̵̭̌✽✽·̵̭̌«̶  ƦУ  »̶·̵̭̌✽✽·̵̭̌«̶┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

apakah masih ada bentuk malam itu.. .
dan ketidak berdayaan sebuah tangisan...
masih teringat aku akan sepenggal kisah yang hilang itu..
saat kuterpulasi dengan mata yang kering..

bak mentari yang tebenam dilangit..
begitupun keinginanku yang melaju turut..
segalanya tampak kelam dan hening..
hiingga aku sendiri tanpa engkau singgahi malamku..

harus kusyukuri..
setidaknya kita memiliki satu kesamaan ..
aku mengenangmu  ..
dan kutahu bahwa engkau melakukan hal yang sama ..

saat rembulan mendaki malam kelam perlahan ...
aku dapat melihat gambar wajahmu diantara bintang ..
tahukah kamu bahwa aku selalu mengenangmu ..

...... dang... why i should made two ver for my poems anyway.. lol.. just writing...
i suspect the most we can hope for...
and it's no small hope,  is that we never give up...
that we never stop giving ourselves permission to try to love and receive love...
I'm Phoenix Jan 2020
Sepenggal kata "hai" mampu mengurungkan niatku untuk mundur.
aku memang selemah ini

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