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mike Dec 2013
your father is a morbid man puddy. .. . but morbid can be good if you accept it...
..how can it be good?idunnoimnotmakinganysense............   ..  ..    .well.   i guess if youre in the right mood or in the right setting.(i pictured people. a woman mainly. with dark hair. and everyone had glasses of red wine and were laughing in a short hysterical way. and i realize these people arent representations of people ive seen act like this, theyre representations of me. i kno that feeling which makes that laugh. when hearing stories or seeing pictures or videos of people dying suddenly or getting tortured and the abuser maybe dismembering himself or herself after or committing an interesting suicide which we love to hear about and the sickening brutality and pain and fear and cringing you feel is instantly replaced with a swift too swift and sharp laughter. and these stories are real, otherwise its just silliness or boys being boys with their sick imaginations and saying it just for attention or to be funny or weird.. and we all might question ourselves slightly but either Time or Exposure to the Wicked World or most likely the validation of our indecencies with everybody else's  because its a whole room laughing lets us feel better about it each time but then more ashamed of our withering virtue until we forget. and something to understand from the remark "but either Time or Exposure to the Wicked World or most likely the validation of our indecencies" ad its there is no difference in this matter between the options 2 and 3 because we are the Wicked World. and all 3 are just things we waste. and if not laughing sharplyand loud and insane maybe some of us are at least being entertained while wailing in a definite cringe or exasperation or i dont kno but it is blended with the jovial air of the room. and people and family members laugh with and comfort and joke with eachother like a pride or a flock or any group of animals showing their young 'here.its ok.its an apple. you can touch it. it wont hurt you. its our food.' but we say "c'mere, the foundation of this world and all its agony will rip you apart, so here, learn how to find joy in it otherwise youll be too effected and will need to be discarded from normal happy people who kno their happiness comes first. because thats how we work as people and as a group. now here, have a drink. we pretend it helps and seek it out against our better judgment because we dont want to exist because weve become nothing in place of the wide range of terrible emotions we should experience when seeing the world for what it is.. ourselves most of all." and i guess that is what i pictured. the average happy people. family people. nice house and aunts and christmas people. and i kno im biased but nothing in this imagery matters. i was supposed to capture just the thoughts which i actually spoke to myself or my dog or whoever but now i have a brick-sized moving picture of my interpretation of happy family americans and other nations and just everybody.  but im no different. deep down anyway. deep down i am selfish and scared and come to the conclusion that the world is too complicated to be fixed and were too dumb to fix it reguardless and more so we are filled with souls which shift too often which we must only watch drift away moment to moment leaving us with many things but definitely a healthy amount of selfishness and, well, psychology i guess. we can figure our race and ourselves out as much as is possible and maybe even be right about some things, but knowing what drives us and feeling compelled are unrelated. too constant of a shift are we to be anything describable in correct terms and too unknown is the future to kno wut form our shift could bring us to. ..this is all absolute nonsense. i started rambling world. u gave me a mouth and i started rambling with it. i am definitely equal to a baby human or animal just shrieking into the world because, well just because its alive. so im a baby with no way of managing my existence other than making sounds because there are ears everywhere and peeing where i lay because its inside of me then it comes out because im unaware of my functions and we all send scattered unfinished nonsense to eachother and they send their own version of it back to the human and we manage to make ourselves sick and destroy our home and we're like an ant colony with no coordination.) and then something about laughter is sometimes a coverup for discomfort, so laughing from something morbid is not good. but then again it is still a laugh, and wut is the point system for laughing goodness and thats it the end jesus christ stop. *******. later. txt me wenever. have fun at ur party. i hope the weathers nice up north and not too cold cuz i kno u hate the cold. and im probably a boring **** saying cheezy things trying to act natural and nice and caring but i have my own agenda and am too unnaware to kno that and therefore will never be able to change for the better because i am a stupid human who thinks they have something figured out about every moment of every day but cant really do anything. cant see myself how others see me and cant feel the right way ong enough to accept it and constantly contradicting my conceptual and moral and spiritual universe and will never realize that 99.9 percent of the time my thoughts are of things like rocks and puffy things and shooting myself in the head and im hungry and **** that ***** and... im such a loser. if i dont start acting and living like a straight shooter my only outcome down the road will be lonelyness, heartbreak. regret. shame. and many other bad things where everything i love is either ded or has abandoned me because i am now a man and there is no such thing as abandoning a man but i am alone and want to die and i do. i **** myself and im ded. and there is no heaven and i have no soul and no one knows im ded and the passerbys and police officers and coroners who kno that im ded dont kno my name. so everyone i ever loved who havent loved me for years will die years down the road with families who love them and i will never cross their minds again. and i will deserve it. and i will pray for satan to devour my flesh and feel a demon inhabit my body along with my terror.
Danielle Rose Sep 2013
Panic kept my heart and adrenaline pumping
I told myself to never look back but the temptation was overcoming
When the realization hit that I had come so far
and could no longer see the start
beads of sweat shaped my brow
A physical confession of complete and utter fear
A psycological obstacle that rang loudly in my ears

I gazed at the steps willing my eyes to see the end
Itching for hope or someway to transcend
But reguardless of the vigorous time spent climbing
Into the heavens the staircase kept winding

My mind begged to cave
Desperate for an escape
From limb to limb my muscles twitching,tired,and shaken
I couldnt help the tears from flowing incessantly
While I searched longingly for some kind of reason or deep meaning to drive me

I dropped religion along the way
I pushed through the treachery of tongues leading
I threw my backpack over the rail so my possessions
couldnt weigh on me
I fought the false antedotes
I stopped blaming others
I grew to great heights yet still I wound up seated and flustered

Uncertainty haunted me
Leaving my head in my hands
In a world of illusion the next step is always difficult to determine
I looked back up to my challenge
Questioning the means
and learned that with enough curiousity
anything can be achieved
Solaces Oct 2016
Rogers Lason: Horse: Shy Raven..
At long last I can be at peace.. And my peace is not having peace.. I hunt this side of the world as 1 of 4.. I have not run into any of the other 3.. I must say, they must have something in common to me.. Reguardless, I will hunt the hellshadow.. Thats what I call them.. I have become part of an order that has hunted these nightmares throughout the ages.. This is my first entry into the Hyperion Archive..

Day 1, Year 1889, Month 10..

Weapons: 2x U.S. Revolver, Caliber .38, M1892
Helios transformmation
2X U.S. Revolver, Hyper automatic Leviathan wave series S.AWAY..
The hunt begins.
Danielle Rose Sep 2013
The surface of the water was placid
Reflections of Fall spotted this canvas in commencement
So excitingly colorful and vibrating with life  yet so still,cool,and welcoming
Inviting a storm
This tiny pond was willing to fight reguardless of the score
Well aware of the baited hooks and the illusions sold to implore
Tiny fins wave in unison
Fragile yet admirable all the same
Solaces Feb 2014
This is it.. On the otherside there will be a bridge.. Run across it and do not look back.. Run as fast as you can no matter what!

Once you reach the end of the bridge scream the chant! From there on I do not know what to tell you.. They are coming go!

As i cross over i see the bridge dad was talking about.. i run as fast as i can go.. a heavy fog begins to built with each running step.. there it is the end of the bridge! A huge beast is beyond the bridge and is waiting for me! It then takes a battle stance and waits for me.. at last the end of the bridge! the beast screams and leaps at me! I scream the chant reguardless! !!!! naidraug nogard esir!!!!

I FEEL STRANGE.. I SEE THINGS DIFFERENT.. I HEAR SOUNDS I HAVE NEVER HEARD.. THE BEAST IS BELOW ME NOW.. THE BEAST IS RUNNING AWAY FROM ME.. I SEE MY REFLECTION IN THE DARK WATERS BELOW THE BRIDGE.. I HAVE BECOME A DRAGON!
L Thor Pedersen Mar 2018
Enter the void...let'it drip like rubees from your lips,
succulent and'rich but WITHOUT joy....for in this place of flesh and bone...
we wait to be destroyed,
a realm of cold desolate depths and catacombs of stone carved steps...leading to'an ancient cavern..they call the void,
the sands of time are running wild, and'it seems that ive misplaced my mind,
I desperately try to remain a child, I keep dreaming ill awake and be fine,
sleep away and leave behind, this world and all it's hurt,
i hear it's pain PULSE and POUND in'a tumultuous sounding BURST,
I hunger and thirst for MORE reguardless of what it is,
its not enough if its not too much, indulge in every moment you live,
counting the days that ive wandered this maze in search of something to give,
just another night inside the void...fading faces of the evening whisper gently into my ear,
im filled with fright but ive got no choice,
aging traces of me leaving LIFT to the sky and disappear,
showers of sorrow and stinging silhouttes of fear, linger here...
inside the void.

— The End —