The bar  was empty .
The bartender like always made another run through making sure all was clean and in order.
When like some weird mental ninja she found someone sleeping in a booth.

The man seemed so peaceful lost in perfect drunken slumber.
So she did what any kind hearted soul who stumbled apon some sleeping drunk in a booth
would do.

Kicked the **** outta it and said.
Look ******* how many times have  I told you stop passing out here dont you have a *******
home!?

But this wasnt any regular drunken sleeping beuthy of a ******* .
It was everyones favorite drunken *******.
And the misspelling  madman of hello Gonzo.

Oh my lord someone  catch that donkey for he finds out Taylor Swift's in town.
Yes the kids went for a braindead bubblegum **** fest and  ended
up with nature show  or more like a donkey show  but what *******
hadnt been with Taylor Swift?

What the hell are you talking about.!
The barmaid said to me looking angry yet still there was that strange look of hey if this were a ****  something was about to happen.

Hey there Susan, Becky,Rebbeca whatever the hell your name is another round please.
Are you ******* nuts!
The woman seemed tense but I had to ask myself was this a trick question?

I thought long and hard yet stayed semi soft in thought that is get your mind outta the gutter ya perves.
Look miss lets not kid each other theres a reason im here besides the fact that im a drunk
that and im avoiding  the cops.
Cause duh!
No one would ever think to look for me in a bar.
Yeah you sit behind that bar looking at me asking  will that be all  but lets cut the crap.

The woman was silent  as I could tell there was a connection  on one of thoose
deep level's  like in one of thoose ******* romance books women read  
like the Notebook  yeah thanks Nicholas Sparks now women want you  to hang with em till they go senile and I like to usally leave after I   pay.

Not that I read that book.
What do ya think I am a ****** duh thats why they make movies.
It was for research only.
Well that and this chick I was trying to bang wanted to see it.
Look I had to go cause she was to young to go by herself.

Im kidding well kinda.
But enough with the foreplay hamsters.

Miss I  say we turn down the lights maybe put on some music have a couple cold one's.
You can serve cause you know after having a few drinks your not supposed
to operate heavy machinery.
Its a ******* bottle opener you idiot! she said.

Shh  I  said to this madien of the *****.
Yeah thats what grandad thought now look were he is?
He died ?
Yes he did and there isnt  a moment  I dont linger to hear him say
Hey **** for brains!
Get off your dead *** and get me a beer!

Wow he really sounds like a *****.
Yeah come to think of it he kinda was.
We sat there in silence togather deep in reflection yet not really cause it was
kinda dark and  everyone nothing refelcts in the dark  but some things
glow like condoms but thats enough about my glowstick.

Hey the barmaid asked.
Did he really die from using a bottle opener?
Well it was more of the semi truck's fault but if he hadnt of reached for that *******
he's probaly be here as we speak and I wouldnt be the only one.
Telling you you have a marvelous  set of *******.
Or annoying the **** outta you.

Look ****** I put up with annoying drunks everyday.
And when I say lastcall your cutting into my time.
So although you got nothing better to do  then drink your liver silly.
I wanna get the **** outta here.

So your saying you wanna go home maybe take a nice warm bath.
Walk around half naked call up your girlfriends wrestle and maybe make out.
While a strange demented man films the whole the thing or joins in cause  
im all about inprove acting  and filmaking.

It seemed this strange gatekeeper to the ***** wasnt a lover of the arts.
Cause befor you could whistle dixie while being spanked by a dwarf dressed as
Dolly Parton I was chased from the bar.

Cast into the cold depths of darkness and alone  it's okay.
it would'nt have worked out sure we coulda dabbled in the arts gotta a few thousand
hits off of a adult site really what romance doesnt start that way?

But me I was a  loner a cowboy who couldnt ride a horse  but hey someone has to break the ******* mold and besides  that's what cars are for.
So I was off but i'd see the barmaids face again  sure she had knocked me down
like a group of braindead teenie boppers would a security gaurd who stood
between them and Justin Bieber.

But are paths would cross again.
Duh im a drunk  and besides  it wasnt all a loss.
cause as she was pushing me out the door  I felt her ****.

See kids you always gotta look  on the brightside.

Untill next time stay crazy.      

Gonzo

The red gown
by
Jude Kyrie

The red gown
No longer
Clinging to the curves
Of a beautiful lady.
Dressed for the party.
Or
Catching the cascading lights
From a glitter ball at the dance.
Or
Hanging in a special place
Inside her closet.
Just waiting
for the next time.

The red gown
Now lay on top
of the open dumpster.
Catching moonlight
on the red sequins.
The only splash of color
in the monochrome
back alley.

The red gown.
Left unwanted
And forgotten.
On a snowy winters night.
Turning from red to white.
Absorbing all that once was.
A single snowflake
At a time

I carried a book.
My book was all of the things.  
I carried you with me dad.
In a book.
He was the biggest section of  the book.
When I get sad I pulled you out and began to reminisce.  
But I also carried what you did to me.
I carried the hair pulling
The name calling, slapping and punching.
As I lay awake at night, I seemed to have carried the nights with you.
The ones where I was locked in the basement
The ones where I got one piece of bread for the week
But I also carried the good times.
I carried the times where we went to the city and watched the stars.
The beautiful names you called me.
But when it got to be too much,
I packed him into the book, closed the cover, then packed the book.
I carried you with me dad
In a book.
I carried my sister.
Whitney I carried you
In a book.
This section jumped around.
It always started with
I loved you
Then I hated you.
But I always found a way to
Love you
Again.
As I laid awake at night
I thought about all the times you could have saved me
But you layed in bed with him
And disregarded
Everything that was happening to me
You disregarded me
You disregarded everything about me
But I always found a way to
Love you
Again.
But when it got to be too much,
I packed her into the book, closed the cover, then packed the book.
I carried you with me Whitney
In a book.
I carried a child.
I carried my child.
Even though she came to me
Out of hate.
I always did love
Her section.
She came to me in the darkest
Of times.
I was thankful that I got to hold you.
Even if it was just for a breathe.
If I could have named her it would have been
Rebbeca Lynne
I have and always did love her.
My sweet child.
But when it got to be too much,
I packed her into the book, closed the cover, then packed the book.
I carried you with me child.
In a book.
I carried an angel.
I carried my angel.
He came to me at the best times.
But he told me something
That I never wanted to hear.
I was told that in 24 days
I was to join him
In a world of peace
Of happiness
And of joy.
But in 23 days
I learned so much about myself
I learned how to escape.
But on the last day
I did not want to leave.
This place sounded so sweet
But I wanted to stay and learn.
So I ran.
I ran as far as I could from him.
At the end of the 24th day.
He still managed a way to find me.
But when it got to be too much,
I packed him into the book, closed the cover, then packed the book.
I carried you my angel.
In a book.
I carried the place.
This place was not like any other place.
Before I entered this place
I was told I would not carry anything from the past.
I was told this would be a place of peace
Of Happiness
And of Joy
But this place was not.
This place was a room.
With no lights.
With no sound.
Just a room.
I could not see 2 inches in front of me.
This place had no peace
No happiness
And no joy.
It was just a room.
But when it got to be too much,
I packed it into the book, closed the cover, then packed the book.
I carried the place.
I carried this book with me.
No matter where I went.
I carried it with me until the day I died.
This book can not be opened.
It can not be read.
But one day this book will find you.
And once you find it
You will join me in the basement
You will join me in the city.
You will join me in the love
And in the hate.
You join me on the run.
You will join me in a breathe.
You will join me in the place.
But you will never read this book.
But when it gets to be too much,
You can try to close the cover, then pack the book.
But you will never carry this book
The book I carried.