If you don't want to know,
then just don't ask
'cause I won't lie
and say I'm fine
while I sit and down a bottle of wine
I won't pretent
it's all ok
when all I do is run away
No, I'm not happy
Not joyous and free
I'm not at all where I want to be
Still looking for peace
so I continue to pray
for serenity, I hope it comes some day

standing within the thick warm fabric
in the bleak midwinter breeze..
no chill biting my bones this time..
the fever is settling within my violet veins..
i stare off into the distance,
looking at nothing in particular..
windchimes twinkling in the distance,
to the left and never heard again..
i close my eyes and let them rest a second..
i breathe in and exhale with parted lips..
hoping that when i open my eyes,
this will be only a bad dream..
but the ache still lives within every corner and crevice
within my beating heart..
an airplane crosses overhead,
blinking red and orange..
i thought it was a lantern,
the kind i wanted to release into the painted sky with you..
the lamp post shining a little too brightly,
the way it had once shown onto your moonlit face
when you were still with me..
when will you stop hating me?..
i ask myself every day you look away
but still tell me i'm yours..
what do you feel when you see me?..
surely it couldn't be the same things i do
when i see you..
i pretent you read these..
i pretend you know when i'm there..
i pretend you love me..
i pretend it doesn't still hurt..
i pretend you still stare..
when will this be over?..
i can't wait..
whether it'll be an ending or just the beginning,
i can't wait to know the truth..
for now i dance by myself..
for now i sing to no one..
for now i write to anyone who will listen..
for now i walk the same paths without you by my side to explore them..
for now i sigh with no one to feel them..
for now i cry with no one to hear it..
for now i live without you, and i'll just have to bear it..

Stalking your ex like the devil haunts a soul,
Sending texts and calling, filling up his  voice mail and filling his phone is your goal.
You say you are Christian, a good girl and praying for his well being,
Going to church and seeking His guidance.
Please let him go; he moved on and is in my loving arms.
I keep him safe and close in my warmth.
He tells me his secrets, we complete one another, let me assure you ... he wants no other.
Stop your ranting and calling him names; he doesn't answer, cause he is with me and I am his same.
He shares your immature words, he can't make you stop because you threaten to destroy his world.
Be silent and pray that God forgives you for causing so much pain.
Be still and repent, go on and pretent
That you are a good Christian girl.

It is just this space I need
place

place meant for me

place

sewn from nows
in taxi cabs
searching cross town
for chemistry

place

i've been placed
a piece
annotated
pretent

off the board
suspicious
of your likeness
being you