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Joe Bradley Jan 2014
The phone rings:
It doesn't work anymore.

Diazepam, Red wine, 6:30am, hip replacement,
Plunger, television, boxes of photos, carslberg, peroni,

The flush is broken on the toilet.
I've sat for 15 minutes.

Examination, xbox, unemployment, skunk,
Washing machine, dishwasher, dryer.

It's raining, Old towel and bucket
under the hole in the roof

Cat food, cod liver oil, mould, 8:45pm,
3pm, appointments, 12pm.
Laptop, silence, phone calls,
Toilet, bucket, bleach,
Oven cleaner, kitchen roll, dirt, carpet,
Television, Hoover,
Ashley Chapman Jun 2019
We start in Greek Street.
Not any night,
But the end,
A grand finale;
Last orders,
At the Coach & Horses,
Before the corporate boyz move in to whitewash,
Where inky Boho Jeffrey Bernard drank,
And Gary Dunnington, the actor, and his mates are on the ****.

Meanwhile, a mom runs her hands,
Though my strands.
'Tell me everything,' she enthuses,'about your hair.'
But there’s nothing to say:
I barely wash it,
Never brush it,
And only finger combe it.
But she carries on in my locks,
Then off to dinner with her bloke.

We head off to Trisha's at 57,
A lively basement heaven:
In energy, in noise, in smoke.
I chat with Mark.
Got his heart broke:
It’s hard
To sever those traumatic bonds,
Thick as pillar posts,
When love ***** up,
Goodbye, the cocktail of toxicity,
That had you on a high,
The ***, the texts, the tenderness,
And, oh, the bliss.

Kass, a boxer musician, comes
And shakes our hands.
He’s in Armani,
And says,
His eyes dark little raisins,
'I prefers a poet over a bruiser.'
And, 'I don’t fight no more,
If I did - so I don't bother -
I’d **** ‘em.

In the corner,
Two girls with dreamy eyes:
So I read ‘em love poems.

Then Jessica Appleby's head pops round the door.
We hug and then swap tales:
'I’m all messed up,' I tell her.
'What not her, the one you wrote that poem for.'
'My man,' she confides changing the subject,
'All crazy passion and wild *** for two months -
Then nothing.
Just fizzled out like it was never meant to be.'

She exits.

'You alright Gary?'
'Yeah, you?'
'Fine.'
But I don’t buy him a beer,
A bottle of Peroni is £5.
'No, it’s £3,' he says, 'if you pay cash.'
I head for the bar.
Three times I explain to the barman, it’s £3 cash.
'Who told you that?' he says slamming the bottle down.
'Gary,' I say defensively.
'Well, tell Gary, if he doesn’t shut the **** up,
He’ll be paying a fiver, too.'

A young American artist, Kirsty, starts talking to me.
She’s trying to get ahead in art,
And says, that when she was a kid,
On a blazing Tuscany night filled with stars,
She walked out onto a stone balustrade balcony,
And knew in that moment,
She was no longer her mom and dad,
But herself, Kirsty.

The boxer musician shoves a tall fellow hard against the wall,
The altercation,
Is over before it starts.

Kass gives me a wolfish smile.
Mark buys me a drink.
Kirsty goes to the toilet.
The corner girls have left.
Mark slips his stool.

Everyone is cleared from the yard,
Just Gary and I linger
With a feisty young bar lady,
Serving the Bohos of Soho.

Drinking in their pathos,
Exhaling in the shadows,
Mingling in their juices.
My ****** up heart beats
With the Bohos of Soho.
Ahhh, the Bohos of Soho keep many an hour.
The Bohos of Soho,
The Bohos of Soho,
The Bohos of Soho,
Have many lives,
The Bohos of Soho are a good seed.
You and I,
In Soho,
For last orders.
Now publiahed in Celine's Salon, Volume I, by Wordville, 2021.
Nat Lipstadt Dec 2023
sad fact and none truer,
despite my accumulation
of millions of trinkets,
and millions of lottery tickets,
useless word combines,
acres of scripted scripture
of scrumptious scarred
scribbles,
and dollars,

I boast not of my good fortune
for I am a waste not~want not
tykee type, no spendthrift me,
and my phone and writing tablet
date from the Paleo Age, technically,
and one’s batteries live in the
red and yellow light of the
dying lightening edge of the
OMGF,

1%

otherwise known as nearer to death experience.

carry chargers everywhere but my
batter usage habits have eroded my
charging life and happiness for us
a mere clean
green clean 20%

you see or maybe
you don’t,
my devices
have endured countless
drops and falls, just like
my body at this tender age,
and the male man ~~😵 female connectivity
of plug and plug hole are deformed,
bent so that charging is a struggle moderne,
a dance of avoidance of an earliest death

Living on the edge of 1%
changes a human, one thinks
constantly of the fragility of the
electric grid, and how the hell
we will charge all them unwanted
EV’s with insufficient charging stations,
not to mention all those spanking brand
new power plants we are rushing to build
NIMBY

(cmon, you can’t be unaware of this
contraction, for it is the guiding principle
of urban design, today)

anyway, my tablet is in the bathroom sink,
whose rigid porcelain angles allows for 
a conjoing  of the cord into that
flux capacitor hole to make tentative
kissy
kissy noises
and by the light of the
early morn,
said antique Generation 1 ipad
will be restored to usable status
for yet another brief moment
in time
and another
bad poem

this choring is a skill honed bendless endless
experimentation as to how
to insert a Peroni shaped (beer bottle,
(no,
not a Pony Man plug shape)
into a lightening squarish O, and witness the
miracle of ******* of
Yes! Yes! YES!
(thank you Steven Spielberg)
a semi functioning de-vice,

vice being the exactly right adjective

my mind is weird, true,
but I draw on my experience
to share with you the specialness
of being in the  elite,
them
1%

so you can be less envious.
you satisfied boors,
awakening refreshed after
eight hours sleep and a green light indicator
smugly informing you are a hoi peloi
member of the
100%ers

yes I’m done,
why does my software
keep asking me that?
Nat Lipstadt Dec 2023
sad fact and none truer,
despite my accumulation
of millions of trinkets,
and millions of lottery tickets,
useless word combines,
acres of scripted scripture
of scrumptious scarred
scribbles,
and dollars,

I boast not of my good fortune
for I am a waste not~want not
tykee type, no spendthrift me,
and my phone and writing tablet
date from the Paleo Age, technically,
and one’s batteries live in the
red and yellow light of the
dying lightening edge of the
OMGF,

1%

otherwise known as nearer to death experience.

carry chargers everywhere but my
batter usage habits have eroded my
charging life and happiness for us
a mere clean
green clean 20%

you see or maybe
you don’t,
my devices
have endured countless
drops and falls, just like
my body at this tender age,
and the male man ~~😵 female connectivity
of plug and plug hole are deformed,
bent so that charging is a struggle moderne,
a dance of avoidance of an earliest death

Living on the edge of 1%
changes a human, one thinks
constantly of the fragility of the
electric grid, and how the hell
we will charge all them unwanted
EV’s with insufficient charging stations,
not to mention all those spanking brand
new power plants we are rushing to build
NIMBY

(cmon, you can’t be unaware of this
contraction, for it is the guiding principle
of urban design, today)

anyway, my tablet is in the bathroom sink,
whose rigid porcelain angles allows for 
a conjoing  of the cord into that
flux capacitor hole to make tentative
kissy
kissy noises
and by the light of the
early morn,
said antique Generation 1 ipad
will be restored to usable status
for yet another brief moment
in time
and another
bad poem

this choring is a skill honed bendless endless
experimentation as to how
to insert a Peroni shaped
(beer bottle; no, not not a Pony Man plug shape)
into a lightening squarish O, and witness the
miracle of ******* of
Yes! Yes! YES!
(thank you Steven Spielberg))
a semi functioning de-vice,

vice being the exactly right adjective

my mind is weird, true,
but I draw on my experience
to share with you the specialness
of being in the  elite,
them
1%

so you can be less envious.
you satisfied boors,
awakening refreshed after
eight hours sleep and a green light indicator
smugly informing you are an overheated hoi peloi
member of the
100%ers

yes I’m done!
why does my software
keep asking me that?
Mateuš Conrad Feb 2018
it really requires something uncomfortable
to allow yourself to be: once again at
ease with one...
                  i knew it was going to be cold -
having sampled the morning air -
yet i persisted to hesitate whether just
a t-**** and hoodie would suffice...
                 walking up faircross avenue
i was making ****-jokes with regards how
my ego: is hardly the sigma of me -
            σ first it knows something -
                 to which ς replies: like hell you do...
the part of me that's "i" has been lost
for some time - the cyborg on the matter...
but then had to concede a point to σ first
claim... sure, bitter cold -
                      lobster pinching cold -
                      but beyond faircross avenue
and onto B1459 (chase cross road):
   a gush of warmth...
                         i figured: ah... the road that
had more traffic pass through it during the day
would be warmer at night:
    with the still moving traffic -
                all the gases from the combustion
engines - they seemed to remain clinging
   in a little greenhouse effect...
                  two roads adjacent and one had
the temperature of a polar bear's *******
   while the other had me thinking about
growing tomatoes...
                           so what was it going to be?
beer on the way back?
                 of course it was...
             only recently i've tampered with
anything but German / Belgian / Polish beer...
Italians of all people with their Peroni:
who would have thought...
            so i had the beer while trying not
to smoke a cigarette...
                      i finished the beer
    and then lit a cigarette...
                      the question imposed itself on me:
does a cigarette / beer taste better when
consumed simultaneously - or beer first
with a cigarette afterwards... ?
                     the latter...
                          but then that's unsurprising
given that a cigarette tastes the best
after a hefty meal...
                     i don't have what people say:
that's a very potent reality of exposing
the palette to hidden flavours...
    notably? who would have that after
the Peroni beer, and after having smoked
the cigarette: i'd be burping up an aftertaste
of hazelnuts!
Mateuš Conrad Jul 2022
the twin towers of smoke and fire: it only made it necessary for me to bring a mirror by peering into the river... up north: around the vicinity of Upminster in the village of Wennington; south of the river a tower in Bexley: at Bexleyheath... very ******* Lord Ring'y if you ask me... the gateway was opened... two pillars either side of the Thames... these are my parts... well... Wenningston is by no means in my imagination: i used to cycle through it... Upminster, Rainham... Cold-Harbour... the Thameside Nature reverse... the A13 motorway... Rainham landfill site... these are my parts... climate sceptics: wait until it come knocking on your door... and the Thai-"least affected" by monsoon season... i tried being a climate sceptic... i truly tried: sure sure... no problem... this **** is just normal... but there's also a beauty about it all... twin ******* towers of smoke... either side of the Thames... not really far apart geographically on the longitude lines... that's the beauty of England: the Greenwich mean-time... you're either an equatorial (latitude) sort person... or you're a longitude sort of person... i'm of the later persuasion: in terms of being fascinated... mind you: all innovations happen with longitude in mind... latitude is merely the north standing on its head... nothing more... and certain aesthetics of life... like... the further north you go... chances of insomnia during summer? probably high... vampirism during winter? also probably high.... but that image... i can't erase from my head... towers of smoke... and fire down below... one at Wennington and the other at Bexleyheath... with the view of: yonder! the pearl of the world that's London...

I.

there's something about the first 40cl of whiskey
you drink, smoking cigarettes...
finally... the heat-wave is concluding...
   there is moisture in the air...
during the heat-wave i could swear that
there was salt in the air:
by way of osmosis: water in my body:
the body that is however much water was being
drained out... sweated out...
during heat-waves: i swear... there is salt in the air...
tiny particles of salt...
                             elevated to atoms...
NaCl just bouncing around with the gases...
salt-gas... because it's impossible to breathe...
it's impossible to move... it's impossible think...
and you're sweating all the time...
the sky isn't blue: it's a tinge of blue: it's almost white...
the air isn't dry: it's hot-salty...
             and now? ah... almost like an ******...
i get my breath and my soul and my cognitive functions
back... proper...
and there's nothing quiet like the equilibrium:
hell! even the wind returned...
a cool breeze... too: best associated with the night...

i even managed to summon a ghost...
my bedroom: locked... then i was looking up "X"...
and this household gust (przeciag)
pushed open my bedroom door...
             "ghost" or no ghost... if i were to live in
an atheistic-materialism i'd write zilch...
nothing could be interesting: interesting at least in the sense
of keeping a narrative...
i'll mention "X" somewhere else...
   i'd just be regurgitating facts: i'd be a walking
trivia show... an encyclopedia... a walking: one of
those omnibus showcases of museum's
stalemates with dust and hoarding...
        40cl is the starting point:
perched on my windowsill looking into the night:
thinking about what i already know what
what i'm going to write about:
this section is the part where i thought about
thinking about writing... this is the part where
i thought about not-thinking: ergo... writing...
it's a momentum build-up...

II.

i'll get to "X" in a bit...
             but i just realised something...
you can't be an artist and raise a family... impossible...
i wish i tried... i did have a chance, one, at least two...
but with women i was always elsewhere...
i'm still always elsewhere:
i can give one 1 hour every month...
properly... the heat would not have allowed me
to **** anyway... plus... there's a 2 month delay
in my shift-payment...
funny... everyone else that signed up with the company
was given a self-employed "contract":
i was given an employee contract...
they spared me all the minor details and...
lucky me: i know what being self-employed is like:
self-taxing... all those forms...
              so i'll wait for the cold to come
and my libido to come back...
   perhaps other mammals get ***** when it's warm...
as a man... i prefer the ideas of night
and cold to get groovy... because:
if i didn't have a television: i'd probably invest
in a fire place: and whisper into the river secrets
of the soul and wind...
  as it would tell me the secrets of the earth...
and then we'd parade shadows of the death around...
or... i would invest in an aquarium
and ask for Poseidon to appear...
   but i couldn't possibly raise a family...
even right now... what am i doing?
    oh... this is a gem... anti-thesis pop music...
folk music...
            this band Faun, the song? Aufbruch...
i was cleaning the house today as asked:
yeah... it was seriously *****... i mopped the floors
and was shocked...
took a break and listened to the labourers
fixing my neighbour's garden: she finally installed
fake grass and managed to relieve herself
of the jungle... she even gave me a bottle of Peroni
to celebrate her happiness blah blah...
but i was listening to the labourers...
conversation? not so much:
most of it was: x, y & z are going to be at the pub
after work... blah blah this... blah that...
i started honing my hearing to the music
they were listening to...
    
                    ahem... compared to Faun's Aufbruch?
electronic... the artists are tools...
producer music types and typos...
electric voices: not even Kraftwerk sort...
mein gott: dies ist überscheiße!

point being... it felt terribly sleeping with women...
not the *******... the sleeping part...
i was the guy who needed to fall asleep
while listening to music... she was the type of girl
who wanted to fall asleep in silence...
already mismatching...
    and then... ugh... the numb left leg and torso...
falling asleep hugging her... then...
not hugging her... she hugging your back...
sleeping with someone is worse than ******* them...
impossible politics...
at least with cats is like: you're making my
uncomfortable... fair enough... i'll ******* leave then:
great! thanks for coming round in the first place:
but also thanks for ******* off!

hung-up... only because of the ***...
then again: i'm more solitary than it could be led
to believe...
           dim-witted conversations about... what?
prior to sleep? we're going to be talking about...
Walter Sickert paintings of "X"'s music...
or are we going to be talking about... gas bills?!
then we have nothing to talk about...
i try to "think": she might have introduced to me
In Extremo after an **** of Rammstein...
but i moved on into more folk regions...
i spent 2 years with Heidegger...
i spent a year and some with Kant...
              if i had invested in a woman and had children
with her... would i have?
would i currently be listening to Faun's Aufbruch?
sure... the prospect of "dying alone" is oh: oh! oh!
so scary... we live alone most of the time...

and i have a ******* cycling partner?!
as much as i loved squash and as much as i loved
rock climbing... hell... what's the best sport to do solo?
cycling... no lions in my vicinity:
ergo? no need to run...
i can do that 1 hour a month i get paid
to prove to myself: ******* hasn't distracted:
being of the generation
that still had to pass the social-stigmas of buying
magazines from shops rather than getting it
free online... Belgium was best...
even the women selling them didn't mind: scrutinise
teenage boys buying them: truly liberal times...

nothing English; PURITANICAL... *******...
that's why i never explored the "fancy ****"...
of *******... i always steralise myself
by turning the sound: hell... the whole medium of video...
i go back to the images...
and... it's most dressed women exposing cleavage...
or some thing: i mean: ha ha!
it's not like they don't do that already...
i set my boundaries... people can ******* and do their
kinks: whatever...
i once a reached a point where...
i was actually jerking off to Bronzino's:
Venus, Cupid, Folly and Time...
            what idiotic theory that men have a gateway
mechanism whereby they have to increase
their digestive potentials for ****...
for me? a ******* was very much unlike
a pornographic, filmed... *******...
i felt... cut in half... it was ****...
                   it sound great... but it was ****...
why? because of the two girls i only wanted...
the other just jumped on the bandwagon of being rejected
the last time i saw her!
   she was so adamant... i was like: o.k. fair enough...
and throughout... the one i wanted was my perfect
sort of Pandora's Coy type... i liked her and she liked me...
that's what i wanted: you don't get intimacy in
a ******* *******...
there's always the unwelcome party...
duck-lips: bloated: quack quack...
demands: oh: you're going to **** me!
             am i? unlike in pornographic movies...
the changing of condoms between each take on oral ***...
it sort of breaks the momentum:
but... don't even resurrect Jack the Ripper...
modern prostitutes are... minded in healthcare...
in cleanliness...
             listen: if one can be a judge of character and have
unprotected ***? what does that tell you?

oh man... a ******* is ****...
i felt like... crucifixion is the zenith of suffering?
what about the death of the prophet Isaiah?
wasn't he sort of cut in half?!
      i felt cut in half... o.k. so one is performing oral
*** on you... the other is pressing her *******
in your face...
how many eyes are present?
      i was hoping for 4... instead i got... now... it's not 6...
it's five and a half... i'm split...
the idea of ******* two women at once
is a failure of envy...
      i didn't have the care for experiencing it...
i was forced by one ******* i denied twice...

that's the difference... it would have been different
if i wanted a *******...
of all the girlfriends i ever dated... did i break up
with them, or did they they break up with me?
HA HA... they broke up with me!
ergo? it's a completely different dynamic...
it would have been different if i asked for a *******...
but a complete jar-of-cookies if being asked
to have one... no wonder the one i denied
during ******* asked me sort of trying to boost
any egoism in me to begin with: you must feel like a king...
she still didn't get it...

she never figured out she was late to the party...
there was not even a lesbian-interlude of them
kissing during the whole *******...
she became an unwelcome "member" of the "party":
because the one i truly wanted knew:
she kept her mouth shut: i never understood talking
during ***... why bring god into the "onomatopoeia"
of *******?
i couldn't... two?! at the same time... split my body
in two... i'd require some hard-on pills...

i stopped smoking for three days expecting a better
performance from whittle 'ichard...
instead... i had to smoke a cigarette to get
a "better view"...
         but by then i was snuggling into the neck
and collar bone of the one i wanted... kissing her neck
and cheeks... while she was giving me a hand-job
and the unwanted one was a canvas of ugly duck-lips
and ****... which i utilised to add cushion...
come on... if she's a ******* and she doesn't know
how to deal with *******: it's a sheath!
it's a sheath! it's mine whenever i feel constipated:
it's yours when you pull it back...

i thought male genital mutilation was simple
for you ladies?

but me? listening to Faun's Aufbruch...
reading Ovid and Zhuangzi: simultaneously?
while also entertaining the status of fatherhood?
clearly? impossible...
come this very night... would i want to find myself
sleeping in the same bed as woman?
would i want to be asleep right now?
and be sober? i don't think so...
       family life would ruin me!

if i were married right now: i'd be a shell of a man...
yeah - and sure... good luck thinking like some
elder men think: i'll just live the given platitude of
life... i'll career it through...
then, when i retire... i'll pick up my youthful
concerns for art...
sure... that might happen... but it rarely does...
career-wise... that comes first...
not minding having any money? problem...
not minding having any social status? problem?
having a soul? PROBLEM!

i tend to sniff out old dogs that pretend
to be wolves and tell them...
sniff sniff... sniff sniff...
i smell a scent of leash...
i smell a scent of leather on you...
                  
i couldn't possibly raise a family...
i've dedicated my life to prostitutes and art...
and philosophy...
sure... i'll die along: my grandfather died along
too... and he raised some of us to conjure him
as a patriarch: but my grandmother treated it
as a joke of philately...
                          i still own the stamps...
a mostly Soviet stash...
                          
             hmm... i think i might be a millionaire...
but i like playing the pauper...
it's a great filter for... filtering the character of people
that come into my life...
i like playing the pauper...
                         you pretend you have nothing:
but you actually have...
well then... you judge people accordingly to
your experience...
so far? a load of ****** disgruntled folk...
i'll wait... last time i checked: waiting:
is space-expansion relative to "expected" time...
time: after all: is linear...
so waiting... is... counter-time-expected...
it's space-enacted: and space-enacted is expansionism...
                
III.

eh... she might have been a Russian girlfriend,
but even she didn't know anything
about Soviet music... it took me years laters
to find out what i really liked...

Ви́ктор Цой;
Viktor Tsoj - my new Nirvanna-esque mratyr
Moskvitch-2141 vs. Ikarus 250 on 15 August 19 at 12:28 p.m...

i might have dated a Russian girlfriend...
but... she didn't introduce me to
the band CINEMA..
**** me...
the Russian girls of Russian immigrants
in Canada knew of Дельфин (delphin):
dolphin... but i'm talking about something:
Soviet assured in preservation...
this is my take on what's to be preserved...

the current Anglo-culture ***** sax...
                   a Russian-existential sadness that
exuberates a presence that counters
any Scandinavian 19th century existentialism...
perhaps...
              she never introduced me to this band:
i had to find it myself...
    i always tend to find "things": by my own accord...
imagining children is a horror...
esp. if they ought to be my own...
                      i'm more comfortable dealing with the children
of others...
        i don't have friends for a reason:
they're a recurrent boredom: predictability...
   something worse than casting a shadow...

SPASAJA BYGONE!

— The End —