That back that was turned towards me then could very well have been my very own.
The only difference was my conniving and cowardly nature;
for I understood the importance of people despite their pity or hypocrisy.
Because of that,
I never had the courage to give that warmth up, no matter now pathetic or miserable I had to be to hold on to it.
Everytime someone got to close,
I would back away, going into that dark place that I set apart,
just for the sake of my independence.
If I let someone change that fact,
it would mean the end,
of the life that revolved around me and me alone.
That's why I have to run.
But, all the same
Don't you think that risking everything on one single person
is too terrifying?
I know about those nights where for no reason, you can't fall asleep..
when you're left all alone with nothing but an empty cup of distilled water.
I know about the emptiness that you can't escape,
that eats away at you, making you feel like you have no one else in the world.
But even so, you have "yourself", and I gave that to you.
For some reason, I thought about it whenever I'd lose all hope.
"I'll wait for you!"
It may have been but a sweet delusion..
but that made it possible for me to believe that I am not alone in this world.
It was a hypocrisy.
It was a lie.
All I had to do was close my eyes and take one step after another.
Why couldn't I do that?
Why is living such a scary thing to do?
There is an empty cage,
I concluded without a tint of regret.
Waiting for me in the afterlife.
For I, and no one else.
If everyone fits together like a puzzle,
maybe I'm a piece on the edge,
with a jagged, broken corner.
No piece would fit,
even if forcibly bent.
Back then, I should've run.
I should've continued walking on that isolated road,
and never looked back.
It was true that at that time, I wasn't strong enough to pull away.
But that magnetic tug of our downfall, that fact called curiosity,
led me to that parodic magic of fruit;
hanging on a half-dead tree.
*What does it taste like?
