I had that dream again
The one where I'm drowning
Heavy waves weigh down on me
As the undertow pulls me deeper into the sea
Time slows down till it comes to a halt
I'm unable to move my body
But my eyes can still see

I see the moonlight piercing through the thick blue water
Like the knife you gave me which I held in my back for all those years
Never did I pull it out for I feared of how crippled I may become
So I endured the pain

Over time I learned to enjoy it
The smell of the poisonous iron that flowed through my veins
It poured out like a river when you'd sink your nails into my flesh
We'd make love as if it were our last night together
You'd let out a moan of pure ecstasy every time I bit your neck
You were my lioness
And I was your viper

The deeper I sank
The darker my vision of us became
As if it was inevitable for us to fail just as Icarus did
I let my heart blind me from my true purpose
Your deceptive ways electrified my adoration for a future that did not exist
You gave me that psychedelic high
No matter how hard I flapped my wings
It didn't keep the Sun from melting the wax that kept us together

So I fell to the center of the Earth
Into the dark blue sea
Sinking deeper and deeper to the darkest depths of hell





Copyright © 2013 Eric James Olivarez

i wanted to write like josé olivarez,
to love, plain and simple, and to let
the light in, shamelessly, for all to see

but she wanted a t.s. eliot, maybe a surrealist
portrait, or a picasso to my pissarro, and a tiptoe
around the elephants, for a look into me, endlessly

as if always in search of some deeper, divine meaning,
we parted our ways, but now i no longer feel like me
i have lost my rhythm, though i have not stopped reading

i fall into ignorance; i am called out for perfunctories; so
other than a casual fear of forevers, i now also know: my love
tastes like cheap prose, and an atrophied fondness of writing