Every day it gets one day closer to the end; and every day I get more and more scared. In a few months it will all be over. We will be out for summer, and you will be gone. Off on the next chapter in your life. I wish I could just freeze time. Stop it right in its tracks. That way I would never have to say goodbye. I want to just stay in this year forever, you a senior me a sophomore. I don't want to say goodbye. Will I ever hear from you? Will I see you again? I am scared to death you are going to forget about me. But I pray to God that you won't. Every night I beg Him "please don't let me lose her." I am terrified I am going to lose one of my bestfriends. I am scared I am going to lose the one who came along and changed everything for me. You gave me a different outlook on things. All the little things you do, all the little things you say; they mean more than you know. Simple things really. Chin up. "Chin up" you always say. "Stay strong" you always say. You are living proof that I am not in this war alone. You are my rock. You give me hope. A friend is an angel who lifts you up when your own wings have forgotten how to fly. You are my angel. You give me strength to get through the day. You picked me up when I had hit rock bottom. You have kept me from drowning all this time. When I fall, you catch me. Instead of letting me hit the cold hard ground. Who is going to be my strength when you are gone? Who is going to throw me a rope when the waves start to consume me? Because if you have not noticed, I am not too good at being strong on my own. Are we ever going to talk? Can I still call you crying my eyes out? Can I still text you if I need advice? Can I just freeze time so you do not have to go? Am I being selfish? I am happy for you; do not get me wrong. And I am proud of you. I am proud that you have made it this far; overcoming all the obsticals you have encountered. Proving to life that you can handle whatever is thrown at you. I admire you for that. I admire you for your kindness. I admire your dedication to your team. I admire the way you still laugh through that day, even though sometimes you might cry through the night. I am going to miss you. Every little part of you. Your smile. Your voice. Your laugh. Your weirdness. Your jokes. Your hugs, maybe that is one thing I will miss most of all. Why? Because they are different. They are not the crap quick hugs most people give. They are big. Warm. Compassionate. Loving. Comforting. When you give me a hug, I feel like maybe for once everything is going to be okay. They are real. This friendship is real. I just pray I do not become only a mere memory.
Thoughts that circle around in my head day in and day out.
