Serasa haru , campur bahagia , sedih , kesal senang juga . bercampur menjadi satu ketika aku mendengar bahwa sahabat tercintaku akan menikah dengan kekasih pujaannya . Haru kenapa? Terharu saja , disisi lain aku kagum akan usahanya memperjuangkan cintanya trhdp org yg dia cinta sejak bbrpa tahun lalu. padahal , jika boleh menengok kebelakang , kisah cinta mereka terbilang sangat rempong . Yaaa... beberapa kali sebut saja novi kerap menghubungiku utk meminta petuah2 apa saja yang bisa membuat dia gak cemburu buta lagi hanya karena si cwoknya ketemu mantan via jalur reuni .

Dan kesalnya adalah , mereka menikah dengan jalan pacaran . Padahal , Dalam islam tdk menganjurkan pacaran ,meskipun kegiatan itu sudah menjadi budaya seluruh dunia . Tidak melihat dari sisi buruk . aku hanya bisa mendoakan saja , agar ALLAH memudahkan segala hajat . menjadikan kalian sepasang suami istri yg saling mencinta di dunia sampai meggapai jannahNYA .  Semoga Bahagia selalu sahabatku NOVI APRIANI ,

Ljudi, hej ljudi, čiji je ovo tužni pas !?
Gledajte samo kako se
šćućurio tu u uglu,
i kako se samo trese od hladnoće…
Ljudi, hej, pogledajte,
da neko od vas nije izgubio psa,
pogledajte, nije džukac,
gle samo kako mu se crna dlaka sjaji,
pogledajte,
pa to njemu suze idu.
Ljudi, deco,
čiji je ovo pas,
poslednji put pitam,
ako ga neko ne odnese na toplo, uginuće.
E, ako je tako, nosim ga ja svojoj kući.
Dođi kuco, dođi.
Tako…
Jao što su ti se smrzle šapice,
sad ću tebe ja odneti svojoj kućici,
to će ti biti novi dom,
imaćeš i šta da jedeš,
biće ti toplo i čuvaćemo jedan drugog.
Pa muško si, ček da vidim…
Pa jesi, jesi muško si…
E sad da te ušuškam u svoj kaput i idemo,
ček samo da uzmem maramicu
da ti obrišem te suzice,
jeste tako,
nema potrebe da plačeš više,
sad imaš svoj dom.
Samo da smislim kako da te zovem…
Samo da smislim…
Čupko !
E, zvaću te Čupko, mali moj…
Eto, obrisali smo suze,
samo još da ti obrišem tu penicu sa usta…

Musical expression was silenced by record label executives.
There was no money in providing an original sound.
Young musicians were taught to play the same scale, same beat, same melody.
Mixed over and over, Until it sounded all the same.
nihil novi sub sole was beat into their head.
They told them they had talent.
That they were the best.
That there record was a top seller.
When in reality, the companies had payed for rank.
The top slot going to the man with the deepest pocket.

My eyes are prisms
Refracting your light
So magnificent
My brains a factory
I can turn you into
Something colorful
Something proficient
Melancholy and omniscient
Speak to the God inside of me
You're my serpentine lover
Show me your lips
Let me manipulate
Gather your things
I'm off to dreamland
I will remember you
I will turn you into concentrate
Focus your light
Into something brighter
Than a soul
A neuron star inside of me
That way I don't have to die alone
We'll shoot off into the cosmos
You and I, just a couple of super novi
Just you see

Rani jutarnji intervjui
#1 Dok grad spava uz cvrkut ptica koje niko ne osluskuje.

M: Sta za tebe znaci cvrkut ptica?

mh: Za nekog ko zivi citav zivot pored ulice, tacnije u nivou ulice, gde me od trotoara deli nekih 25-35 cm zida, a od vozila  1.5 -2 m, priguseni zvuk vozila koji se postepeno pojacava i postepeno gubi u kracim ili duzim intervalima uz onaj huk u trenutku prolaska kao i govor prolaznika, urezao se u mene i postao deo mog zivota.

Retko uhvatim sebe kako slusam te zvukove sem kada mi se neki bas nametne i to onaj ljudski u duzini jedne recenice koja moze da se izgovori prolaskom pored par metara zida. Iz te jedne recenice koja ima svoj zvuk i tematiku profil prolaznika je vrlo lako zamisliti. Ponekad mi izmame osmeh, a ponekad uznemirenost, pa i strah.

Tematika tih recenica mogla bi se podeliti u zavisnosti od doba dana kada su prolaznici aktivni. Od onih dnevnih tema najglasnije su vaspitno-obrazovne gde se dete uci kako da ne ide ni slucajno pored ivicnjaka, a od onih nocnih, najglasnije su one ljubavne gde tacno znam da u narednih sto metara sledi raskid ili strastven ***.

Ima i onih tema gde ti se smuci i gde sam u fazonu “hajde bre vise” a to su naravno komsijske, koje kad krenu znam da ce trajati bar pola sata ili u kasnim nocnim satima taxi teme, ko koga ceka i ko gde ide.

Ponekad znam da provirim kroz roletne i zateknem vrlo kreativne scene, recimo kreativno iscrtavanje kruga sto mi zene ne bismo mogle.

Vikend je predvidjen za vristanje zena koje pokusavaju da prekinu tucu pijanih iz kafica gde kako se otvaraju vrata treste narodnjaci, a ima i onih koje vole da bacaju veliko kamenje na takve kafice i onda brzim trcecim koracima prodju pored mog prozora.

mh: uh, sto meni ne idu ove duge forme

M: pa zasto ih onda koristis?

mh: Ma ne znam, dosadno mi, a i znam nekog ko voli glupe textove.

mh: Dakle, gde sam ono bese stala. A da, zasto volim cvrkut ptica.

Pa, tokom studija najvise mi je prijalo da u nocnim satima, kad se sve primiri, kad svi polegaju i saobracaj se razredi i kad se moje telo zagreje, da krenem sa radom na studentskim zadacima. Iz dana u dan ritam bi se menjao i ja bih sve kasnije i kasnije odlazila u krevet i tako sve dok nije pocelo da svice.

U tom pomeranju pocela sam da uocavam kad se sta desava na ulici i polako prestajala da gledam na sat. Djubretari bi bucno prosli u 4am a negde izmedju 4:30 - 4:45 bi nastao muk, noc bi pocela da prelazi u dan i tada bi krenulo oglasavanje ptica.

I dan danas ne znam koja ptica je u pitanju jer sa prozora se nije dalo videti ali nije, vrabac, nije golub, nije lasta, ne kresti ko vrana, svraka, nije gugutka sa svojim”dugo spiš”, ne znam, ali znam da je pesma lepa i da dolazi od nekog ko zeli da privuce paznju na sebe. I taj osecaj da priroda opstaje medju ovim betonom mi je bila bas lepa i zanimljiva jer su ptice pronasle rupu u buci i koristile taj momenat da komuniciraju daleko od usiju mnogih.

Te ptice su u stvari bas pametne i prakticne, kad stigne jesen, a one lepo na jug, tamo gde je prijatnije, a ne da se smrzavaju, budu sumorni sve do proleca kao “mi ljudi iz gradova” - Milan Mladenovic

Ptice bi oznacavale tada i pocetak tv emisije nekog kuvara koji bi parlao na spanskom onako kako to samo oni umeju i ja bih sa zamisljenim ukusom polako uranjala u san.

mh: Vreme mi je da uronim u san, zato Laku noc do sledeceg intervjua.

M: Laku noc tebi i svim citaocima

__________
#2 Iskrenost - veoma skup poklon

M: Kako tumacis ove recenice koje smo pronasli na jednom zidu, moglo bi se reci jednu pored druge?
- "Iskrenost je veoma skup poklon, ne ocekuj ga od jeftinih ljudi"
- "Nije vazno da li je skupo, nego da li se isplati"

mh: Nek odgovor ostane za neku drugu priliku.

Prosao je sajam knjiga pa bih volela da podelim sa citaocima jednu pesmu inspirisanu knjigama, zove se "Neizreceno"

NEIZRECENO

Lagano je
prelazila
prstima
preko korica
u ritmu
sto neznost
izaziva

Pogled
mi se usmerio
na pokret
na zelju
stajala je pored
primetila je
izgovorila je

Ja tako
kada mi se
svidjaju
korice

Uzvratih joj
da volim
u muzejima
preko skulptura
da predjem
dodirom
dozivim oblik
osetim teksturu

Znas li ti da je to zabranjeno?
Rece ona
ozbiljno

Tu sam zastala
a u glavi je
odzvanjalo

E jbg
kad volim
ono sto je zabranjeno

E jbg
kad volim
ono sto je zabranjeno

E jbg
vise nije bila tu
vise nije bila pored
ali je i dalje odzvanjalo

mh, Novembar 2016

M: Danas si okrenula novi list?

mh: Today is the day :D

---------------------------------------------------
#3 Koja je tvoja maska?

M: Evo posle relativno duge pauze konacno smo uhvatili mh da nam kaze par reci o tome sta se desava i zasto je nema, da li sprema nesto novo...

mh: Dobro vece svim citaocima i tebi M posebno. Evo samo par reci o tome da se priprema program naucno -obrazovnog karaktera za sledecu 2017 godinu. Bice tu dosta toga sto ce iziskivati da citaoci udju u sebe i potraze neke odgovore.
Jedna od prvih tema bice maske, kako nastaju, njihova uloga i podela.

M: Ja se posebno radujem znajuci da vec dugo radis na tome i verujem da ce sve maske pasti :)

mh: Pa eto nadam se da sam citaocima vec zagolicala mastu i da ce biti tu da isprate program koji sledi.

M: btw. Imali smo jednog citaoca iz unutrasljosti sa komentarom na pesmu "Neizreceno" kaze, u pesmi se navode "korice kao predmet svidjanja" da li to oznacava neku povrsnost ili...?

hm: ne, ne , ne cak naprotiv, sasvim suprotno, oznacava jednu otvorenost da se zaviri i pronadje nesto dublje ispod raznoraznih korica, sem knjige, postoje tu i recimo modni casopisi, ili katalozi o uredjenje enterijera... Tako da mislim da je rec sasvim na svom mestu.

M: Hvala ti mh, ne bi te vise zadrzavali. Vidimo se uskoro :)
mh: vidimo se, pozdrav svim citaocima :)



NASTAVICE SE...

Female, male, novi-, pan-, trans-, cisgender,
questioning, agender, non-gender, alia! inter! apora!
    andro, bi!
chuckchi ne'uchika,      guevedoche,
  maverique,      winkte,
xanith...and approx 60 others.

When list is done, perhaps we can finally just be

Ne mogu da sagledam celu sliku...zuckerberg jos ne da


hm

It’s dark outside, I wonder if someone’s trying to get in
I’m hungry, but I already had my allotted calories for the day
Should I throw away that ****** tissue?
I wonder if he thinks I look pretty today
Windbreakers make me look dope
I wonder if she heard that I told her to f* off
Am I a *******?
Don’t kiss me yet
I don’t like my thighs
My teeth aren’t white enough
I shouldn’t eat this
Strawberries are only good on some days
Orange ***** unless it’s in a sunset
Aww
That tree would be sufficient for a hanging
I dream of his musty scent
God is real, but heaven is not
Shut up
Shut the f* up
I think I’ll stop eating and turn into a skeleton
I should create my own country in my room that America can’t imperialize
Nuclear reactor cores are so fascinating
I have the urge to watch bad things
***** social media
My mood is decaying like Chernobyl
I ache for the sting of a blade
Sometimes I see a demon when I look in the mirror
I’m scared of the dark
Latin is a cool language
What if he wants to cheat on me sometimes because I ****?
Dolla dolla bill y’all
Well I hate my body
It’s too hot in this room
Today was a success
Why don’t you go **** a carrot?
Keep smiling, it makes you look great
Yes, if under a certain circumstance with the opportunity, I’d remove myself from this world
Man I feel just like a rockstar
If I don’t like how my body looks so much, why don’t I ever do anything to fix it?
My fish is going to die
I haven’t been home alone in a long time
I need to quit soda
Novi (I learned)
Maybe if I cut it, I don’t have to see it for what it really is
I wonder how I can make myself throw up
I tried, it didn’t work
I swear I’m not bulimic
Am I happy?
Is this a false sense of happiness?
Am I on drugs?

THE CUPBOARD OF THE YESTERDAYS

The War marches
across the map

on little coloured pins

blood red for us &
bright green for them.

The colours faltering
in the candlelight

after the lights
had gone out.

One can still see holes
from the previous War

that pinned men down
so that they

would never move again
they the never returning.

THE CUPBOARD OF THE YESTERDAYS
falling from mother's sleepy hand.

"War is a cruelly destructive thing..."
it both begins & ends.

Men wriggle under
coloured pins & die.

Saki smiles sardonically
from THE TOYS OF PEACE.

I move a pin to where
father maybe is.

I am glad
mother sleeps at last.

In the somewhere of now
a bullet splinters bone

my father falls

the agony of the moment
revealed in the telegram

that will come
a month later.

Father has become
History.

Mother will read her Saki
and cry and try

not to let me see
her cry.

I, a small boy
can't cry.

Death appears
like a fairy story.

What War
awaits me?

*

The Cupboard of the Yesterdays," a short story written by Saki aka H. H. Munro a few years before he was killed on the Western Front in 1916,.

"War is a cruelly destructive thing," said the Wanderer, dropping his newspaper to the floor and staring reflectively into space.

But the old atmosphere will have changed, the glamour will have gone; the dust of formality and bureaucratic neatness will slowly settle down over the time-honoured landmarks; the Sanjak of Novi Bazar, the Muersteg Agreement, the Komitadje bands, the Vilayet of Adrianople, all those familiar outlandish names and things and places, that we have known so long as part and parcel of the Balkan Question, will have passed away into the cupboard of yesterdays, as completely as the Hansa League and the wars of the Guises.

At the start of the First World War Munro was 43 and officially over-age to enlist, but he refused a commission and joined the 2nd King Edward's Horse as an ordinary trooper. He later transferred to the 22nd Battalion of the Royal Fusiliers, in which he rose to the rank of lance sergeant.

More than once he returned to the battlefield when officially still too sick or injured. In November 1916 he was sheltering in a shell crater near Beaumont-Hamel, France, during the Battle of the Ancre, when he was killed by a German ******. According to several sources, his last words were "Put that ****** cigarette out!"

Munro has no known grave.