i fell from abyss,
to a wistful
post dinner rest,
laid down
next to an angel like brunette
for the first time i knew,
we gazed each other
much, like lovers do,
then softly
on her arms i
lowered my head
and kissed
her grown tummy
that carried life
is it mine? i asked
while
her new man
did the dishes,
(who was this simplicity, that she said to have chosen, for the pure easiness of it?)
and with whole
worlds unselfishness
she answered
how would it make you feel?
i stuttered...
she smiled
while warm safetiness
was injected
to my veins
by the pure
stinging self power,
she had just shown me,
right there
i knew,
i felt love,
i felt it...
for the first time
in my life,
a moment
that put aside
a lifelong doubts
if there was
such thing,
i had witnessed,
what so many
preach of,
what so many
die for,
and so so many,
write about,
i left the apartment
soon after, walked
down the stairs
and to my grief,
never
saw her since

by the heads
of the ******!!
should i ever
be offered
an answer to earthly secrets,
then atleast,
i have been given
my question:
who, was this woman
of my dreams,
and why love came knocking
past bedtime?

I
you could be,
the most sweetest muse in the world,
one above,
the invented meaning of words,
oh you could be,
what few of us dare to dream,
a secret to so called comfort,
oh yes you could,
and the way i see,
your hazel brown eyes sing,
while your lips are sealed,
you preach and i listen,
a melody only few understands

II
double inhale stress relief,
ex wants me back in sheets,
while old crush, offered me a kiss,
one i, politely declined,
ask and i'll answer,
i barely know, whats going on,
for somewhere in the corner,
a lost lesbian, got jealous of me too,
you'd think it took time, no,
a day in life, under dim lights of a bar,
none of them knows,
yet i told them so,
theres a girl i like, one i'd never hurt,
one better, than stories to be made,
so let us be a week, a month or years,
know you can sleep,
with calmest of ears,
for every tear i'd make you weep,
would pour down twice from mine

III
thought it was the sirens,
that confused me,
see, i got lost here,
and its been too long,
but i remember the lighthouse,
and signals, it once sent my way,
and while the signing goes on,
i know i've been here before,
familiar song never changes,
it goes from ballad, to ballad

light of life rose above the desert,
as salomon sang the blues,
traveller felt the eyes of Ra, as he passed his last hurrah,
now left to be judged by rattlesnakes,
zikhi-zhii-zii

journey of lost soul,
only echoes voyages of past fears,
to rise against the dark he dared,
was it for blues, was it for Ra?
know not, but courage to travel far,
the traveller sure had

how you keep a secret,
when you run out of space to hide it?

and who do i tell, i don´t miss you,
only parts of we, and role you played,
in this crush extreme...

and why today, when years have passed,
does window present a morning twin,
of time long gone, that lost its bling

and who do i tell, i don´t miss you,
only parts of we, and role you played,
my sweetest muse

the **** we doing?
I am frustrated, angry,
this wasn't how I planned it,
I was supposed to change the world,
saw all the unlogical behaviour,
the problems,
only to become one?

I turned into a poet, a writer,
to describe, change ideas of the future,
now I read back and see,
all I described was,
another beautiful night,
a cruelsome heartache,
how juniper curves, and song it sings,
have I fallen into a category,
of what I, used to loathe,
the tales are magnificient,
yet, do they tell a story,
of better tomorrow, for you, for me,
to go about?

I must search, the shadow of my roots,
escape the cage, of settled protagonist,
my heroes, past truthsayers,
look down on me now,
I will rise once again,
for liberalism!

I am the nemesis,
of bold new world,
the last mohican,
who remembers bloodstained history,
of humankind

they come at night,
in hopes, to erase stories,
of what they did,
who they forgot, the untold mystery,
of those left behind

but I've told you before,
and I'll tell you again,
this spirit of mine, you can't take away,
see free folk knows, the ***** secrets,
of evils mind

so say your prayer, and know,
from the fire of your lies,
I was born, and now,
I am coming, for your death

it seems most deities,
are derived from basic human relationships,
fear of father, love of mother,
respect of brother,
etc.