"You can do this"- I tell myself

I gasp for breath,
I am amazed and dazed,
Let me rephrase-

"You can do this"- I lie to myself,
(Oh, what a compulsive liar I am.)

I rush to my desk,
And my hands wait to be knighted.

Take it, feel it- and run it

D o w n,

Your beautiful wrists,
What a shame of your personhood.

My desk has seen the unabashed,
People call me a ******,
People call me a maze.

My mind sinks in turmoil,
And my hands seem like Calpurnia's dream,

It's terrifying.
But beautiful.