I want to remind you of all the times we shared.

When I helped you stand in an elevator at 8 years old because you were too drunk to stand yourself.

When you missed my last band concert because getting high and crying over him was more important.

When you told me I treat you like a dog, but I get anxiety whenever I'm around you.

When you told my brother he should have never been born. A drunk man's words are a sober man's thoughts, you know.

When you said I was too immature to decide if I should stay at your house or not.

When you stopped being my safe place.

When you tried to make me feel guilty for not coming out to you sooner. It made you mad that even though you have been calling it a phase for a year that I didn't think you'd exept me.

How about the time I tried to put my younger brother to sleep and you yelled at me for asking you not to distract him while cleaning; he would never get to sleep that way. But I was "scoulding you".

Don't forget when I was 4 years old and you came to visit me and promised me a new booksgelf for all my moovies, and didn't even remember the next time I saw you (a month later).

And I've been told plenty of time of when you left me with my grandma to go get some food, and came back about 4 days later for your child.

I was sick once and I remember throwing up, wishing my mom was there to hold my hair, but I figured I hadn't seen her in so long that maybe if I prayed she would hear me up in hevan?

When you dropped me off without saying I love you, even though I said it three times and I was mad.

Now pick those out in perfect chronological order. Tell me what was the old you. Tell me you changed. Lie to me. Im already used to it.

Now you might understand why I'm counting down the days until I live with my father.

Fast was my pace.
My pace called life.
Speed balling
with a shown Mixture of hevan,
From a self made hell.
A Godess wave, that kept me well.
Numbed true feelings of
pain by trading my worth.
Such thoughts created
only in a tarnished youth.
Vibrations of glass
after her warm wave swept
head to toe.
Aspirations cut out with a ***** swoe.
Was Spun like a Clock
on a cooks trailer door.
Days to nights where
just black and white blurs.
Lost reality I
never quite grasped.
Sobriety,
only known in short blinks of my eyes.
A fairy tale.
Another hole riddled my cheese cloth vains.
A Godess hand,
caressed my face tuning it blue.
Another Over Dose
to end a neopolitine junkies tale that should have been through.
But a Gardian
NarCaned me back.
when I must have let go.
Punctured blow to the chest to release her grip.
Awake to mumble im fine.
Just to get slapped back down with truth.
The Time had come
to bring change.
To the fast pace,
The fast pace I called life.