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onlylovepoetry Jul 2020
one word. one thing
shows up on my face.

everybody knows it is a
keepsake:
keep away from me today,
for fks sake!


certain peculiarmornings
wake with a cross on forehead.

days when you certain,
everything worth saying
has been written, sung,
not a **** thing left to
contribute, except whining.

no way to purge, the compulsion
welling up, coursing down.
this overwhelms, my outlet store,
permanent closed, sign says
don’t ya know it’s a recession.

a one man recession.
no government intervention
gonna come my way.

the notion that I’ll never just
once more, feel the thrill of a
first love, a new born progeny,
woman, baby, poem, no diff,
wrecks me badly, worried sun consults
my animal friends, what’s to be done?

knowing the answer to my curse is,
not one wiling to courage to curettage
the lining of my decrepitude,
the end then, of no more next time.

though there is a first here. ever.
first time, every stanza writ,
closed off, finally ended, with a flourish,
a puncture of a period.

~~~~~~~~

postscript:


the closing scheduled for now,
have to change the name, says York,
it’s the common law, I’m legal bound,
gonna sign the documents as
no more love poetry.

919am Wed Jul 22 2020
Free Bird Jun 2019
& I think maybe that’s what’s fked me up the most
The people that have hurt me the most were those that were close

& those that didn’t care
Smiled, acted polite & shared
Their fake, crowd pleasing personas
with me

Smile to my face, then vanish into black
Only to text back
Months later

Oh sorry, it’s been hectic
I’ve been soo busy
Finding myself
Far away from you
But would you like to come out for a brew
Perhaps

Meanwhile the people that tell me they love me
The people that tell me they’ve always had MY best interests in mind while they themselves made decisions that affected me
Without me

Leaving me for my own good
Staying away from me for my own good
Telling me that I’m too good
For them

& which one is better
Really
Which one is worse
Or more real
Is anything real..
Anymore?

All I know is that I’m tired of the ****
This technological abyss
Where people can come & go as they please
Eternally

IT’S NOT OKAY
I will not come out to play
I will not twirl & dance for you
Every time you want to wind me up

For old times sake
So you can recreate
A distant memory of former bliss
What is this?

But utter confusion
You’re delusioned
If you think I’ll ever spin near your orbit again  
& no we can’t “stay friends”

For fks sake
Just leave me be

— The End —