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Mauri Pollard Jun 2013
You have no idea how long I thought about that letter.
Or how many rough drafts I wrote, noted, and then ripped up.
Or how badly i thought I would throw up on the way there.
And did you notice how much I was shaking? and for a moment I forgot that anything had changed. That we don't speak anymore.
Then I left, still shaking, but I wish I could have, somehow, still been there.
Known what your parents said when the door slammed shut. Known what you did.
Did you look at them right away? or wait until you fixed your sleepy hair?
Did you walk into the kitchen because your mom wanted to see them? Spill them out onto the counter and she picks up the blue envelope and say, "What's this?" or did you run up to your room-up the stairs and to the right- close the door, sit on your bed, and pull them out carefully and gently?
Were you surprised when you pulled out the envelope? or did you just know that that's how I am?
Did you want to read it? or were you scared?
I wish I could have seen you open it, because I think I can imagine your careful fingers.
But not your eyes. I wish I could have seen your eyes. Because eyes are the windows to the soul and one time your soul was in love with mine.
Did you think , "oh, lined paper. that's just like her."? because that's what the point was.
Was the amount of "I'm sorry"s too much? or appreciated?
And what did you think when you turned it over? Did it make you hate me? or think of me?
Did you have to read it more than once to take it in?
And after you folded it back up, is it sitting on the table next to your bed? or maybe in the drawer or in a wallet or a box or a secret place that no one knows?
Did you relive our memories? or have you already blocked those out of your mind?
Did you fight back the urge to text me about it? or did you just already never want to speak to me again?
And I dont know why, but you told your friends about the letter but not what was in it.
Not waht it said. And if I could know one thing, it quite possibly could be why you didn't tell them what I had said.
Was it becaue you didn't want her to find out?
Was it to protect me from her?
or was it because it was special to you?
That, even though we are not together and we don't want to be and nothing will ever happen, nor should it, you feel the same way and there's still something there for you too?
Was it on your mind the whole day? or was it easy to forget?
and was your tweet at 1:32 a.m. about me?
Can I just pretend it was anyways? because it makes me feel better.
Do you miss talking?
I miss talking.
I miss you bringing me Mountain Dews and going to Roxberry every Monday night for three weeks and Zupas and doing homework together and Stairway to Heaven and taking two hours to say goodnight and shooting stars and talking about Paris and wanting to drop out of school and run away and Disneyland- Man do I miss Disneyland!- and California and watching the color show with your arm around me and Soaring Over California and you pushing me in your dad's wheelchair and holding hands and running to get onto the Ferris Wheel on time and you went in one of the nonswinging carriages for me and overlooking all of the park and I wanted you to kiss me but I was scared and we rode the Little mermaid ride with me a million times and we rode the teacups and you rode Dumbo with me and I felt like a little girl again and you walked through Sleeping Beauty's castle with me cause I love it so much and you got so scared when that little guy jumped out and I really liked you then and letting you drive my car and blasting music when it rains and going to concerts and you letting me choose the radio stations and going to Thanksgiving Point and you hating that salad that I loved and cuddling on my lawn in the freezing cold and "what would you do if I fell asleep right now?"  "I dunno. I'd probably stay here." "Good." and yeah it was a full moon and you sneaking out cause I was scared to death but you got caught and your mom was mad and I had to make cookies and write a note and I think she really hated me and my sparkly Paris shirt that got glitter all over you and "What should I write a poem about?" cause you were the only one I was comfortable enough with to ask that and hanging out with you and Thomas and how you couldn't figure out how to use the library and your truck and making bets on football games and helping you with your eagle project and I didn't know anyone that was there so I talked to your mom and then I stayed over probably for too long and we looked up music on iTunes and we never stopped texting and you making me muffins and trying to steal my phone and read it and how you told me that I made you want to be a better person and that you told me that you think I'm a good singer and how much you hated edamame but I don't know why and you always wanted me to try sea food and listen to your music and how you let me just come over and vent and cry to you when I was in a fight with my mom and I told you I wasn't going home and I would sleep in my car and you told me I could sleep in your basement and how understanding and kind you were.
and the only thing I can still say is I'm sorry.

I'm reading your favorite
book right now.
because you leave on your mission in July instead of October and you're in love with my Ex Sister
OnwardFlame Apr 2015
In retrospect
Here in my Alabama bed
Birds hovering above a stage
Michael Keaton nails and bleeds such
Sincerity
Snoozing and losing
Let myself vacation.

You can give me a call
I tell The Professor disappointments
But see no real answer, in it all
No, not from him
Gazing at the faces of those before me
Times, oh how they have changed
But all of those bodies
Their pounding organs
Felt immense love, pain, happiness
Beads breaking around my neck
Reading an old note in a play with a grin.

Sleeping into oblivion
But my mother and I make plans
As I wish I was leaner, stronger, blonder
My hair swarming all around me
A city whispers and runs on
Without me
But I don't feel sadness in that
Embracing the sun in the morning
And puppy dog kisses.

Driving through the miles and miles of grass
Trees and natural thick syrupy dialects
I remember when a black haired boy
Was the meaning of my everything
My Prince, I called him.
Driving by coffee shops, kisses in the library
I thought to myself:
"There is nothing but this."
Uniform skirts, knee high socks, a black book in my hands
My world was so small scale
And I roll my eyes every time my mother
Criticizes the men of my past:
"They think small. They don't think big like you do."
In wine there is truth.

Detoxing and hovering in quietness
Laying in the greenery, bees buzzing all around me
My world was so small
It meant so much
An urgency to find an answer
But with bigger and wider eyes
I ran on,
I am still running.

I don't know who will catch me
Mid-air
But I stop asking, stop questioning, stop looking
Can't make any of these bachelors
Be what I see
So my vision and I
We prance on.

I think he knows that meant goodbye
You must know how you gazed at me
A photograph to prove its point
Holding early in the morning
Drifting and knowing some
Are beyond repair.

I seek no enemies
And often I wish I could wrap it all up in a little bow
But tying lace trimmed with eloquence and wild--
Dance and laughter
I tie the bow in my hair
As it dangles and lingers around my neck
Around my skin tattooed like
All of my experiences I thought were it
I dream and I dream
And I live

Big.
P Chartier Jul 2013
I am the bobby pins and hair clips you find in corners of your room, on your dresser, or behind your bed.

I am the pictures on your wall that I made when I was once manic.

I am the crumbs you find in your bed that was once my “three or four nights a week bed” which I used as a table.

I am the cafe where we met, and kept meeting.

I am day drives to no where.

I am the Middletown train station before the movies.

I am the mint lotion that keeps the bugs away.

I am the notes I would leave you, that found their way on your wall.

I am the bandaids.

I am that strand of medium length brown hair you will find in your shower

I am that guy, from trivia at that other cafe, that I wanted us to be friends with.

I am the hands that would unlock your locked pointer finger.

I am that key on your key chain.

I am the leftover tea that is always too hot for me to drink, and is left near your bed.

I am ice cream with CHERRIES, and edamame.

I am the sheets on your bed.

I am the downing film theater when you needed to feel better.

I am New Jersey.

I am the reason Netflix recommends Independent dramas with strong female lead. I am the netflix.

I am the stain on your mattress.

I am the drool on your pillow.

I am the sugar in your cabinet above your roomates whiskey.

I am all of the groceries and dates I paid for.

I am all those pictures of me on your phone which made their way to your computer.

I am the light wash boyfriend jeans.

I am that bottle of wine that sits with all other bottles, that you see when you walk out of your room and into the kitchen, and out the door.

I am the reason you once felt content.

I am the reason the corkscrew sits on that stool.

I am the reason why your toothbrush is wet, before you use it.

I am the two red sharpie marks left on those sheets that I got us.

I am mexico. The trip to mexico that could have almost seemed doable.

I am the sent of oils which remind you of hippies.

I am the shoes left at your door, or the teavana jug of tea in the kitchen right now.

I am the fourth of July. I am that pool we never swim in. I am the projected films on the fence.

I am the talker, the thought keeper, the fighter, the writer.

I am Sensual Amber

I am UBE

I am my legs on the wall when I dry them.

I am the tiny pills on your dresser.

I am just someone your next girlfriend will be better than.

I am the bobby pins.
AlanK Sep 2015
I tried to tickle my vegan fancy
With bushels of quinoa and kale,
I was told no meat or dairy
Was the healthy Holy Grail.

But I was sad and hungry
With every burger I declined,
See me toss away my salad bowl,
I’m in a sirloin state of mind.

I filled my fridge with veggies,
Bean sprouts and legumes,
But I dreamt of pancetta
And links of sausage to consume.

Breakfast was plain yogurt
Lunch was collard greens,
Snacks were roasted edamame,
****, they’re just soy beans.

I was getting much too skinny,
My ribs were protruding,
I became short-tempered,
And was dark and brooding.

I covered all the mirrors,
I looked so pale and pasty,
All day I would salivate,
Craving something hot and tasty.

My vegan days are over
Enjoying pork chops, ham and bacon
I thought veggies were the answer,
But it seems I was mistaken.

Feel free to live off plants,
If you are so inclined,
But I’m firing up the grill,
I’m in a sirloin state of mind.
Kelly Lloyd Mar 2012
It was edamame
Who ate the frozen peas
in Siberia.
Jimmy Timmons Feb 2015
Jaw clenched tight, almost painfully.
Watching the door, I caught your glance.
Managed to drape a smile upon my face.
Those 20 steps you took to reach me.

That feeling in the deep pit of my stomach.
It never subsided. It will never calm.
The feeling of immense anticipation.
Jumping off a cliff. No parachute.

Taking your seat opposite me.
Nervous laughs, small talk.
Edamame and Riesling.
Tense muscles tore through my body.

You wore a braid consciously.
Almost spitefully. Almost dangerously.
Dumbfounded at your beauty,
I swung at your wine glass. It was mocking me.

The night progressed. I felt more at ease.
Heart pacing faster than a failed trapeze.
Finished up our meals, we entered the cold night.
Frigid air graced our cheeks.

Finding ourselves inside a local bar.
Curiously attracted to the curious brews.
Conversation became much more organic.
Flowing as efficient as the drafts.

Sneaking peeks at you in the mirror.
Wondering what thoughts reside inside you.
I couldn't have possibly left a great impression.
Nevertheless, you wore that Riesling with pride.

                                           -

A month melted. It cannot possibly be just that.
For years, I've had these butterflies trapped.
Just for you.
Duke Thompson Sep 2014
eda
i am in cocoon like edamame
says the disembodied
tibetan monk
cocoon is rapture
warm embrace of the ether
Qualyxian Quest Dec 2022
Gratitude for my son tonight
Gratitude despite the dread
I hope he will remember me
When I am long gone dead

Not much hope for the Americans
But I like the USPS
Soon time to go
Off like a prom dress

Her hair was really beautiful
A kind of cinnamon brown
Silence in the Night
Not a man of much renown

        Oxford Town! Oxford Town!
MissNeona Sep 2014
popcorn seasoning
it's on the edamame
******* salty pods
Qualyxian Quest Jan 2023
Leonard Cohen saw the Future
Maybe I did too
Little prayer for Taipei
Carolina blue

Vegetarian tacos tonight
Edamame for my son
Rieko held him newborn
At Taipei 101

Sometimes profane the sacred
Sometimes revere and cherish
I do pray to the statues
But do not attend the parish

My ordinary life
Boring, but gratitude
My joy in my three sons
In my solitude

                     3!
Blades in your mouth but you're not chainsaw man
Any opportunity to be an opp
You take it by hand
Forever you swear we tight
Like a Shaolin clan
Yet I see a katana eveytime
You say “You understand”

We grew side by side
Edamame
Call each other family members
Uncle and aunty
So why anytime I trip
Over my family tree
You were there waiting
To catch and bury me

In Homeroom debating cartoons
To lying about taking shrooms
With the water girls to see
If they part vacuum
Thought our college days be
A different world
You saw it like who “the best man”
Now our friendships otherworld
Maybe in the next life, we can
give it A whirl
Until then where’s the knife
We have a lot to unfurl


Continuing to grow making room for
A family
Adding decimals to make their life more
Exceptional
It always seemed medicinal until the economy went critical
Now it's every man for themselves
Even if there’s enough on the shelves
You see me and mine as wanting
Yours to fail
At least that’s what it looks like
When I scroll on my cell
Qualyxian Quest Dec 2022
Leonard Cohen saw the Future
Maybe I did too
Little prayer for Taipei
Carolina blue

Vegetarian tacos tonight
Edamame for my son
Rieko held him newborn
At Taipei 101

Sometimes profane the sacred
Sometimes revere and cherish
I do pray to the statues
But do not attend the parish

My ordinary life
Boring, but gratitude
My joy in my three sons
In my solitude

                     3!
Qualyxian Quest Jul 2023
i was only in japan for 2 weeks so how much can i really know for example kyoto snow kamakura buddha sitting silently we really never glow rieko was quite kind to me rieko y takahiro i dressed up like a samurai on and on we go kyoto school buddhism i told him o yes i know seattle in the summer a raven told me so i too am lost in translation hidey hidey hidey ** miso soup edamame one man to overthrow one man to grow old lonely only lonely grow

                                     yoko yo yo
Universe Poems Aug 2023
"Edamame beans
Rocket beams"

© 2023 Carol Natasha Diviney
Qualyxian Quest May 2023
I was in Japan
For 10 or 11 days
Tokyo to Kyoto
Dressed up like a Samurai

Lost in Translation
Snow Falling on Cedars
Rieko and Takahiro
Shiva's third eye

I like miso soup
Snowfall shunyata
Edamame for my sons
Salmon teriyaki for I

Tokyo to Bangkok
Motorcycle taxis
Som tam. Panang curry.
I Thai Wai

                 Ry.
Qualyxian Quest Mar 2023
Kind black woman gives me directions out
She is studying to be a nurse
You spit in the face of Gotham's criminals
Things were always going to get worse first

She leads me to 37th street
I can find my car
Altar dates from '72
Irish music in Dan's bar

Andy is going to help me budget
And I surely do need the help
Edamame for my son
For me miso soup with kelp

Here's a truck stop instead of St. Peter's
Yeah yeah yeah yeah
Green hummingbird at my bird feeder
Yeah yeah yeah yeah

                Athens, Georgia.
Qualyxian Quest Feb 2023
Our politics is Absurd
My father's house is calm collected
Yo soy un Protector
Who also needs to be protected

Navajo. Seminole, Arapahoe.
Sitting Bull. Crazy Horse.
Helped her out of a jam I guess
But I used a little too much force

San Francisco Zen
Edamame for my son
3333
Taipei 101

Jesus was a Sailor
Shiva does his dance
Heidelberg, Germany
Thai singers in Paris, France

         Wishin' for a little romance
Qualyxian Quest Sep 2022
Eyes Up Guardian
Little by little by little
I like miso soup
Edamame y peanut brittle

Help me do my best
Help me take it slow
Please Qualyxian Quest
Please Reno snow

      Uncle Jack, on we go.
Qualyxian Quest Aug 2023
America is Ignorance
Ignorance with nuclear weapons
I take a little walk
Lonely in the night

The Shinkansen was quiet
Edamame, miso soup
Deer park in Nara
Manga - but I don't buy it

Moon aglow tonight
Round, yellow, full
Mexico City
Sor Juana's mystic flight

      My Mr. Spock kite
Qualyxian Quest Feb 2023
The Devil is in the details
The angels are in there too
Smokin' a cigar
Stop White Hate

My boys like chicken katsu
I eat edamame
Vietnamese summer rolls
1972

War is the father of all things
According to Heraclitus
Notre Dame Cathedral
Before she caught on fire

Springsteen at Fox Theater
Detroit Rock City
Gene Simmons is a misogynist
Michael Jackson higher

          Tucker Carlson: Liar.
Dinner with my son
Deeply gratitude
Udon, edamame
Evening interlude

I remember you, Rieko
And I wish you well
Japan is amazing
Ain't no tongue can tell

— The End —