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Captured in the psych ward Part 11



You see Ron's grandfather died 10 years ago, and he was having these weird nightmares
As he was sleeping on the couch. And suddenly the phone rang at 4-30 in the morning
And it woke him up in a way that he fell off the couch and he ran to the phone and it was
The hospital and an 8 year old boy was rushed to the emergency room who had bipolar
And yes, he was saved, but he started to have these weird dillusions that Ron was his
Grandson, and yes, he demanded that the hospitals call up Ron cooper and when Ron arrived at the hospital the staff brought him to the operating theatre and Ron said hi
And the boy said, hello grand son and Ron was shocked, and said back to him, no buddy,
I am not your grandson, I am older than you, anyway, and the boy said he is Abriaim salie
The spiritual Buddhist leaders son, and he told me that Ron Cooper is your previous lives grandson and Ron said, ok your a Buddhist, well, they are really peaceful, but, what makes you say I am your grandson, and the boy said well, my dad said, he has the power to put a
Doctors grandfather in his wife's ******, to keep seeing them and Ron said, no I know nothing about your fathers beliefs but I know reincarnation as something that nobody can guess, but I would love to hear more about your beliefs and the boy said no dad said, no son of his is ever going to the psych ward, you see that is the nut house, and being a Buddhist
I mean that in the nicest kind of way, you see, Ron cooper is my grandson and the boy
Shared this with everyone and Ron went to the HDU to get Pete, who had these dillusions
That Jesus has healed him and the beliefs that came from an 8 year old boy were better than this messed up old man, but Pete, wanted to actually know, how he knows that for sure, he is only 8 and then his Buddhist father said, he had voices that no kid has ever heard before, and Ron asked him, how much TV do they watch, and his father said, I
Try and discipline them about what they watch on TV, but I am sure there is nothing on
Between 3-15 and 5-15 and I don't let them have a TV in their room, only because TV
Can spoil aura, of a child's beliefs, but then Ron said, it is great to see kids with an imagination, and TV is good for that, and the Buddhist said, yeah mate yeah, imagination
Is great but, being good in a spiritual way is great, so I want to find out more about your
Grandfather, because I don't want my son growing up, fighting me and breaking Buddhist
Code and be disrespectful and Ron left him and took Pete back and told Pete that not
Everyone has the same beliefs as you, I was trying to tell you that yesterday and then
Went into the HDU and Charlie said hi di partner and Ron said howdy mate, how did you sleep, and he said fine how did you sleep, well the Buddhists said my grandfather is an
8 year old boy on the operating table and Charlie said, he is crazy hey, and Ron said
He is about as crazy as you, saying you are silent movie actor Charlie Chaplin, and
Charlie said, but I am, Buddha said, in a dream, a few years ago, that I was Charlie Chaplin
And I lost my kid at the age of 23 and I wss devastated, I mean I was 23, and he was 6,
Mind you Ron, Buddha told me, my kid, is too much for me and my wife to handle and Ron
Said, it's hard to lose a child, and the new foster family thought so too, and Ron thinking
He lost his kid through death and said, have you thought, of trying to find your kid, and
Charlie said, I broke off with that ***** and started to have visions of being Charlie Chaplin
And I have no idea of if I ever see him again, but if you can find a way, I would go with you
Mind you it give me closure, cause really all I did back then was just drink beer in front of the television, watching the footy, and I was at the MCG for the 1996 grand final when
The kangaroos beat the swans, and I cheered and partied all night with the Roos, and
When I got my kid, I said one day, I will take you to a grand final,one day, but, we never
Made it, and it looks like we never will, and I have been in this ****** psych ward for
So many 3 weeks stints, cause I really want to be with my son, but, the adoption agency
Keeps ******* me around and it drives me really crazy, Ron told Charlie, what is your real name, if you feel safe enough to tell me, and Charlie said it is Noel Gordonsmire, but I hated
That name as a kid, but I grew to like it, but when my kid and wife left me, I said **** Noel
I am Charlie chaplin, and I am a real person, and I really did do a silent movie, my parents
Tried to get me into a few groups of today's silent movies and I enjoyed them, and that is why I am Charlie Chaplin and Ron said goodbye and clocked off and went to the coffee shop and had a milkshake a cappuccino as well as a vanilla slice and Fran said how was your day, and Ron said, this kid, was brought into the emergency room claiming to be my
Dead grandfather and his Buddhist father gave me a Buddhist teaching and I found out Charlie chaplins new name, who is another Noel, and he had a kid taken from him by an adoption agency, mind you, this man, looks to me, he could be a great father, and he is
Heavily into the kangaroos footy club, when he gets out, I am shouting him to a footy game
I am promising that tomorrow and Ron went home and half left over Chinese and sat
On his balcony and watched the cars down on the road, you see, he really had a change of heart, or maybe a spiritual change, Buddhism really sunk in today, he say there, for hours
And hours, looking really serious,


Sent from my iPad
You see I was George Washington
The first president of the United States
And after my life of Albert Waldron
A famous Adelaide Melbourne footy star
I became Stanley Roberts
Who was born in 1930
Stanley knew he had a gift
As well as knowing the world puts you through situations so you can
One day know your past life story
Stanley was the son of John and beryl Roberts and the younger brother to Judy
Judy wanted to be a princess
And me, well because of my gift
I was having bad nightmares
And these nightmares meant nothing
Because I had a best friend named bobby
Who seemed to understand my gifted past
But still he wanted to be a normal kid
I couldn’t understand this
Especially when I wrote him a note
Explaining my issues
And 4 days later
I saw him burning something
Which at the time I thought was my
Letter and then in 1937 on my 7 th birthday
I made the baseball team for Manhattan pistols and bobby was trying out for it too
And he wasn’t so lucky
So I decided to concentrate on
Bring a great baseball player
And be the best version of Stanley Roberts
I could be and I was given my grandfathers
Old baseball bat
Now as I was in the psych ward
Both times I had dillusions which I couldn’t explain and then in 1943 when I made high school I was ready to play PRO baseball
And I was very popular and bobby was lonely and a ****** because he bashed his parents and killed them and was sent to juvenile detention till the age of 18 where he was killed on the electric chair and a test later in 1949 Stanley turned 19 and was too worried to persue his career as a baseball player and I auditioned for broadway where in the televised Macy’s thanksgiving day parade was apart of and I did that in 1950 too but in March 1951 a group of pit bulls attacked Stanley outside the Bronx swimming pool when I was meeting my broadway friends for a swim and this was a case which turned into homicide till they realised it was a pack of dogs that killed me
And in 1952 I became Graeme Thorne and I was living in Sydney Australia And my gifted visions didn’t happen this life and I realise now that the visions keep me safe from being kidnapped after my tragic last life and everything was going well as greame he was a choir singer and met the great Arthur summons and in 1960 Graeme Thorne was kidnapped and thrown to the sharks and this was a wake up call and in the 60s was a hard time being a lot of young babies which died after a few months of existence and in 1969 Brian Allan was born and his life started the same way as Greame’s but then Brian went crazy doing stupid things but as a kid he was normal and in the 90s he was normal too well apart from bashing his loving parents and that could have got me in gaol for a long time but after hearing about the troubled times of September 11 2001 I was trying to be nicer to my parents and it lasted untill 2004 when I was getting Stanley’s visions coming back to me in the form of silly dillusions which lead to me killing the family cat, which was a crazy thing for me to do and I was sent to the psych ward where I was thinking I was being kidnapped and the psych ward was to me like a old age home and I felt it was the entry to heaven which scared me so much and I was there for 3 months and I still had silly dillusions which lasted for a while untill I tried to ignore Stanley’s gift and went back to work and I went to batemans bay in 2004 2005 and 2006 as well as playing Santa at vinnies where I felt part of the establishment and then I was becoming very well I went back to Adelaide in 2009 where my previous life Albert Waldron lived and I felt very welcome and I saw the Adelaide christmas parade there and then I went to Merimbula where I partied on New Year’s Eve to the pigs music band and in 2012 I was really hyped up in the establishment I went to Adelaide again and I saw the Christmas parade again and albert’s spirit was on top of me and I was feeling Stanley’s gift and then I went home I got another job at ACTEW and in 2013 I was in the psych ward where I became an artist with delusions but despite the screws not giving a **** about me I was writing poems drawing pictures to my hearts content
And when Christmas came I left the psych ward and I wanted to do something good so I did the cartooning course and joined a theatre group where I expressed myself with the gift of Stanley which was starting to fall into space I told the whole world my problems like sending emails to different addresses around the world and I started reading poems in the poetry slam, my first poem was I get headaches from champagne
And after that I read many more and in 2015 I left but then I became the ornament to a personal trainer and he made me lose Stanley’s gift which when he went to gaol I started to understand that coronavirus was taking people’s fun away and everything was cancelled at the start and I was watching online concerts and Netflix and YouTube and suddenly tonight I was taken on a journey where I was Darren Stephens from bewitched and I saw my best friend bobby and he assured me that he didn’t burn my letter it was a few other things they were burning when I saw them  and I saw my girl friend of 1947 who brought my mind to think that Stanley wasn’t gifted
He was nice and when she died in 1997 bobby said Stanley had no gift but I was sure I had a gift and bobby said, the reason why Stanley died so young was because he thought he was special ya know
Better than everybody and each death was a wake up call saying for me to live in the real world and not think the gift means something, it is just silly dillusions that you can’t control and I felt I was back in the psych ward learning my life stories abs suddenly Jupiter moon blew up with methane and we couldn’t get out suddenly With my plans to work and join singing groups etc my dad gave me methane pills to help me become good next year and get over this coronavirus and the gift of Stanley became an urban legend and suddenly I thought I was born again
Briano alliano performs on Jupiter

Hi dudes and dudettes
Welcome to my concert up here on Jupiter and it is time to have some fun and here is my first song for you called robbers and bandits

You see as I walk down the city streets
I see these robbers and bandits
Trying to take my money
Saying please please honey
Can I have your money
You see we are poor and
We have no place to call home at night
I said there is no need to rob me
I will give you $2 to $5 and I know that might not be enough
But I am just as hard done by as you in a way
The robbers and bandits said
To me we need your blood
And we need your money
I know you might not like that
But it is our only way
So just give us $3000 ok
If you don’t you will die
Personally I prefer to be positive
About how silly they are being
Trying to rob a Good Samaritan
Like me, you here about it on the news and you don’t think of it happening in real life
But I think it happened and I have to just sit back and say
Robbers and bandits had me again

The next song is push me to the limit
You see when I was young
I was really cool
I used to tease my dad
Who I thought was being conservative too
You see he came up to me and said
C’mon I will fight you I’ll fight you yeah I will
But he was trying to make me stand up for myself
And I thought mate I needed to put pride in myself
But I know dad didn’t mean to
As such but he pushed me to the limit oh shucks
I was just being a normal kid
Teasing my father and being rude
Dad hated what I was doing to him
He gave me medication to calm
Me down
It worked for a while but then
I completely lost it
When the drugs I was taking
Started to push me to the limit
I hated it I really did
But fighting the people that were trying to help me
Well, this wasn’t cool
So I decided to obsess about taking the meds, even if I got
Strange dillusions which I didn’t want I sat there watching
Family programs on tv
Because of the fact I have
No family of my own
It worked out ok till one day
The dollusions came and I did something bad and straight to the psych ward I went
You see the doctors were bad
And i thought they
Pushed me to the limit in an unusual way then my dad said to me just stay with your friends
And let them help you
But it was hard and I felt pretty ****, so I sang fly burgers loud and strong

The next song is I want to go to the movies
Oh I want to go to the movies
To see a movie that is cool
Like raising Arizona and beaches and ghostbusters
I felt pretty cool
Then I saw polar express and then I saw Arthur’s Christmas
And superman returns as well as goal yes that makes me feel so divine and if I don’t feel like going there I will watch movies on tv like Harry Potter da Kath and Kim code and pirates of
The carribean too
Yes they are all good movies
And yes I will enjoy them a lot
Drink a beer or a methane smoothie yeah oh yeah
These movies are great

What a song this next song is living next door to a party
You see we are trying to watch
Our shows on tv
When a great big loud speaker
Played music so loud
And the swearing, mate wasn’t quite as good we need to fix
The noise because it’s deafening and after that
The television played around
You see the computer chips
Were playing around
It is all because we all
Were living next door to a party
Listening to swearing and loud music and people swinging around and hanging up and hanging down and partying good yes we hang around outside pubs and yes we are cool but me I thought these people are in no club, and they have to be careful not to break anything, but they don’t care as they party loud and you find it hard to live next door to a party

That was a good song yes it’s groovy our next song is called mmmm donuts
Oh yeah I love my donuts
I feel like Homer Simpson
As I bring down my donuts
Yeah I love them they are nice
Mmmmm donuts mmmmmm donuts I love them I love them
Yes when I eat a donut
It melts in my mouth
I feel like a little sour ****
As I eat one down and then the other
I give the donut to my mother
What if she does the donut rap
And partied down
Up up up up and down down down
You see if you look like Homer Simpson you must say
Mmmmm donuts every single day
Mmmmm donuts every single day c’mon party the Homer Simpson way

Thank you Jupiter crowd and that was mmmmmm donuts the great song and now here is my waltzing Matilda
Once a jolly young dude
Partied from club to club
Dancing with all the girls in there
And after that we drank some taquila shots you’ll come a partying with Matilda oh yeah
I love a party really really partying I might not look it
But I am a social guy
I go to events to party down with the party dudes
Oh yeah
Then we got down to the great
Football club we watched the game and listened to the band
The music they played was cool and very very hip and the girls asked me to dance
I danced an unusual way everybody looked at me
Thinking I was a tad crazy
But I didn’t care because I am a party dude you’ll come a partying in the football club with me

Thank you dudes and dudettes and now here is a great song called this is *******
Ahh this is *******
Really really *******
The crap you are trying to tell me is driving me up the wall
I hate that crap I really do
So why do you want to play ******* to me
Ahh this is *******
Oh yeah this is *******
Watching ****** reality television which doesn’t mean a thing
Ahh this is *******
Really really *******
You see they play gridiron
And they play ice hockey
And yeah it is party time
I like partying and I like teasing
The conservos as they are doing their jobs
You see ahh they speak ******* total total *******
Ahh this is *******
It is total *******
Watching the crap they speak on sky news on win
You see it is right wing crap ya see
As the oldies sit there with their cup of tea
Yeah that is *******
Total utter *******
Yes ******* comes around
In their mouths every day
Yes they do
Ahh they speak *******
Complete and utter *******
And that is the truth
Or is it ahhhh *******
Thanks guys and gals and I want to say this enjoy Jupiter and I will see you when I come again.
Courtlyn Quay Jun 2015
"Once more," Richardson said grabbing his hat and throwing it into the air. the  ball cap slid up through the air slicing the light from the moon and stars. The sky clear on a french night. The soft smell of a bakery near by.  All that one could hope for was in a night like this. And as I came back from thought. I could see the corners of my room. holes, beaten and torn. Here I am, lying around. in this **** smelling rat den. Where some coke head chose to go round two with his *****.
captured in the psych ward, new year special




it’s new years eve and ron bought along his punch bowl and a few sushi dishes

as well as party sandwiches, to make the people in the psych ward have a good atmosphere

for the new year, and this year charlie chaplin man was going to read all of his poems as the

entertainment and the nurses did a lot of work so the patients feel calm enough to enjoy

charlie’s show, so medication time was before the show and even charlie, because he was worried

he would yell very loudly if he didn’t and then it started

ron said, ok guys we are going to have a mini new years eve concert run by this man charlie chaplin

charlie said, welcome and happy new year and my first song is   The schitzophrenic


You see I am sitting at the mall
I am having dillusions of people teasing me, and I wish this will all stop, oh please, just leave me the f..k alone
And then I hear voices that aren't really being said o hear Jon killed my best friend named Fred, the thing is I have no best friend, oh year
1 2 3 4 do the schitzophrenic
From the first diagnosis till the day you reach 45, you see if i take medication it can be controlled yeah oh yeah
I am schitzophrenic
Then I went to see my psychiatrist and he told me, to try and get a life, I told him I was blackbeard and John F Kennedy, he just threw a smart *** comment my way, I thought that comment was rude and ******, yes it is hard to be liked when you do
1 2 3 4 do the schitzophrenic
Yes it's easy to do, just let me hang out
You see with my medication it can be controlled, ooooh
I am schitzophrenic
You see I get paranoid when I see people around and right wing governments want us locked up
It mighty hard to have this illness and I cab say this
1 2 3 4 do the schitzophrenic
Do it once and you get all hooked and after that you feel like a geek, cause your a schitzophrenic, and also with medication it can be controlled
Oooooh I'm a schitzophrenic
Yes, that's true

charlie said, that was a great song and it’ll get you started ya know, the next song is maybe later


maybe later, i will get what i want

maybe later, i will rediscover the beauty

of being alive in this great world

it’s just a long-awaited journey

from beginning to end

and i will try and enjoy the moment

in the psych ward spotlight

i say, please slow down, your moving too fast

please almighty one, let me live long enough to give

a poor old soul a home

they don’t want a bench and they don’t want an old burnt out hall

it’s not fun for me

to look at these big buildings

with hot shot business types, when your not one

it’s enough to drive you mad

please make me except it could be later




the next song charlie sang was standing on the inside looking out, a song that explains what we are going through


standing on the inside looking out

standing on the inside looking out

standing on the inside looking out

in the psych ward trying to get better

you see i was visioning i was in glenelg bay

but instead you get doctors saying how are you enjoying your day

i wished i was well and enjoying my life

instead of being in here wasting away

then i called out to almighty god

and the best i can get is a man who claims he is jesus christ

i said, no, were you nailed to the cross

and he said yeah after i rode in on my horse

and i said wasn’t it a donkey you ran in on and i was

standing on the inside looking out

standing on the inside looking out

standing on the inside looking out

in the psych ward trying to get better

i was getting bored, so i asked the nurse

to give me a pass out to the cafe

because i was starting to lose my mind

and when they said no i let out a little wine

i said please please please, mate, this place is driving me mad

the inmates here, smell really really bad

so the nurse made me a banana smoothie and i said thanks

and took it away to my bed, walking past every room before mine

i even tripped over a piece of fishing line

then i sat down in my glenelg bay apartment sipping my smoothie saying

standing on the inside looking out

standing on the inside looking out

standing on the inside looking out

in the psych ward trying to get better

dinner time came and i had fish and chips

it was ever so discusting, ya know like hospital food

i opened my orange juice and gave it one almighty sip

and i ate my chocolate mousse, yeah it is as tasty as

when dinner was over i went to the TV room

to watch the news and home and away

then some dude came into watch it with me

and he said, did you know i was GOD, i said, no

as i sat there thinking i was

standing on the inside looking out

standing on the inside looking out

standing on the inside looking out

in the psych ward trying to get better

standing on the inside looking out

standing on the inside looking out

standing on the inside looking out

in the psych ward in the psych ward

in the psych ward trying to get bet-ter


charlie chaplin after that song was over sang his small poem titled a smile has nothing on us, here goes


whether you let out a big smile or not

you could add it to your melting ***

what you need is a great big melting ***

big enough to take the world and all it’s got

every thing that you can eat

my rundown car is really neat

the coffee urn is piping hot

boiling whether you like it or not

but your smile comes through and through

like a fresh flower, blooming every day for me and you

i try to smile all the time

cause  it’s very fun to do

i like smiling, cause it’s fun



charlie then announced his next song saying spare me, because when your poor you always say spare me. here goes


spare me some money for the bus

spare me some money for the bus

spare me some money

so i don’t look like such a dummy

spare me some money for the bus

spare me some cutlets for my tea

spare me some cutlets for my tea

spare me some cutlets

and some vegetables

thank you very muchlets

spare me some cutlets for my tea

spare me some wine to go with that

spare me some wine to go with that

spare me some wine

so i can feel so divine

spare me some wine to go with that

spare me some chocolate for after that

spare me some chocolate for after that

spare me some chocolate

so i can have what you have

spare me some chocolate for after that


charlie then said, my next song is every day is a day of disappointment because being here really *****


Every day is a day of dissapountment

One day as I was walking down a busy street, saying g'day to everyone who u walk past, then I went back through the park and I saw so many walks of life, from the beggars asking for money and the rich refusing to give it to them, and it all sounds so crazy as I walk through doing nothing like that, after that I felt a bit peckish, so I went to the take-away to buy myself an hamburger with egg and bacon and there was this weird looking fella standing at the door, greeting each customer with a smile, he didn't really work there, but he will never be told to leave, cause he ain't a threat, oh no, then after that I went to the grocery store to buy enough supplies to last me for a week, or maybe more, I could hardly know, then after that, all that shopping made me a bit thirsty, so I went to the sports club and drown my day away, with a ice cold fosters lager or a ice cold can of VB, after that I will get so drunk o could hardly stand up and my friends drove me home and they also walked me inside, just to make sure, I don't collapse on the front lawn, you see, your day seems to go from good to bad, if you make the wrong choices and that makes every day, a day of dissapointment, after that horrible night on the *****, I got up and had a hangover cure, consisting of two raw eggs and worcestershire sauce, yes that sounds so very tasty, yes I love it and live by it, it really makes me feel like I can have a party in my mouth and everyone is invited to spend about a year or so, at the local sports club doing one thing every single day, and then after that you won't seem like every day is a day of disappintment for everyone on this earth



charlie then decided to pretend he had a best mate named albert waldron and back then albert gave him lyrics to a song, here it goes



Alfred Waldron looking back, oh yeah



You see I was a great footballer, man
Yes, I was so ace, but it was a long long time ago
About close to 1 hundred years
You see I payed in South Australa
And I played footy very well, and after the match
I would go to my car, and get my BBQ an start cooking the snags
Yes, I loved that, it was really really cool
Everyone thought I was an average cook
And they all came over for some meat
Yes, I even had some nice cold beers
Yes, I think thats so very cool
As I cooked the meat, the other players were saying
Come on mate, cook us some nice beautiful Aussie snags
I also played cricket, for South Australia as well
And I even took my BBQ to the cricket for after match food
The only way you can do that now, is if you just stayed local
And some days, like at the footy and the cricket
Every player got very vocal
I was a real Australian guy, who loved to play, footy or cricket
And I loved the BBQ at the end, yes it was so esquized
Yes I had the muscles, and I have lots of those
Everyone enjoy eating a snag a sausage
And then an egg and bacon roll
Since that footy life ended i felt cool


ron said to charlie just one more song because people are yelling and we can’t control them, but charlie we will have the midnights fireworks for you, ok



charlie said he has got his fresh old legs going wild here it goes


they will dance

they will run

into the midday sun

they will race

warm embrace

be a bit lazy

head to the pub

go to the shop

to buy some clothes

angels coming down

worshipping the town

playing football

driving cars

around the good old town

having drinks with the guys

fresh flowers for sale at the shop at SHOPRITE

SHOPRITE SUPERMARKET

CUTTING ALL THE FOOD BILLS YEAH

spiders coming through the window

to destroy all mankind

makin g lamb for dinner

nicest you’ve ever seen

i said i will stay home and watch my mate, mr bean

yeah, your fresh legs go wild

when they do all these things

and before the end, charlie got the entire staff and patients to sing auld lent zine at 10.00 pm

because everyone was getting tired and cranky
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And never brought to mind?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And days o’ lang syne!

Chorus:
For auld lang syne, my dear
For auld lang syne,
We’ll tak a cup o’ kindness yet
For auld lang syne!

We twa hae run about the braes,
And pu’d the gowans fine,
But we’ve wander’d mony a weary foot
Sin’ auld lang syne.

We twa hae paidl’t in the burn
Frae morning sun till dine,
But seas between us braid hae roar’d
Sin’ auld lang syne.

And there’s a hand, my trusty fiere,
And gie’s a hand o’ thine,
And we’ll tak a right guid willie-waught
For auld lang syne!

And surely ye’ll be your pint’ stoup,
And surely I’ll be mine!
And we’ll tak a cup o’ kindness yet
For auld lang syne!




ron and charlie were helping each other clean up while the other patiens were being injected with ******

from yelling too much and after the cleanup was done, charlie went to the TV room to watch the fireworks

that were on at midnight on the TV, meanwhile, ron clocked off and went to the pizza hut and went home to

watch the fireworks on the TV thinking, today, ron made charlie a happy man, by letting him do his concert

it wasn’t till midnight but they can’t do that in the HDU.
Take your meds take your meds
You gotta take your meds
Take your meds take your meds
I’m too normal yes I am
But I need to take my meds
I want to get reformed oh yeah
You see I can be cool yes I will
If I take my meds oh yeah
You see I want to be normal
And have no problems
I want my keep in control with my mind
But I can’t, I need to take my meds
I have dreams of being with my old school friends
And I want those dreams being real
At the start I didn’t believe in dillusions
I thought anything that came in my mind was true
I ended up in the psych ward
And placed on an order to take my meds oh yeah
I thought people should give a ****
What I do give a **** what I do
But when I
Take my meds take my meds
I am normal oh yeah
I don’t annoy anyone oh no
Take my meds take my meds
I want to have fun oh yeah
But I gotta take my meds
Take my meds take my meds
Everyone needs to enjoy having me around
And I need to take my meds
I should behave I should be brave
Having fun is great
But it comes at a price
Taking meds is great
You end up nice
Oh yeah bow bow
Having fun is great
Take your meds take your meds
I want to get reformed oh yeah
I really want to be reformed
But I want to feel happy
And I am happy right now
Because
I take my meds take my meds
I am normal yes I am
Because I take my meds
Take your meds take your meds
I am having fun getting rid
Of dillusions oh yeah
And I don’t like people trying to bring my dillusions to life like a trainer I once knew
No name mentioned
hi dudes



today i am suffering from a pain in my ankle, i have no idea

how it cam about but it’s there, i go to bed and ask athena

to spray methane over it, and she does, and i feel great

i don’t know how it started but when i was doing the barbecue

last saturday, it suddenly started to ache, mind you i was feeling

a minor ache a few days before, i couldn’t stand up, mind you

i was trying to stand, but i just had to sit down, it made me feel like

such a bludger, but every night i am going to ask athena to spray methane on it

and i will drink orange soda, you see there is a poem my mother read to me

called acka backer soda ******* acka backer boo acka backer soda *******

i love you, and i imagined the babies eyes lighting up, i foot is getting better

but it still feels a bit sore, but i still sleep well as athena is working on the

pouring of the methane on it, i got my new glasses yesterday and i look a bit like elvis costello

but hopefully my foot will get better with all the methane i am getting poured on it

you see athena isn’t perfect, you must be able to remain low stressed, and nobody

is perfect or nobody is a robot and can’t fix up as quick as a fiddle stick, but mind you

people try and not be sick, just because i have a sore fought it doesn’t mean i am negative

i watch shows where people on life insurance with their poxley smiles to say when

they die everything is going to come up roses but my leg is still hurting a bit, and athena

is the best worker for me because she is cheap, but that doesn’t mean she ain’t true

the great gas methane can work wonders for your feet,i am trying to do my tapestry

and my foot is finding it hard to be a table on top of my leg.

you see i remember my mum and late father said my poems weren’t family friendly enough for

the internet, but when i went to outer space i saw athena and then sang a few songs at neptune

the first song was do the shitzophrenic
You see I am sitting at the mall
I am having dillusions of people teasing me, and I wish this will all stop, oh please, just leave me the f..k alone
And then I hear voices that aren't really being said o hear Jon killed my best friend named Fred, the thing is I have no best friend, oh year
1 2 3 4 do the schitzophrenic
From the first diagnosis till the day you reach 45, you see if i take medication it can be controlled yeah oh yeah
I am schitzophrenic
Then I went to see my psychiatrist and he told me, to try and get a life, I told him I was blackbeard and John F Kennedy, he just threw a smart *** comment my way, I thought that comment was rude and ******, yes it is hard to be liked when you do
1 2 3 4 do the schitzophrenic
Yes it's easy to do, just let me hang out
You see with my medication it can be controlled, ooooh
I am schitzophrenic
You see I get paranoid when I see people around and right wing governments want us locked up
It mighty hard to have this illness and I cab say this
1 2 3 4 do the schitzophrenic
Do it once and you get all hooked and after that you feel like a geek, cause your a schitzophrenic, and also with medication it can be controlled
Oooooh I'm a schitzophrenic
Yes, that's true

and when i finished that song was finished i went to the bar to drink 45 gallons of methane to hopefully make me walk a

a bit better as opposed to looking like an old man on his last legs, i know when my legs give way

and that is when my brain stops, surely i might have my legs amputated, but if i ask athena

to give the right dose of methane and if i rest my leg when i awake, but i must walk occasionally to

make sure it gets better and i say if you have sore feet, roll your feet over a tennis ball to make

athena’s magic will work, you see the god of thunder will get the methane and roll on you

just like thunder does
OUR LIKE US, BRIAN, ONE OF US


YOU SEE WHEN I WAS YOUNG I WAS KNOWN AS A LITTLE SHY BOY

WHO TRIED TO LIVE MY LIFE, BUT I FOUND IT HARD, BECAUSE I HAD DELLUSIONS

OF BEING TIED TO A STAKE, AND KILLED, ALL BECAUSE I WAS A TAD SHYER THAN

THE OTHER KIDS, IN FACT, I WANTED TO BE AS NICE AS PIE, BUT I HAD THESE

WEIRD PSYCHIATRICAL PARANORMAL DILLUSIONS, WHICH MADE ME **** MY FAMILY CAT

AND BE CARTED OFF TO THE PSYCH WARD, AS WELL AS GRABBING KIDS LEFT RIGHT AND CENTRE

ALL OVER CANBERRA IN THE 1980s, YOU SEE I HATED PEOPLE TEASING ME, AND I THOUGHT PEOPLE

WANTED TO SAY THAT I WAS STILL BEING HASSLED, I DON’T WANNA BE HASSLED DUDES, THEY JUST

WANNA SAY, I AM HASSLING BRIAN, THAT SOUNDS SO RAD, AND DESPITE HOW MUCH HE TRIED, DAD NEVER HELPED ME

HE SEEMED TO GET CRANKY MORE THAN ANYTHING, , THAT WEIRD VOICE OF YOUR LIKE ME AND MUMMY BRIAN

AND YOUR ONE OF THE ADULTS BRIAN, IS FUCKEN DOWNGRADING, DAD THOUGHT HE WAS HELPING, BUT INSTEAD

HE DOWNGRADED ME TO BEING SHY, PLEASE, NOBODY PUSH ME DOWN TO BEING SHY, NO MATTER HOW COOL IT LOOKS

I KNOW I WAS LIKE A SHY HOOLIGAN WHEN I WAS A KID, LIKE PLAY COOL FOR LITTLE FAMILY KIDS WHEN I WAS WITH MY MATES,

I STILL COULD HAVE BEEN CURED FASTER IF DAD WASN’T AS ANGRY WITH ME, BUT HOPEFULLY DAVID AND LISA CAMPBELL

CAN CALM THE SOUL AND MAKE THEIR DAUGHTER A NORMAL KID, AND HER PREVIOUS LIFE OF MY DAD, CAN WASH DOWN

ALL OF HIS OLD FOGIE NONSENSE FROM HER SPIRIT, BUT DAD WASN’T PERFECT, MUMS NOT PERFECT, MY BROTHER ISN’T PERFECT

I AM NOT PERFECT, MY OLD SCHOOL MATES AIN’T PERFECT, EVEN IF I A LOOKING AT KIDS MOO COW AND SHIPS, I AM NOT GOING

TO HARM THE KIDS, I LIKE KIDS, BUT IN THE 80s, I WAS MORE STUPID, THAN 2013, MUMMIE DEAREST, AND I HATE BEING LOCKED

IN A PSYCH WARD WITH THE CRAZY PEOPLE, EVEN IF I HAD VISIONS I WAS A CRAZY PERSON, CAUSE I FOUGHT MY DAD AND TEASED MUM

ONCE I PUT A RUBBER SPIDER ON MUM, BUT MUM AND DAD, WERE HAVING ISSUES, WHICH MADE THEM BE TWO SHY ADULTS, THEY HELPED ME

BUT THEY WERE TWO SHY ADULTS, THE ONLY HELPING THEY DID, WAS GIVE ME A HAPPY FAMILY, BUT THEY ARE NEGATIVE ABOUT MY FUTURE

WHICH DRIVES ME CRAZY, I WOULD LOVE TO HAVE A JOB, IN ANOTHER CITY, BUT, MUM IS TOO HELL BENT, ON NOT FUNDING, BECAUSE SHE WANTS

ME TO FEND FOR MYSELF, I DON’T WANT THESE YOUNG DUDES TO WIN THEIR BATTLE WITH ME, I HATED THOSE YOUNG DUDES, THEY ARE GETTING

INTO MY HEAD, IN THE FORM OF MY MATE PAT, SO DAD, GO TO WORK ON THE FUTURE AS ELIZABETH CAMPBELL, LEARN DAD LEARN, BETTY

I FELT KIDNAPPED WHEN I WAS ON RISPERIDAL, WHERE THE CHIPS KEPT ME IN OLD FOGIE TERRITORY, AND MY CARER ANDREW WANTED ME CONVERTED

OVER TO HIS WAY OF THINKING, AND I POINTED OUT JOHN THE BAPTIST BEING AN EVIL MAN, HE WAS, BUT DON’T TELL MUM.

I LOVE BEING CREATIVE WITH ART AND WRITING AND YOUTUBE ENTERTAINING, AND I LIKED THE COMFORTABLE LOUNGES IN NIGHTCLUBS AS I DANCED

TO SONGS LIKE JOEY FROM CONCRETE BLONDE, MY MATE DITCHED ME, I DANCED TO TINA ARENAS  I NEED YOUR BODY, AND OTHER GREAT SONGS

BUT I STILL LIKED LOOKING AT THE MOO COW AND SHIP FORMATIONS ON KIDS LEGS, BUT I LIKE KIDS

I FEEL KIDS HATE ME NOW, BECAUSE, I REPORTED KIDS TYING THEMSELVES UP ON YOUTUBR, DUDE, THAT CAN BE DANGEROUS FOR THE KID, IT CAN

ENCOURAGE HOOLIGANISM AND PHEDAPHELIA, AND I CARE A LOT MORE ABOUT KIDS SAFETY, IF ANY PHEDAPHILE OR HOOLIGAN, SEES KIDS SUFFERING

AFTER BEING ******* ON YOUTUBE, THEY WILL START TO LURE THE KIDS INTO THEI CARS,

STOP TYING YOURSELVES UP ON YOUTUBE, LITTLE DUDES, IT AIN’T COOL, AND I AM SPEAKING AS THE PRINCE OF COOL

YOU SEE THE REASON WHY I WENT TO THE HOSPITAL, DUDES, IS MENTAL HEALTH SAY I AM WELL, AND I WASN’T GETTING ANY HELP, BUT BOTH TIMES

I ACCEPTED HELP, PLEASE MENTAL HEALTH, I AM WATCHING STORIES ABOUT DELLUSIONAL BEHAVIOUR ON YOUTUBE, PLEASE DON’T FUCKEN FALSE HOPE

ESPECIALLY IF I HIT BIG TIME AGAIN, AND I WILL, I ALWAYS WANT A CASE WORKER TO KEEP ME OUT OF THE CRAZY PSYCH WARD


H       E       L       P       M       E        D        U       D      E      S
Schizophrenia schitzophrenia
You are a schitzo schitzo schitzo dude
You are a bit mental
And you have no brains mate
You are a schitzo dude oh yeah
You need to beg to have a better life
But personally you could run into strife
It is a desease that can make
Me feel sorry for them
Some people can be better people on their own
But schizophrenics have to have their meds to be better
And I feel really sorry for them
Because it can be a struggle really mate it is
The rich calls them schitzos
Big schitzos as they are having problems yeah
Because most of the time
When they were kids
They were as normal as pie
But overall most schitzos
Fall apart at 20
And that is a mighty real shame
When I was a kid I played basketball
I was in the school concert
I watched the footy with mates
And I was a bowler too
And then I fell apart
Like getting in trouble with the law
And my head was trying to push me down like people started to tease me
My mates didn’t want me around
I had to hang around in the city
And at the mall
I just needed a mate to hang with
But I was a schitzo
I went back to bowling
Playing better than as a child
Making me feel great oh yeah
But in other ways I was learning
More about mental health
In the wrong way
I was getting dillusions
Which made me do what I didn’t want to do
And sometimes I can’t get my youth back
I needed to grow up
And get my mind out of the gutter
And move on to being the best version of myself
But all the jobs I want are impossible for me to get because I am a schitzo
I want to make a difference
I want to come out of my shell
I am certainly not shy
The word the cosmos gives me
If I want to move on is a ****** schitzo
Everything is moving away from me
And my past is coming back to haunt me
I don’t want to be a schitzo I want to be the best version of myself
I want to be a warrior in my life
It is better than being a negative schitzo
Please I need to see people
Act like I am a changed man
No mored dillusions for me mate
No more dillusions ever
Call me cool getting the better of my illness
The schitzophrenic


You see I am sitting at the mall
I am having dillusions of people teasing me, and I wish this will all stop, oh please, just leave me the f..k alone
And then I hear voices that aren't really being said o hear Jon killed my best friend named Fred, the thing is I have no best friend, oh year
1 2 3 4 do the schitzophrenic
From the first diagnosis till the day you reach 45, you see if i take medication it can be controlled yeah oh yeah
I am schitzophrenic
Then I went to see my psychiatrist and he told me, to try and get a life, I told him I was blackbeard and John F Kennedy, he just threw a smart *** comment my way, I thought that comment was rude and ******, yes it is hard to be liked when you do
1 2 3 4 do the schitzophrenic
Yes it's easy to do, just let me hang out
You see with my medication it can be controlled, ooooh
I am schitzophrenic
You see I get paranoid when I see people around and right wing governments want us locked up
It mighty hard to have this illness and I cab say this
1 2 3 4 do the schitzophrenic
Do it once and you get all hooked and after that you feel like a geek, cause your a schitzophrenic, and also with medication it can be controlled
Oooooh I'm a schitzophrenic
Yes, that's true
Captured in the psych ward


Today Ron got out of bed and
Had cereal and toast and then went to the hdu because he found out that his usual hangout burnt down overnight
By a man who has a lot of violence in him, you see this man suffers from schitzophrenia and has these dillusions of Fire being the answer, you see when he burns something down, a voice he claims is gods but it is really
The delusions in his brain saying do it do it do it
Burn it down and collect the insurance and go overseas to travel and everything will be alright and Ron had a lot on his plate with momma rose two weeks after patty roes death
And then this strange man entered the psych ward saying
I don't belong here with no hopers and sick people and
Momma rose went over to him
And said what are you in for
And he said I torched a place down to collect the insurance
To travel around the world
And Ron came in and took the man aside and started to understand why he would do
Awful things to businesses and homes and first of all he said his name was Harry and then he said God wants me to do this, you see if I torch a place i
Can collect the insurance and go overseas and Ron said what Makes you think in your mind that anyone will give you insurance for that and Harry said God always helps the little guys just like me, you see mate
I am different from other people
And Ron said what makes you think that and Harry said you see everyone worries about not
Being able to have kids and me
I don't care because there is so much you have to do
1 look into which school to enrol
Your kids into
2 buy food so your kids don't starve
3 pick up and drop off at school
And sporting events
Ahhhhhhh
And momma rose came over
And said Harry, do you want to escape one day, I know where they keep the keys
Because I have people on the outside I want to **** or destroy
And Ron said momma rose can you please leave me and Harry alone and momma rose walked away saying **** your *******
******* and Ron decided that
Harry should be trailed on chlosophine because there are a lot of violent thoughts flying around his head and Harry said
My mate Patrick doesn't want to help me, so he planted his voice into my head saying we don't like you anymore and Ron said we need you to understand the nature of your actions and Harry said I know what I did was right for me and Ron said you need chlosophine right now
And later that day they had  dinner and then Ron bought out the medications and momma rose said I know I killed George Washington but why should I stay here I am better now
When I was a kid we went to hospital to have operations and
Not stuck here watching tv
And Harry said shut up ****
And Ron clocked off and bought pizza and retired to the couch while momma rose played nice mother to Harry
Explaining every show making Harry very mad but he just let
Momma rose talk and that was the first day of Harry


Sent from my iPhone
Pressure in the ses pool..
Relax my child unwind..
I hope you wish to climb,
For the larger wish to dine.
They season you with hate..
Mix you with dillusions..
So no one really knows..a viable solution..
Hi, my name is Brian Allan
And I was an alcoholic
I wanted to show myself
More important than I actually was
I went into every club
Wanting beer and getting drunk
And I wanted to party
I still now want to party in some ways
Or another
But back then I was getting kicked out of clubs for being drunk and disorderly
I know I loved life back then
But I pretended to be the boss of a tv Station called AAA
I used to be in squabbles with my family because they refused to
Play with me
But they were living in the real world
Thinking it was crazy to still be living
In a makebelieve world in my house
I used to have a messy house
I tried to make my house a party house
By putting empty beer bottles around the house
And when people came over to get drunk with me I would stand my ground
I used to get bullied and teased and fought just because I had a weird way of loving life
I went out at night to Las Vegas pub in Canberra and blind beggars inn Canberra
I was an awful person
I nearly got killed or punched for speaking my mind
I hung around the city all night
Nothing bad happened but if i did that again
The situation wouldn’t be as rosy
I felt people treated me like a koomarri to muck around with
And sometimes bully
I stopped doing that in 2004 despite having an alright time dancing
But I was with the people that teased me back then
So I said, I want out
But it was hard because I like to have a good time but I had to grow up
Cause I was showing no signs of my purpose in life which is I want to have fun doing what I want but I must say
Within reason because deep down I hated the people who teased and bullied me back then
When I was first was an artist I toasted my art with champagne but
I was getting tippsy and I stopped doing that because I went to the psych ward I went to the psych ward twice in 2004 and 2013 for having weird dillusions probably because of all the alcohol I drank
I express myself in art and writing
And my new purpose in life is learn performance art so I can fit into society
I still hear those voices of who bullied and teased me back then but not like back then, those voices are not true
I hear about other people get bullied like I did and it forces them to end their life but not me, I loved life too much to want to end it, mind you the thought of death used to scare me, it still does despite me knowing I will come back to another life
But I don’t want to finish this life
I nearly got caught into taking drugs
I gave him $20 and sat there waiting for him
But I got bored of being in there so I left
And I got teased by him ever since but
Then it stopped because I showed no weakness
You see saying all this doesn’t make me weak it makes me strong
Saying all the trouble I caused whilst
Trying to party hard
People are talking to me now
So I don’t want to live in the past
My name is Brian and I was an alcoholic but not anymore
Hi dudes and welcome to the Saturn community concert and our first guest is Kathryn Roswell who was my grandfather in her previous life and she is singing with Martin the Martian
With a top hat here they are
Their first song is agadoo
Which goes like this
Agadoo doo doo push pineapple shake the tree agadoo doo doo push pineapple grind coffee which was Kathryn’s fave song where she knows the words and the actions to and then she sang elvis Presley’s song love me tender which was a song she loved to sing to me ya know her last life’s grandson and then after that Martin the Martian who was John Mahoney from the tv series Frasier singing
I am a Martian with a top hat and I have no tie and I am ready to party all night when your young you will party
To forget about reality and have a little fun oh yeah party right
Yes everyone is ready to party with
Me and Kathryn yo here on Saturn
And I get my top hat and as I am wearing no tie
Just the perfect shade of green
I am a Martian with a top hat
With a naked green body
I am ready to party yeah
C’mon get out your top hat
And put on your dancing shoes
And party party party all night
And then Kathryn and Martin the Martian played a lot of seventies and eighties songs and everyone got down and danced, the songs were
Dancing queen abba
Sweet home Alabama
American pie don McLean
Standing on the outside cold chisel
Duncan slim dusty using all the names of the people here
And then they left the stage
And bon Scott came on stage with Michael Hutchence and Roy Orbison
Michael on drums Roy vocals and bon
On bass guitar they sang
Pretty woman
You shook me all night long
Suicide blonde
You got it
Who made who
Need you tonight
Handle with care
Thunderstruck
Devil inside
And then they bowed to the audience thanking them for dancing and left the stage
Then the crazy hip hop dancers from Jupiter who were Daniel morecombe
And Graeme Thorne who is me now on earth and Caleb Logan and they danced to great songs like
A hip hop version to YMCA village people and Stan from Eminem and another hip hop version of karma chameleon from culture club standing on the inside looking out which is a song I wrote and performed at the poetry slam and the last one was come on aussies come on the old cricket song and now we have some cosmic belly dancers coming out
Their names are Kim Davidson and Bridget bromhead and Ruth cracknell and they shook their bellies to chicken dance
And nut bush city limits and a Christmas song jingle bells and good ship Lollypop and rock and roll music
And after that the swinging yobbos came out slim dusty Alfred Waldron who was another previous life of mine and my currents life’s late father Barry Allan who is now Betty Campbell
And they sang songs like waltzing Matilda and fly burgers which was my first poem I wrote and a tisket a tasket which we showed our inner ***** and then we played all the afl theme songs starting with Sydney Adelaide Carlton Brisbane Melbourne
West coast Fremantle port Adelaide
The gws giants Gold Coast suns north Melbourne hawthorn st Kilda Essendon Richmond and Collingwood
And finished with the green machine
Canberra Raiders song and we left the stage then I came out to sing this song before the fireworks
It is called the schizophrenic Macarena
1 2 3 4 do the schizophrenic
From the first day you were born
To your current situation
With medication you can be reformed
Yeah mate yeah I am schitzophrenic
Don’t worry about my best mate
His name was rob butler
I wish I could explain it because I know
There was no best friend named rob butler
You see if I was married to Susan brown mate and if I had a family
With two sons David and mike
I know they don’t exist
But in a way I wished they did
And I am schitzophrenic
1 2 3 4 I am schitzophrenic
From the first day I was born
To my current situation
With medication I can be reformed
Wow yeah I am schitzophrenic
I like Christmas
But I am a Buddhist
I like the peace behind it
Despite being anything but at peace
With my crazy mental illness
Then I jumped in the back seat
Of my best mates cab
But the thing about it is
No mate of mine has ever drove a cab
Except Stan niemic but it is not him
1 2 3 4 do the schitzophrenic
From the first day I was born
To my current situation
I wish my childish dillusions will go away cause I hate being schitzophrenic oh yeah bow bow
And now here are the beautiful fireworks and that lit up the sky for 21 minutes, it was beautiful
Bye everyone and I will see you at the next cosmic community concert
Goodbye dudes
Don’t try and change me
Every part of my life
Don’t try and make my poems better
Don’t try and stop me from enjoying family vlogs cause they are fun
Don’t try and change my chain of thought
I am a positive person who loves life
I hate people trying to change me
Trying to say my voices are true
Even the mental health dillusions
Please don’t try and change me
I am not you, I can’t be perfect
That is impossible to be perfect
I am trying as hard as I could to
Exercise right, I don’t want anyone
Who thinks they know me better
Than I know myself to dominate or change me
I might not want to do anything you want me too
Don’t try and change me
Sometimes in life you have to speak your mind
And I don’t want to make excuses
I just don’t want anyone to change me
Never never never my friend
I will say I am not you
I am me I am me
I have the answers about myself
Not you
So, mate don’t try and change me
Please stop trying to change me
If I get lightheaded it is what I say
Bit what you think
I know my body better than you
I know you don’t like bullying
But changing people is a form of bullying and I don’t approve
I have a mental illness
And I do believe I can get work one day
I do believe I can achieve me goals
And not the goals you give me and
Say they should be my goals
Please mate I don’t like people trying to change me
Just because I don’t look like I have good goals doesn’t mean my mind is muddled
I am not different in a queer way
I am different in a way that everyone
Is different in their own way
So don’t try and change me
I love life I care for people
Don’t try and be a part of everything I do because you worry about my lifestyle
That is changing people that is bullying
I hate that it drives me nuts
Don’t try and change me
PLEASE leave me alone
ZACK GRAM Jan 4
11pm decemember 31st 2023 i meditated an shook earth so hard i cause a tsunami i speak wat i wrote was spoke an heard evacuate occupy new egypt babylonia west central Gods real i hate to say im living proof i told you about the roman library now they look at the mud flood my frequency is above the fermament i have lived life after life before the womb in the womb and after im doing a test i havent slept so far i grew 3 inchs an gold dust is everywhere and my insides are turning im past the point returning i been long dead so if an then how or why to be determined i pray so much its hard to grab reality look at north carolina cities during the civil war those were not cannon ***** they were carpet bombed erased placed over writ like the mandella effect the loom shall bear a basket i spoke saved for history an now will happily build my own casket like the grey skys no clouds no sun no stars no moon just a winter noon we might survive tread lightly now its your turn to accept responsibilty for everyone dillusions on how im king earth dear lord pray for them i die for their sins so they can ascend i was chosen like all these island bois out here dying to try... the list goes on
The List
I feel like
Someone is sitting on me
Pushing me down
So I don’t feel relaxed
I want Patrick Enright
To leave me alone
To stop pushing me down
I want to feel cool
I want to feel relaxed
I want to have fun
Sometimes I feel it is my hooligan
Going from giving me itchy feelings
But suffocating my body
I feel Patrick is pushing the
Hooligan into me
Sometimes I feel
It is the fact that it is my cholesterol
Which could be causing it
Or it could be old time hooligans
Pushing me down
When I hop into the shower
Patrick said you are stuck
You are losing your energy
I don’t want fucken old time hooligans
Pushing me down
It could by skin cancer I have on my lip
**** I will be glad to get that off my lip
You see it could also be me just having
A schitzophrenic panic attack
I feel like god is pushing me down
Everyone is giving me an anxiety attack
Please stop please stop please stop
I feel like I am going to drop my phone
Lord knows I dropped my glasses
I had to reach over as I am having
My panic attacks
I Brain is weak my hand is dropping
Everything
I feel like I will want to use the seroquel
To push it away
But I am not like frank Woodley
Saying the panic attack olympics
The suicidal javelin
Making having a panic attack
Being an Olympic sport
Sometimes I feel like
I was feeling like I did in 2004 and 2013
Both years I went to the psych ward
I was excercising and I had weird dillusions
In which I didn’t want to get rid of
I feel like saying
**** ******* DROP DEAD
I watch the Sheffield shield cricket
Where records are being broken every day
I sometimes feel like getting a panic attack
When my carer always quotes me
Like when I say a family of musicians
Is just like mine
He will say did they put a guitar in your hand and play it
I said there are other reasons why
They are like my family
Politicians are driving me crazy
The coronavirus is driving me crazy
End of next year is the possible start to the vaccine but there is no proof the vaccine has been found
Trainers telling you to go to bed early
But deep down he just wanted to
Stay up and play with the kids
And now he is in gaol
Suffering oh suffering
But he needs to change
He needs to learn that talking to kids online
Is wrong
Very very wrong
Last night I watched Halloween concerts
You see covid can’t stop people from having fun @ Halloween
Please stop pushing me down
RIGHT NOW
Kieshenieroe Oct 9
On the first day I became a moon lover,
A new discovery that is full of wonders
Lying down dreaming at the starry night,
Gazing on the vast universe full of stars,

Me who first sight at the beauty of the Moon
Every shapes and angles are like a carved out gem,
A luminous orb that shines in the stillness of the dark,
Keeping my sanity in it's bright moonlight

Here I am sitting in the Moonlake,
Thinking what it feels like to have you in my hands,
A pond where it mirrors the beauty of the night,
Fishing your reflection just to grasp your light,

The Dillusions of wanting to have someone
Is the same as the blue moon in the sky
But still here I am admiring this moon although, it doesn't bright as much as it was than before.
The wind that rocks the cradle
the hand that shakes the barley
the magic in the moment is  memory
who are we?
You dont believe in miricles for you have never found
evidence that's physical
my N word look around
look at us existing, I think therefore i am
look at what we're living.. the greatest show in town
where did all this come from?
what does it all mean?
any answer is unbelivable..so to doubt the unbelivable is obscene
you find no evidence in nature
but super-nature's outside this
only those in love can feel the loving in a kiss
your everything is nuts and bolts, youre only skin on bone
I wonder if your real eyes see a house is not a home
maybe you dont believe in miricles
because they dont belive in you
maybe like your sceptic brain
your heart they see straight through
and my beliefs are dillusional?
Just illusions that i see
Yet 'atom' means invisible and they're almost matter free
so dillusions and illusions are also your reality
and even you are a dillusion
you're just an illusion that eye see

— The End —