"deperate" poems
The petals, lovely as red violet gossamer sheets, tumble down
The plant, livley as a deep red carpet, haunts us
It whispers to me
The petal hits the ground and the world draws one, collective, wistful, silent breath
The thorns protrude like spears through a wounded man; with malice
They warn me
A sweet leaf crinkles a shade of brown no leaf should be
It flits down
My head spinning
The leaf hits the ground and the dizzy pleasure is overwhelming
She cuts and gnaws and breaks through the stem.
"Mommy will like it, Mommy will be happy"
Mommy is happy, happy her daughter killed.
The flower, in its last deperate gasp calls to me, it screams to me
it pleads and begs
then wilts
The most beautiful corpse
It hangs supended in the cage of one young girl's hand as its comrades continue to be uprooted, finding home in the mass grave of a crystal vase.
What a funeral, all the family gathered around these warriors, yet the family ignores these limp soldiers.
Then the next day, these majestic martyrs no longer seem satisfactory and their processtion of far off glory marches away,
to the bin, where it finds home amongst bannana peels and
last night's
dinner
Oct 8, 2012
Oct 8, 2012 at 5:39 AM UTC
Speeding down the road
In my shiny silver corvette.
The wind blasting my face,
Only open country highway
Coming my way.
So I fiddle with the ****
On my old radio
To find something worth playing.
Crackle
A man calls out,
Deperate in his attempts
To get the attention
Of the most beautiful girl
Who's with another man...
Next!
Pop
A woman sobs loudly
Over losing her true love,
Over being left alone.
She wants the deserter back
But at what cost...
Flip!
Pssshht
A couple find each other.
They are destined to be,
To have the beautiful wedding,
To raise the perfect family,
To live the American Dream...
Turn off!
My god
They are everywhere
No wonder my life's
A love song
That must be why
I want to hold someone
In my arms
In my heart
In my mind
So, so badly,
I want to find someone
That fits me
That loves me
That's THE ONE
Of course
I want someone to call me
Boyfriend
Love
Husband
It is plastered everywhere
All these childhood fantasies
All this innocent thinking
All this wonderful imagining.
And I devour it all
Because I have no reason
To believe it's impossibe
Even though it'll be hard.
You might think I'm
Pathetic and foolish;
You might call me silly;
You can laugh away,
But my life is a love song
And I bet yours is too.
You just haven't thought about it.
It's probably best if you try not to.
So my life is a love song.
Is it something you'd listen to?
Sep 20, 2010
Sep 20, 2010 at 10:59 AM UTC
The snow flakes fall heavily;
Icing over the barnhouse roof,
Turning the fields to cream
And the haystacks to floating cakes.
The early ice cut the land deep.
The crops and cattle will die.
Leaving nothing but icy confections.
And the farmer will only have
One withering cherry tree
A gorgeous tree
With icicle leaves
And branches like fingers
Begging for warmth.
It has the beauty of standing
When all else has fallen.
But the staunch defender
Has seen life's torments.
It's seen summers pass
With the drying of land,
And autumns come and go
With the changing of clothes.
She had been as
Fair and pure
As the cherry tree.
An innocent youth,
Radiating inner joy.
A prize not worthy
For the noblest king.
Yet she loved him so,
Making there parting
Much more dark.
She withered away
One winter's eve
And with one last breath
She whispered "my love".
The farmer bore the task
And with his own hands
Laid her to her bed
And planted the cherry tree,
A grave mark, above her head.
Three weeks pass
And the snow still falls
The fire no longer burns
Old age keeps the farmer
A prisoner in his house
And being a deperate man,
He takes up his axe
And goes into the yard
In the following spring,
A young couple in love
Journeyed by the house
Where there eyes fell upon
The grace of a cherry tree.
And beneath that the tree
Was a farmer buried in a
Soft pink funeral shroud.
Too dignified to harm
The last remaining mark
Of his lover gone.
Sep 20, 2010
Sep 20, 2010 at 11:16 AM UTC
My heart it weeps for forbiddon love,
your dark eyes that haunt mine when my eyes close,
My lips yearn for the touch of yours,
So deperate to reach on my tip toes.
Your tall muscley frame,
Your angled cheekbones that are made by an angel,
Your arrogance that I used to hate,
Without it my life would be hell.
When you ignore me my world breaks in two,
the emptiness that I feel in my heart,
You have made me love,
To forget my broken heart and re-start
I know this has no structure,
I don't really care about that anymore,
I just wanted my thoughts, my love,
and just how much of you I adore.
Jul 6, 2010
Jul 6, 2010 at 9:03 AM UTC
Away from everything
and everyone.
Isolated.
Shut off.
Closed down.
By oneself
Fear.
Is this an emotion?
Or is it a joke?
Not very funny
It's a sunny day
Clouds broke
parted company
No humour
No wit
This is it
the horse held the bit
between its teeth
Like a wreath
on a door
Lonely.
The horse by itself
among the hay.
Paying the price of isolation
a sad matter of opinion
An isolation
Desperate times call for deperate measures
A bird in a forgotten nest without feathers
without food isolated from the world with
no bit in its beak, not even a little bit
just lonely, the word I am using quite a lot
Because I forgot the plot as it were.
Isolated, do not get me started
my feelings parted long ago
It is complicated.
Sep 29, 2014
Sep 29, 2014 at 10:49 AM UTC
The pain's finally done.
You had finally won.
Your own personal hell you can no longer define.
So you can finally say
everything is fine.
But never before have You been so mistaken,
So naive to think it was over.
That because You had beaten it once,
That you'd forgotten the pain,
Everything would be fine.
But that veil was violently ripped from your eyes
When the demons inside
Showed you the things
That They know you despise
Things about yourself.
They whispered
you're useless
No one cares
You may as well die
Look at the damage you've made
And the pieces you failed to regain.
And you let them keep talking
you suffer in silence
Because you wouldn't dare
To bother the people you love
with something So stupid as yourself.
So once again you were ****** into hell
And the flames of the words burnt your soul as you fell
Never before had You felt so alone
Despite have loved ones right their in your home
But in hell, you don't see them
Just as they don't see hell burning round you.
So as your soul burns inside with their words and their hate
You can only just fake a smile and wait
For the ashes left behind by the flames
So you can hold them close
Because that's all that remains.
And so you cut yourself open
Because you're deperate to try
To bring back the life
that those ashes once held inside
But that's not the case
That's never enough
Your life is now gone
It's nothing but dust
So you just give up.
Because what's the point
Of trying to live
When your life's all burnt up.
So out go the ashes
And in come the chains
That wrap round your neck
Because nothing remains
But this useless shell of a body
That will also not stay.
Because now as you hang the rope to the sky
As you sharpen the blade that will be your final good bye
You know just how badly you're going to hurt those you love.
You know those words you wrote are not even close to enough.
And it only makes death seem more inviting.
That silence your mind is so desperately craving
Yet your body still fights
For what it thinks is a life
That the pain and the sorrow
That beats you within
Is worth this pethetic excuse of a life.
So when you can't cut the veins
Or kick out that chair
You realize that even at death you can fail.
You can't even manage to **** yourself right
Youre stupid you're dumb
Yeah, you're useless alright.
So in sickening defeat
You go tell those you love
That it happened again
You guess last time just wasn't enough
And you're sent far away
To be cared for and treated
Like something ready to break,
And for god knows how long,
Your mind just goes blank.
Thankfully as time go's on,
your hell fades away
And once again you can see light of day
You feel ready to cry
with joy and relief
Because at last
The pain's finally done.
You had finally won.
Your own personal hell you can no longer define.
So you can finally say
everything is fine.
May 19, 2014
May 19, 2014 at 10:48 PM UTC
They say
"When you grow up, your heart dies."
My heart?
My heart has been dying for a decade.
(Somehow it's still beating)
It wasn't until I found myself
In some strange men's beds,
On the bathroom floor,
So deperate to feel alive,
To feel anything at all,
That I realiezed
I've already grown up.
I've been dead inside for years.
She stole my innocence when I was merely 4 years old.
Along with the bottles my "unconditionnal love" for him was gone too.
All these drugs,
I swore I'd never do.
These cigarettes,
Have broken the last of my rules.
The razors I used to not know what were for
(Let alone, understand how someone could get pushed so far.)
Have all made their marks on me
Literally
I look in the mirror and I hardly recognize the reflection,
And I see all my lonely nights painted upon my skin.
I've been told you can taste my heavy heart on my lips.
Smell the smoke.
Touch the scars.
I've grown into the person I swore I'd never become.
Apr 7, 2014
Apr 7, 2014 at 11:46 PM UTC