lost in a world that was once mine
it gets better or worse or indifferent
as it goes by
who knew it to be the healing i'd see
a bit of of bitterness over time
but you ask and i always say
i'm fine

the colors i see are complex in shades
some words are foreign to me
right from the page
in my head you say is a box of lies
just a shallow pity brigade
so ignore the tears in my eyes
hopes shatter and fade

pain is an excruciating promise
that the current host remains the strongest
misunderstandings and judgmental tongues
will clean the slates of blood from beatings done and i am left with
scars from all of this

kindness and love are rationed into moments more deserving
as if it is only when i may die
that you find me worthy
to shed a tear of hurt in an existence you don't know
yet you still mimic what's before me

a mockery you have made of total devastation
to a life once radiant with positive preservation
on mornings i can't bear to face the day
you throw daggers in my back
in accusations

this disease it steals my life
it has much ransacked my brain
but you,
you
you have taken everything else away

and i've nothing left to gain

Stop telling me I'm gorgeous,
I'm nothing.
Stop telling me im pretty,
I'm fat.
It's unhealthy,
My weight,
My feelings are slowly
Deminishing...

I'm falling to deep
I would cry for help
But
Nobody would hear me anyways.

Why do I put myself before a judge?
Ruin a blank slate like a smudge on a paper
Deminishing emotions that are beginning to taper
Singing songs of sorrow that borrow that double tied fishers knot in your stomach
Wishing that angler would pull out a nice catch and remove that bubble
You know your in trouble but can't help yourself out
Put your faith in others and have no doubt
Work your program shout it all out
You might not feel like a ten but keep doing it, its not the end

The magic is gone
sadness reigns
if it's not anger
it's pouring rain
Lost within the madness
of fighting again
Love all but forgotten
as we take it on the chin
Communication styles
of anger and hurt
deminishing what's left
of my own self worth
Another day of wishing
I was simply gone
Insides churning misery
the pain lingers on
My world upside down
as darkness lets me hide
The pain remembered brightly
as the sun glares it's shine

My life is no life in any light
My heart feels only pain even  breathing has weakend my soul.
I look  into the eyes of  delectation and feel despair l to look back
I beg for  some jubilation  to take my soul and release me from misery
thats all I see and feel is the dispair in my eyes
How can one look unto another in this way and insert nothing but  evil and then portray glee for the deminishing of their heart
Double bladed are the Hippocrates that adore admiration.

Sliced Jugular vein
           Blue wrist
Fates fatal,cold kiss
           Body of blood
Coronation of death
           Deminishing life
The rotting smell of flesh

Ceased to survive
             Smouldering corpse
Decaying carcass
              Unnaturally enforced
Hair of spider web
               Deaths new bride
Funeral of the pulse
               Riddled with acide

Creature of havoc
                Crawls into bones
Eyes of maggots
                Crumbling tomb stone
Laying in the pits
                The worms eating brains
Bound there forever
                 Until crumbling from deaths chains.

today i feel everything and nothing all at once
broken memories collect themselves in the pit of my stomach
spilling out between the gaps in my ribcage
leaking through the spaces like morning light through shutters left wide open
today i feel distant
today i feel lost
today i feel like the ground pushes against my feet
hot summer concrete branding its heat into the calloused soles of my feet
my imaginary feet
for i am everywhere and nowhere all at once
i exist in places that don’t exist
my metaphysical body breaks itself into pieces and spreads itself across vast scapes of nothing
searching for thoughts that i cannot reach
my bones position themselves between pages within forgotten bookshelves
my nonexistent bones
i run out of air more times than my lungs can inflate and deflate like round balloons
i run out of words more often than my invisible body solidifies and melts again in the undoing of my defeated mind
beaten with sticks
disfigured by rocks
diminished by mephitic smoke
the malodorous devil
entering my mythical body through any empty space it finds
cutting me open and flaying my brain into two broken halves
the right holds my desolation while the left cradles my emptiness
and perhaps it is this split within my body that rejects my will for omnipotence
and offers me defeat in a package tied with string
perhaps it is that this will does not exist
my fabled body deminishing itself into ashes spread across the universe
perhaps it is that i am not everywhere
and i am not nowhere
i am here
and i do not feel a thing

the diminishing

we have not noticed yet, a few old folks dying
they are not being replaced by new births
and then there are fewer people than before the young
remind unborn as older people die,
we take no notice at. First, farms are unattended and
the vegans are first to ring the alarm bell
not be a cause of no cow, but the lack of grain.
The world population is shrinking, like the rivers
and lakes were we used to swim.
The emptying of humanity is unstoppable we are
on the way out we made a mess out of the world
and now the piper wants to be paid.
When only a hundred peoples are left, they will
commit suicide as no one wants to be the last
the person in the vastness of nature-

Unsuccessful at what they do
Do what they're told to do
Not in the best manner possible
Lacking the trust of friends and family circles
Bad at accepting defeat
Which is consistently their feat
Higher Value deminishing
After they were part of it
Yearning for respect
Always a suspect
Never shown interest
Treated with disrespect
Ignored unless of use
Also ran since school
Angry and absents himself
Return to find that was never missed
Failing regularly at task in hand
Incompetence goes hand in hand
At a disadvantage in any situation
Low esteem casting shadow
All directions giving shade to his sorrow
Joker of the pack
Clown of the room
Cartoon in the ballroom
Comedian of his dominion
Snubbed with ease
Always ready to be teased
Made to apologise
Unapologetic behaviour from the other side
Showed away like a number
His name no one cares to remember
Swatted away like a fly
Best weapon is to go home and cry
Walks away without a whimper
Treated badly in society
Even that not in the memory
Misfit tired of facing the heat
Other misfits have reserved his seat
Nothing concrete to speak
In his life time becomes obselete
Lowest point on the percentile graph
None bothered to even pass a remark
Been there done that
That's how I know it so well
Life added complex already born with
Brutal and Savage conduct from birth dealt with