I'm trapped in her memory
Like a hamster
Still spinning the wheel,
Every step
Digging into my feet
Like every second
Consumes time
Oxygen In a fire
Slowly being depleted,
But I'm still going
Thinking I'll escape somehow
But the familiar squeak
At every full turn
Snaps me back
A misfired rubber band
And the sting
Startles me awake
Like I'm still on the same bus
And I'm never going to arrive
At my destination,
Every instance I catch my breath
I release my will
To be freed,
Her love like a carrot
Just within reach
Eternally...

APAD13 - 144  © okpoet

I want a swing
To sway between
The moon and the earth,
A hammock to lie
Between Canis
Major and minor,
Let me row a boat
One paddle
Through
The milky way,
Let me pedal
Across the galaxy
On a starship enterprise trike,
I want to race
A shooting star,
Whittle meteoroids
Into beautiful
Paper weights,
Surf the rings
Of Saturn,
And play
Laser tag amidst
All the space debris,
Let me be astronaut...

APAD13 010 - © okpoet

Don't you know
My mop and glow
Is brighter than
A star over Mazatlán?
I'd be more than spittin'
While you're just there sittin'
This ain't just a game
Though it be the same
When they say don't hate
The player when you're just at the gate,
I fill all the stadium seats
And provide all the player's cleats,
Yeah, you get my drift
Like after hockey left to sift
For teeth and glory
Only half the story,
Through blood and ice
I don't just play and act nice,
I am red riding hood's wolf
Watch out or you'll get a hoof
On your forehead wear it proud
The only crown you'll wear in the crowd...
APAD13 015 - © okpoet

I feel like
I'm learning
To live
With a handicap
Disabled I am,
I'm learning to walk
Without you,
I'm learning to speak
Without you,
I'm learning to not feel
Without you,
To strive on ahead
And deal with the world
And the stares
And doing everything
On my own
Without you,
And at the end of the day
After I'm tired of it all
I feel the pain
I feel the broken
Parts within me,
And I know
I'll have to do it again
Tomorrow; healing
Without you...
APAD13 - 047 © okpoet

I'll love you
From silky smooth
To wrinkled,
From sane
To senile,
I'll love you
From sandy blonde or brunette
To ashen grey or balding white,
From twenty/twenty
To glaucoma,
I'll love you
From hushed whispers
To hearing aids,
From skips and hops
To rascal scooters,
I'll love you
From fast food and coke
To ensure and depends,
From broken fingernails
To fractured hips,
I'll love you
From baby boy
To great grandchildren,
From skydives
To rocking chairs,
I'll love you
From glitter
To pill reminders,
From off the lot
Until rusted into the ground,
I'll love you
From now
To forever,
From hello
To the grave...
APAD13 - 058 © okpoet

I haven't seen you
In forever
And I'm constantly
Finding myself,
Trying to remember
Like I'm afraid
I will eventually forget
And you'll come up
Like an old song
On the FM radio
That I hardly ever
Listen to,
Top hits of long ago
That feel like another life
When I thought
Nothing else
But of someone else
Outside of me
From within me
Trying to get out
Just to find you,
And now I'm slipping
Like soap from your grip
Will you ever catch me again?

APAD13 - 129 © okpoet

What will bring
Us together
If not a hook
And a fishing rod?
What will keep
Us together
If not duct tape
And krazy glue?
But the line
I cast long ago
Remains slack
Not long enough
And the bait
Long ago lost,
The cap
On the glue bottle's stuck
Won't open
And the duct tape
Has lost all it's strength,
So I walk
And wander
Then I sit
And wonder
How shall I try
To reel her in again
How shall I proceed
To keep our hearts
Bound together
So that no distance
Will fade us
From each other's minds
So our love
Will make the oceans
Seem but a teacup
Between us...
APAD13 - 068 © okpoet

I will never replace him
But I can eclipse his memories,
He like the moon
Still casting shadows
From the past,
And I the glowing orb
In the sky shining fierce
And bright
Trying to blind you
To all that he was,
But you wear your shades
And I can't pierce through,
Still reminiscing
Thinking there was
Maybe something
You didn't do
Didn't try,
And so if
The light fails,
Then I will try
And warm your world
Until you peel off
The heavy coat
And layers of regrets
Weighing you down;
Letting you welcome
The sunrise of our future
And watch the sunset
Close on the past
You're moving on from
As I'm here to be
Your steadfast friend under the sun...
APAD13 - 055 © okpoet

Simply stunning
You were,
A glint of sun
Radiant ray,
From your
Sapphire smile
And diamond eyes
I was blinded
Blind sided,
As a  fiery ball
Just beneath the visor
A lingering sunset
The shape of you,
That pierced
My windshield
As I sped down
Not taking my eyes off
The view,
And would I crash
Still entranced
By your intense
Focused tractor beam,
Interrupted only
By the words
That I couldn't hear
And all I could do
Was nod and smile
And nurse
My wounds,
Soon to be
Further scarred
By the likes of you...

APAD13 - 120 © okpoet

I liked you
Yesterday,
I'll like you
Tomorrow,
I like you
Today,
I'll like you
Day after day
Even after every
Sundae,
I'll like you
From every
New year
Through
Every leap year,
From time
To time
I'll keep
Liking you,
Because hey,
What's not to like
About you?
I like you
Even if you don't
Like yourself,
I like you
Even if you don't
Like me,
But I really really
Love you...
APAD13 - 108 © okpoet

I still do
Find a smile
When you come around,
Not real like physically
Being there next to me,
But the kind of
Coming around
In my head,
Like there's a carousel
In my skull
And somehow
I'm standing
There
In one of my eye sockets
Watching it turn
Sometimes so fast
It's all blurry
But the colors
And the lights
Amuse me to no end,
But I'm just serious
Observing
And then it slows
Just enough
That I can see you
A different outfit
A different thought
And I laugh...
APAD13 - 056 © okpoet

In the depths of sad
I found I had
But one smile left
Crooked though it was
It still had the hooks
Sharp as could be;
To hang all my worries
Upon that smile
Nailed onto my face
Centered under my sad sad eyes
A bowl to hold my tears,
This was my smile
I wore proudly,
Until it crumbled
And broke off,
I rummaged again
Tried to find another,
Sifting through
The dried up shards
Of my heart
And all the torn up
Memories,
Rotting compost heap
Deep within
My chest,
Foot locker
Of my soul...
APAD13 017 - © okpoet

She drains me of words
Like at the end of a bath,
And I'm left with the stopper
Dry as a prune
Until I can
Once again
Replenish my thoughts,
Come again
Under my shower
But I'm just a mist
Lightly saturating
Her once more
Like the moisturizer after
But she shaves and dries
It all off,
What of it all
Has she absorbed?
I can't be coke
Left to go flat
Crushed soda pop can
In the sun
Unable to redeem myself,
Won't you give me a nickel
For my love?

APAD13 - 131 © okpoet

She was my non sequitur;  
Like that hottie
From the south of Ecuador,
So nice yet so ******;
But this one was my interrobang
Questionable excitement,
To her laughter my ears lent
Cautious echoes that sang,
Of the skies sunny and blue
Where the beaches were
Anything but mild
And the babes
They were so wild,
Yet the endless raves
Seemed so few.
As she was my turbulence
Distraction under calm seas,
****** cadence
With a purr
Like a swarm of bees,
No other will equate to her,
Why I met her; and never will again
I'll never know for sure, but then
Aren't those the ones we yearn the most for‽
APAD13 012 - © okpoet

There's just
A few knots
Left in her head
Before she loses
Her mind,
She's had
More than just
A couple of knots
In her back
From carrying
The weight
Of the world,
She's got
Just a few knots
Of words left
She'll write down
To explain why
It's come to this,
She's just
A couple of knots
Away from unraveling
Just enough
To hang from,
At the end of her rope...
APAD13 013 - © okpoet

You're ugly
So ugly to me,
You'll always be
The ugliest I've ever seen,
But before you
Slap me hate me
And walk away
For saying so,
Do you realize
That ugly is just a word
And I haven't let go
Holding you close,
Because no matter how ugly
You think you are,
I love you so,
I want to ravage you
Every minute
Caress every inch of you,
And I'll never ever walk away
Proudly stand next to you,
Because beauty is everything,
And the beholder knows
Ugly is an idea
Like f@ck is a 'bad' word,
And I just f@ckin' love you
Just the ugly way you are...

APAD13 - 26 © okpoet

I'm looking up
At the full moon
Feeling like a fool
Under the midnight noon,
Thinking about how
She changed me
And then she left,
Would my tears
Be like footsteps in the sand,
My pillow the shore
That absorbs my steps,
Realizing how even after
98% of my atoms have changed,
That 2% will always remain
The same because of her,
The imprint of memories
Like ducklings
But I was too soon set free
Into my too calm a pond,
And I tell myself
I should have run away
Whence I came upon her,
Like a black cat,
But what superstition
Could give a heads up
Before I lost my head
My heart and my soul,
I a headless horseman
Ambling through the night
Until the dreaded sunrise...

APAD13 - 139 © okpoet

The anticipation is heavy within me,
Clouding my every thought
I feel light headed as you
Shut off the flow of life
Around me as nothing else matters,
I can savor the hesitation
Between the airlock
Of our lips,
And then it's a vertical wrestle
Across the floor
Shucking off clothes
And then we stop,
That millimeter
Space between
The contact
Of our bodies,
I can almost feel
Your delicate suggestion
Of hairs rise like static,
Electrifying
The first beads of sweat
As our skins graze
Like the first seconds of an ice cube
When barely you acknowledge its temperature,
The first sip of summer's cool lemonade;
Or is it the very finest of wines,
That's no longer here nor there
As I cling onto your body
Pleasurable friction,
Solid yet malleable
Against the bed trestle
And every other strong surface,
I feel the smoothness of you
Against the rough callousness of my hands,
And I feel I could never let go,
No questions words or thinking,
Just heart, need, and want
And crave, and hunger
Salt lick,
I want to deplete you of air
And replace it all with passion;
Sweet, our bodies shivering
Like crack fiends,
No athlete could keep up
In this heat feel
The slightest caress of a breeze...
APAD13 003 - © okpoet

I use to like
The shiny things
The gold the silver
Anything nice
Expensive and loud,
I adored the envy
Yearned for the jealousy;
I saw how the others
Tried to have
What I had,
But those shiny things
Couldn't keep me
Warm at night,
They couldn't protect me,
Listen or be my friends;
They were lifeless
Heartless and emptiness,
And then I met you;
You were shiny too
But it was a whole
Different bling and shine;
It came from inside
Radiated from you
And lit up
From your eyes;
This was not
Fool's gold,
This was a
Lover's soul,
Showing me
What was
Real treasure...
APAD13 - 034 © okpoet

I've never run
During a rainstorm,
Savoring every drop
Like Maxwell's
Has parted from the skies,
If I could
I'd add honey
And sip
A cup of tea,
Feeling
Every heavenly tear
Raining on me,
This is my bubble bath
My hot tub time machine,
The ocean coming to me
When I can't come to it,
Every puddle
A lake,
Every splash
A wave,
A greeting of the impending sun
A goodbye from the clouds
That will no longer shadow over me,
Every pitter patter
Like a rhythmic drummer
Lullaby to my heart...
APAD13 - 106 © okpoet

Con besos
Te inundare
Como el mar
Satura la tierra
Sal de mis lágrimas
Sudor de mi pasión
Por todo tu cuerpo;
Los peces serán testigos
De mi amor por ti,
Con besos
Te tatuare
Como la tinta
De todos los lapiceros
Llenan las páginas
De todos los libros
Letras de mi mente
Palabras de mi corazón;
Las tablas de contenido
Serán testigos
De mi devoción a ti,
Con besos
Te envolveré
Como las brisas
Sacuden tu pelo
Aire de mis suspiros
Dióxido de carbono
De mis pulmones;
Por todo el horizonte
Por todos los hemisferios
De la tierra al sol,
El mundo será testigo
De nuestro amor...
APAD13 – 105 © okpoet

She's still asking
More curious than
A clueless child,
She a tourist
Through my city
Of lonesome pain,
Shall I tell her
The truth behind
The vision?
Set off all the charges
And let all that
Remains,
Come to light;
The skeletons of
A dream built
In haste,
Awaiting her
Who never arrived,
Who couldn't
Board my hopes
That we would be
What I wished
And yearned for,
Empty aqueducts
Of dried up tears,
Hollow streets
With seashell
Echoes of my
Desperation,
Ghost town
Of my heart...
APAD13 014 - © okpoet

I can chalk on a sidewalk
The most beautiful mosaic
I can whittle a tree
Into an intricate clock
I can paint a most
Serene scene
I can draw
A moving image
I can mold
The most exquisite vase,
But when it comes
To the canvas
Of your body
I don't know
What else
I could possibly do
To make
You any more beautiful,
With curves
Challenging nature
I've never lost my cool
At seeing such shapes
Not like how they fit on you,
Your beauty is unsettling
Were I a toddler sorting
Different shaped rods
Your eyes for stars
All your curves for spheres
I could keep going but you must understand
We fit together
Better than K'nex and Duplo,
In body heart and mind...
APAD13 -077 © okpoet

You be the sky
And I'll be the earth
And when your body
Meets mine
It will be the most
Beautiful horizon,
Because you are heaven
And I am hell
You're my weakness
And I am your strength,
And without you
There are no stars
You are sunrise
When you wake
And sunset
When you sleep
And next to me
The starry skies
Lie behind
Moonlit eyelids
Your body
Beautiful hills
And your lips
Rainbows
That spill
Through tears
And smiles
Of golden splendor,
I wish time would still
In this world of ours...
APAD13 - 050 © okpoet

I still remember
When I toiled the earth
From morning to sundown
Sweat on my brow
Boiling in my veins,
I'd wipe away the blood
And catch my breath
Looking upon her
The dirt that lived
That supported my every step,
Every breath that escaped me
Was a sigh for her,
And now I lie
Tired and weary
Not wanting to toil again
Given up
For I could not grow
What she wouldn't yield,
Barren death
Cold frosted land
Wicked weeds of doubt,
I loved her
Through the tears
And even then
No seed would bare
What I yearned from her...
APAD13 - 115 © okpoet

If I was snow
Would you be my angel?
Leaving your imprint
Indentation upon my heart,
Footprints on the beaches
Of my mind
All your memories
Beckoning me
Like my own
Dark city,
I the constructor
Of my own reality,
You my shell beach
Inaccessible dream,
Or would you fly away?
Mistaking the white of me
For a cold barren world,
Though even in the depths
Of any wasteland
There is life
You cannot see,
Just waiting
For the warm sun to rise,
And as such I await you,
Frozen in a place
Time forgot,
My soul on ice
As you skate on by,
Maybe we'll meet
When the winter thaws
And the rivers flow
Life anew with you once more...

APAD13 - 147  © okpoet

I thought
You were so pretty
Once,
But I looked again
And looked closely
Shoddy makeup
And insecure eyes
Hiding what?
I couldn't tell
Until now,
Notice how you
Can't make eye contact
With me,
And all I can do
Is look down on you,
Thinking back to when
I would have laid down
A red carpet for you,
And now even dead rose petals
Don't deserve to fall before you,
Only ashes will linger
Like dust in the sunlight
Through the shutters
As I burn all that you ever meant...
APAD13 - 116 © okpoet

Yes I did,
Once long ago
I wanted, I wished, I yearned
To be loved,
Saw red in all the eyes
Bleeding hearts
As I charged;
Like an enraged bull
But then I felt the stab
The shocking pain,
And I tried to understand
Where had I gone wrong?
But I was just rearing to go,
I just wanted to love
And I'd charge out again,
And once more
The searing hurt
Would lacerate
Through and through
The truth betrayed
By the laughing spectators
As I tried to stand,
And the warm embrace came
But not of my gift returned
But of my own pool of death
Holding me, until I came to;
Cold as the matador with his conquest,
Though the next time I would
Wield the sword as my own toreador
Even if it was only to plunge the blade
Deep into myself
If only to end this macabre show...

APAD13 - 142 © okpoet

She doesn't have
The most melodious voice
But to me no sound
Could be sweeter,
If I listen too long
She's like a Q-tip
Plunged deep
Piercing
But painless
Burrowing
Into my mind
Making all my receptors
Light up
Like Christmas
Yet it's almost summer
Adding to the warmth
Radiating
Through me
Her voice
Like wool
Wrapping me
In tender
Loving words
Even if
All we talk about
Is the weather
Oh that she were
The little voice
In my head,
I'd never again listen
To another word
From anyone else...
APAD13 - 086 © okpoet

I was just
Passing through
I thought I'd
Order something
Off the neon lit menu,
When I heard an angel
With a little static
In her heavenly voice,
What would you like
To order today?
An order of wings please
So I can fly away with you,
Sorry we don't have wings,
Oh but you do don't you?
Fine I guess I'll have a burrito
And an icy drink to cool me down
Is your order correct on the screen?
Yes it is! I yell already moving ahead
I almost grind gears I'm nervous,
As I get to the window and I close my eyes
I listen for the sliding glass and I feel the air
Like the pearly gates opening with a whoosh
And I gaze up into heaven and there she is
With her halo and a smile ever so bright,
She gives me the total and I hand her my card
And our fingertips touch and we both blush,
She's gorgeous and I don't hesitate to tell her so;
Even in uniform she looks beautiful undercover,
I have an appetite for two but I really would like
To share a meal and time with you, when is your shift over?
APAD13 - 042 © okpoet

Her memories
Envelop me
Popped confetti
Candy from a busted piñata
Weighing me down,
Packing peanuts
Suffocating my heart
Stronger than gravity
Crushing me,
Down into the depths
Of our past
A present unopened
Unlabeled card
Under the biggest bow,
Frilly string
The veins
To my soul
The sharper the scissors
That I can find,
To cut
To severe
To serrate
Samurai blade
Through silk,
Any blood spilt
Like water through rock,
The lightest of rouge
My eyes
Stained glass
Mosaics of her...

APAD13 - 132 © okpoet

Your heart
May be damaged,
But it's a good thing,
Think of it
As a glowstick
Your heart
Like the vial
Inside not broken
All the way,
But
Give it another snap,
And see it light up
Your heart
Will burn bright
And mend;
Sometimes
We need to feel pain
Before we can heal,
Sometimes
We need to fall apart
Before we can build
Ourselves up again,
Harder; better; faster
And stronger than before...
APAD13 - 052 © okpoet

I want to look
But
She's making me nervous,
In my infinite
Peripherals
She roams,
I the gazelle
And she
The lioness
Hidden
In the tall brush,
But as she nears
I am hunter
Hiding my fear,
But one lone bead
Escapes me,
And I know I'm prey
In her clutches
Talons that can dig
Into me
Tearing me up
Like a measly mouse,
But she merely asks
For the time of day
And as she walks away
I recede back into my tower
At the ready if she beckons
To chime out the next hour...
APAD13 - 109 © 2013

I want to
Bite off your lip ring
And taste your blood
As I kiss you
Trying to consume you
Fiery in my conquest
As I travel to warmer regions
And I discover
Another set of lips
I must devour
Gripping you
Like my life
Depends
On my not letting go,
As I lap up your truth serum
The vulnerability of you
And the willingness of me
To embrace ourselves
A passionate engulfment
Of all the silent moments
That led to this
Havoc of beating pulses,
Sweat like morning dew
Gleaming off your body
I burrow deep into your soul,
Outside the dead of winter
Still lingers,
I don't ever want to leave...

APAD13 - 145  © okpoet

Ever wish you could
Walk away
Just after
That first great impression,
Know when to stop
After you've told
The perfect punch line,
Realize when is
The ideal moment
To lean into a kiss,
When to go all in
On the hand
You've been played?
Ever wish you could
Time things just right,
For once be in control
Of falling in love,
Know for sure
Hands down
You've found
The right one,
Know for a fact
That when the chips are down
Things will look up soon,
Lie back in certainty
That the tide
Will come back in,
And you'll ride out proud
On all that you've accomplished?
Some say it's just confidence
Totally feasible and plausible,
But what about the rest of us?
APAD13 - 062 © okpoet

I need you
Like I need
This next breath
This next heart beat,
In this moment
That you eclipse my mind
It's an imperfect world
Covered in darkness
Because I cannot see
What will be of me
Without you,
Because if this persists
This minute to minute
Absence of you
In my picture perfect dream,
Then I cannot
Will not
Take my next step
My next breath
Because I cannot
Will not
Continue like this
Without you,
Waiting for you
Like the next
Perseids
Just watching
The trailing showers
Knowing I won't
Live until its return...

APAD13 - 133 © okpoet

Hot kisses
From cold eyes
Dead hearts
Within warm bodies,
More bones than
Dalmatians,
And every single one
Is broken,
What if the cage
Freed the bird
And the trap
Is the world outside?
Life is easy
It's the living that's hard,
Too afraid to die
Makes for a waste of time,
The scars on your skin
Like the static on the TV
Should remind you
There is always color
Even in the dark,
We're pieces of puzzles
Our lips; our fingers interlocking
And there are no corners...

APAD13 - 127 © okpoet

He may not notice
The subtle
Fading of your smile
But I must be cursed
If I must flinch
At all
The fleeting
Changes
Of you,
Like astronomers
Study
The stars
And catalog
All their movements,
And unlike
The weatherman
Who predicts
Through all
His charts
And graphs,
I know;
Down to the smallest degree
All your emotions,
But I'm only
A foreign observer
Who can't change the channel...
APAD13 - 098 © okpoet

I'm not living;
Life without you
Time is indefinite,
I want to wait for you
Will you return?
I do not know
But I hope
In dreams
Reality will hit me,
I miss you; love,
Sometimes my thoughts
Are my only savior,
But I'm also going crazy
Thinking and praying
For the day you'll return,
It's the only purpose I have,
Drinking beer by the keg
Tasting wine by the barrel,
Days used to go by like nights,
But now; no longer can I ignore
Every single tick magnified
As I try uselessly to talk
Myself out of time's grip,
Watch I no longer wear
To know the time
But to be aware
Of it's heaviness
On my wrist;
Hanging limply
By my side,
Unable to rise
And wave hello
At another day...
APAD13 - 040 © okpoet

Maybe I do miss
Hearing my name
Dive off her lips
Plummeting
Into my heart
From the heights
Of her voice;
Parasailing
To my ears
The sweetest breeze
Like the lightest kiss
On my dreary brow,
The allure of her
Like the glow
Of jewels
And trinkets,
But that she
Could procure
From such
A simple gesture
So much
Yearning
Was the red flag
That made me flee
And once I caught my breath
I spilled my guts
A catharsis of emotions
I couldn't imagine sinking into
A quick sanded trap
I barely escaped and I sigh...
APAD13 - 111 © okpoet

She's not
Your typical girl
With her atypical love,
Loving the world
Through sad eyes,
Streamers
For tear tracks
Laughing
As she cries,
Mixed joys
Complex thoughts,
Watching
Admiring
Wishing
For a cure
To no illness,
She needs not
The typical treatment
For she is nowhere near
Stereotypical or ordinary
She is awesome and extraordinary;
Her smile for now just on hiatus...
APAD13 - 041 © okpoet

Apago el cigarro
Y enciendo otra botella,
Los pensamientos
Vienen en olas cansadas,
Mar sin fondo
Cielo sin tapón,
Las nubes distraídas
Me pintan imágenes
Que me persiguen
Como sábanas en la lavadora
Vuelta y vuelta
Ciclo interminable,
Pero no importa
Cuanto lave,
La grama sigue
Manchando
Verde como jade
Creciendo
Entre las fisuras
De las piedras
Imposible de matar
Con simples químicos,
Solo la muerte
Esperará
Ver el fin
De esta mente
Atado a un corazón
Con un lazo
Torturado
De amor...
APAD13 019 - © okpoet