"agoddessoriginal" poems
A little less oxygen
flowing under my skin
I've noticed going on since
God where do I begin
A little less oxygen
and I'm not the only one
They all walk alone with me
Without daughters and sons
A little less oxygen
Gets to my brain
cause now when I wake
Not one thing is the same
I have a little less oxygen
flowing through my veins
And I'm supposed to be forgiving
Sorry just after I'm done with insane
Do you know how it feels
To feel a little less oxygen
To forget whats real?
And think that your done
I feel a little less oxygen
Under my skin
I know a little less oxygen
Without them.
"AGoddessOriginal"
2/18/05
Mar 24, 2013
Mar 24, 2013 at 8:08 PM UTC
I must be part of your collection
Cuz you can't see
What you
Do to me
I must be waiting on your affections
till I can breathe
As you
Display me
I must be under constant protection
On a shelf
under glass
Pay to see
I must be only a reflection
Of what you like
you wanna be
Part of me
I must be part of your collection
look fast
no flash
Photography
No doubt in my mind of deception
One of a kind
Rare as can be
that's me
I must never show objections
To anything
You'll ever ask
Of me
I must display constent perfection
My **** smile
Cute dress
hair flowing
i must be part of your collection
I'm not alone
On this shelf
I know they see
I always fear your rejection
Bcuz no one else
Knows I'm here
Just you and me
Maybe you think I'm a projection
of what you are
You leave behind
a legacy
I guess I'm just a sick infection
you'll never ever
Get rid
Of me
You must be part of my collection.
"AGoddessOriginal"
4/6/13
Apr 6, 2013
Apr 6, 2013 at 4:46 PM UTC
I'm a loser a senseless user
of much needed space get out of this place
I'm an abuser a selfish moocher
Take your time I ain't going no place
I'm confused and often fooled
By your advances upon my space
I'm a user a worthless loser
Get the **** up and have a taste
I'm a foreclosure on everything
You'll let me Take
I'm an invader in your veins
All over the human race
I'm an infection leaving you breatheless
For just a little more of what it fakes
I'm a hell fire passionate desire
To be miserable in every way
I'm a toy you take out to play
Then cover all up put neatly away
I'm a fairy for you to bend over
And give her tale the time of day
I'm a destroyer don't need a lawyer
Ain't nobody even looking this way
"AGoddessOriginal"
4/7/13
Apr 7, 2013
Apr 7, 2013 at 7:59 PM UTC
I've woken
alone & crushed
By the evil around me
In unfamiliar lands
I've fallen
In deep dreams of despair
Where no one
Was reaching for my hand
Where I could not stand
I have lost
Sqaundered & regretted
But no more
I am found
Not by those who love me
Not by those who don't
i have found me
I had to stop seeing
The darkness first
I had to concentrate
With everything in me
To find the light
I created
I've had to run the race with demons
To win me back
From the despair
And child did it want me
It tried to keep me
With words
Promises of no pain
the despair snatchedme
With lies that I better right there
It promised me an ending
To the evils placed upon myself
Despair lied.
All its promises
Were only to entice me
To suffer more
it was loves lil light
That pinhole peeked thru
Loves light spied in mine eye
Even when it closed with tears
Thru it love shined
And when I
Raised my head
From the evil
That had my grasp
Thru loves light
Spread over me
Lifted me thru the despair
Washed away
The tar the evils
Spattered me with
Thru such very small words
I heard them
In my deafness screaming
"I need her life, to continue on,
I need you to shine"
Thru loves lil light
That shined
Pinhole in mine eye
I saw the tiny hand
That pushed thru the despair
As if it were only air
Holding me there
And when loves hand
Touched me
I felt all the people
I lost
And the ones still out there
Then loves hand
Touched my face
And reminded me of my own
Beauty that the world
Was desperate for me to share
I remember this time in my life
The blood on the floors
Empty pill bottles scattered
The tears of pain
And the screams
Oh the screams
I remember them clear
I tremble even now
From that time
I fear its grasp every second
Mostly because I dont know
Exactly how it got
a hold of me
Love has no longer
Let me be scared
Love has brought me thru
To you
To share
Loves pinhole of light
To shine in your eye
To make you aware
I'm desperately holding
out mine hand
Thru your despair
Thru your pain
Thru your loss
Thru love saving me
I did not know then
Thru love I was brought
To reach Thru to you
What saved me
I love and I care...
"AGoddessOriginal"
6-6-2011
Apr 3, 2013
Apr 3, 2013 at 11:54 PM UTC
I'm never gonna have the love I need to be real
It was stolen from me at birth
I'm never gonna have someone who show me unconditionally
I'm always gonna be alone
I'm never gonna have a family, to take portraits with
I'm never gonna have a soulmate
I'm never gonna be able to feel
Safe in the life with someone
I'm never gonna be normal
I'm never gonna fit in
I'm never gonna do normal family stuff
I'm never gonna be the person
Others can depend on, trust or need
I'm always going to be looked at as damaged
I'm never gonna be loved like I should be
I'm never gonna have these things
They are illusive to me
"AGoddessOriginal"
8/2011
Apr 4, 2013
Apr 4, 2013 at 12:30 AM UTC
Blue
Is
The color of love
Yes
Blue is
The way it ends up
Oh blue
Is
How much it *****
Yes
Blue is
The color of love
Oh true
It is
How you ****** up
And
No its
Not gonna help
If blue is
All that you'll sell
No
You is
A mouth that can shut
Because
Blue is
How you'll end up
Oh yes
Blue is
the color if love
because you did
nothing but stuck
And its true
it's
Gonna be tough
But I can
Do this
Because blue
Is
The color of love
"AGoddessOriginal"
4/7/13
Apr 7, 2013
Apr 7, 2013 at 6:11 PM UTC
It was dark clouds
That sprang from mine eye
And shrouded the horrors
Around my life
Vividly leaving out
Good from the bad
Solemnly stealing
The smiles i once had
All was faded and grey
Sinking so far deep
In the venomous prey
It was all i could do
To stay head above water
on those dark solemn days
The Evol surrounded me
It stole all my thoughts
Leaving me blinded
From true love whom i sought
I was cold & confused
Clearly being used
By the forces around me
Who knew they weren't true
Dark clouds
Sprang from mine tongue
Letting all know
How much i was done screaming
The medicine back to their fates
Watching
As they all drifted away
Like fishing poles
Unattended at night
Not even trying
To give a good fight
Once all the darkness
Was cleared away
I could see
The shimmering light display
And aaahhh once again
Dark clouds fall my way...
'AGoddessOriginal'
mn days
Jun 9, 2013
Jun 9, 2013 at 3:16 PM UTC
Would you follow me
Endlessly
Around the universe
Could you hold my
Memory
Without a curse
It would never be an
Impossibility
For me to make us work
if you could follow me
Irreverably
Around without a word
My heart skips beats
Masterfully
When I see your smile emerge
I couldnt say goodbye
Blantantly
I wouldn't speak so absurd
"AGoddessOriginal"
January 2011
Mar 25, 2013
Mar 25, 2013 at 2:39 AM UTC
They say
She has an old soul
tried & true
Wrinkled & new
But not worn
Her soul has seen
Many days
And ways
Tripped over puppy love
Let go of silly stuff
Her soul
Has been everywhere
It was meant to be
Now her soul
Has her life to live
Her live to give
her eyes to see
The powers that be
To bring her soul
Back to me
For me to hold
If I may be so bold
Her soul touches me
Gives me light to see
Breathes in my emotion
So I may feel complete
They say she has an old soul
One who already knows
All about me
And the tears I weep
"AGoddessOriginal"
July/2011
Property of "stuff ignoring won't hear
Apr 3, 2013
Apr 3, 2013 at 12:17 PM UTC
Its not hard to live without you, its what I've always done.
Its not difficult to not think of you, there's not many memories to think of.
its a breeze, to say the least.
Because its something I've always done.
I was born without you, fake smiles held me or hung? ...
I grew up without you, whether you lingered or not that's the way it was done.
I endured hostile intent, that should of never been provided the oppertunity.
Had you been there, like all religious intents scream for you to be.
Would it had been the way it was in the hands you let hold me.
I'm sure, since you wrre never there, it would have transpired to a more malicious state.
One leaves due to fear of what they'll do or what they don't want to see themselves doing.
Regardless of your absence, I care not for your excuses.
You, not painlessly, taught me how alone, lonely, and incidious someone can truly be.
Not only did you leave me, you thought it waa wise to pay, so I would stay away.
No attempts to want me, or see what I've become.
No motives to care haunt you, or would ever dare.
And it was my existence alone that twisted you.
Made you unloving due to your need to move on as thoigh I ne'r existed.
I survived, though your vast attempts at leasure.
I breathe even still, though not to your desire.
I've always lived without you, and always wondered why that must've been.
Now I only wish to never see you the way you worked so hard to have it spent.
Now I agree with your every motion to never be one moment.
I'm estatic there's no memories to haunt my every breathe.
There's not a single way I sway that would remind me of a time when...
I only wish I never saw you, so in the mirror time I spend.
I wouldn't see your eyes, lips, and nose or color of your skin.
I wouldn't know I have your hair or that my ears sit where yours did.
Id be able to see something beautiful instead of the state you left me in.
"AGoddessOriginal"
7/30/12
Mar 23, 2013
Mar 23, 2013 at 1:51 AM UTC
I'm not gonna give you
A list of what not to do's
I'm not gonna feed into
Making you feel don't do
Im not gonna give you
The tools to keep us tight
So you dont ever wonder
if maybe it wontebe alright
I'm gonna give you answers
Honest injan so that we might
Grow vividly together
And show ourselves we right
I'm gonna give you my right now
My every moment left in me
So when you do become absent from us
Theres a silent movie feed
I'm gonna give you lessons
On how to overcome
The things I haven't faced yet
Because together we're still young
I'm gonna gi e you silver
Streaks all in my hair
So you'll know I'm gonna stay
You'll see I'm not going no where
our very own lifetime of space
"AGoddessOriginal"
10-28-11
Apr 4, 2013
Apr 4, 2013 at 12:06 AM UTC
I'm picking up grey
Running away
We're leaving today
As far as we can walk
I'm picking up grey
We're walking away
We can't stay no more
It hasn't been the same
You don't want this
Niether do I
We keep on with
Every lie
I'm picking up grey
Moving away
Taking my stuff
Moving away
Leavings not enough
I'm picking up grey
Try ro replace
The hole in my chest
This bittwr emptyness
I'm picking up grey
I need it to stay
I'm keeping it safe
It's the only way
"AGoddessOriginal"
(B4 2009)
Mar 25, 2013
Mar 25, 2013 at 3:43 AM UTC
I wait stupidly
like an anxious child.
For nothing.
I wait as usual
For a person
Who deliberatly
Keeps me at a distance
Who only looks
For what I haven't done
Who scolds instead of loves
I wait
For nothing but a punishment
Ive allowed
To sprawl over me
And slobber themselves
on my pain
I wait
for one who doesn't
Love me or care to love me
How insane
To wish I had something more
To stupidly believe
I even deserve
Such graces.
I'll mever be
Nothing more then
the worthless unit
I am right now.
I'm a monster,
Meant only for use
My while life
Has perpetuated this to me
And every person
I've ever connected to
Has only taken from my soul
Only leaving pain
Its always the same.
"AGoddessOriginal"
8/3/12
Mar 23, 2013
Mar 23, 2013 at 1:31 AM UTC
Take my love home with you
If its all that you can do
Take my heart thats sad and blue
Because even still it'll be true
When your gone I'll be a slave
To every word I heard you gave
I'll take your love home with me
Forever together we will be
Take my love home with you
If that's all I ever do
Is give my love to all who ever knew
To take my love home with you
I see your smile upon her face
And your eyes on him they grace
Your laugh I hear each day in me
To have you back is what we'd need
Take my love home with you
If thats all we ever do
Is give our hearts to the ones
Who love us still when our days are done
"AGoddessOriginal"
10-28-11
Apr 4, 2013
Apr 4, 2013 at 12:20 AM UTC
Make no mistakes
my <3 will break
At even the thought
Of those words
I couldnt take
Not even a day
With that kind of hurt
Where did you think
It would all go
When you uttered
No
Didn't you know
That scar would show
always
What did you think
that I woukd just sink
And you could forget
Me and bury there
Oh my god how you dare
With so called care
Make no mistakes
My <3 will break
If even those words
Crossed your face
And I couldn't take
No more of you
'AGoddessOriginal'
2004
Mar 30, 2013
Mar 30, 2013 at 1:41 AM UTC
I grew this flower
Yet no one cares
I made it fed it
And loved it without fear
No one ever will see it appear
i grew this flower
With all i hold dear
Yet no one will tear it
To pieces and leave it
Right here
I grew this flower
For no one to hold near
For no one to smell
Or admire or see
I grew this flower
Just for me
So i could be lonely
And filled with fear
I grew this flower
So no one could see
all this pain
That this flower
Removes from me
I grew this flower
So i could be here
To share why i grew
This flower my dear.
"AGoddessOriginal"
Mar 23, 2013
Mar 23, 2013 at 12:55 AM UTC
I wanna be able to say
When they knock on the door someday
That "He just went away
Never to return again"
I didnt question
The new position I found
By the time I noticed
Time had been gone & come back around
And Me
Well I was doing
What He left me doing
When it all began
In the first place
Wow what a sad story
To hear
He ended up that way :/
"AGoddessOriginal"
2012
Mar 30, 2013
Mar 30, 2013 at 11:54 AM UTC
I'm sitting on the floor
wondering why I'm alone
Why did you leave me
I dial on the phone
This number that was yours
All I get
Is a **** dial tone
Saying this aint your number
I can't reach you here no more
how the hell
Could I been left alone
I'm sitting in this house
Quiet as a mouse
wondering
Where in the hell you can be
If I was the only one
That you loved
Why am I
So alone in the streets
every face that passes by
I stare right in the eye
Hoping its yours I'll see
But I know in my heart
Your buried in the dark
No matter what
Your dead to me
So I'm sitting on this floor
In this house
On this street
All alone
Not one piece of you
Do I see
When you passed away
You took everything
I ever thought
Could mean something
To me
"AGoddessOriginal"
Sometime 2010
Mar 30, 2013
Mar 30, 2013 at 12:03 PM UTC
Do you think you
Could hold my hand for
A littke while?
while i cry.
so i can breathe through
This moment
That I've realized
It just swept over me
All at once i see
How much i missed with you
Do you think you
Could hold my hand
While this night envelopes me
Surrounds me with truth
Theyve gone away
Would it be too
Much to need you
during these aweful darkened days
Cuz it is true
Its way too much
For me to do alone
So do you think you
Could take the time too
Hold my hand
While i face these darkened days
If you think you could
Hold my hand through
Till all these tears have fallen away
I would so do
The very same for you
Tho i pray
you'll never feel this way
"AGoddessOriginal"
2010
Mar 23, 2013
Mar 23, 2013 at 12:40 PM UTC
I wish the thought of you didnt make me feel this way
I wish the things that were changing made me feel closer instead of so much further away
I wish my eyes would seal shut and I could never again hear
I wish some of my moments weren't so vividly clear
I wish my best me wasn't wasted on someone who never cared
I wish my life would cease to exist
I wish I had what I've wanted for so long
I wish I wasn't so secluded or unsafe
I wish I wasn't in such a dark place
I wish I had someone to Love & Love me back
I wish the thought of you made me feel like that.
"AGoddessOriginal"
1-25-13
Mar 25, 2013
Mar 25, 2013 at 1:30 AM UTC