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Addy Stone Apr 2016
I awoke from the abapical dream I was stuck in day after day
no longer a colourless slaughter house that ***** itself like the alphabet.
In the aphotic corner is where I had lived but you summoned me
and like a bloodshot butterfly you fell from the cocoon that had trapped you for so long
finally free of what had held you back from breaking through before
you ran through the halls and out the door and kept running
running

Today is where I saw ***** stained children
that had dolls for mothers
dolls that spent each second of every day on every detail all to please what?
Their kids? Or that strange mans ****?
I saw mothers without fathers and fathers without mothers drowning their future children
our future intelligence
drowning them in a pile of ******* they called beautiful.
I saw the youngest of girls being ***** and beaten by the first love they ever had and will
beaten till bruises covered the pale skin that was once untouched and flawless
beaten with words that turned to red hands reaching around their necks
beaten by the eyes of strangers that would **** her more that he ever did.
And tonight is where my eyes were nailed open
because through the thin walls of my apartment I heard the carnal moans
and again every **** day till the 9th month because the **** child was born
cries all night and every following night because they won’t feed the thing
it is hungry for love
hungry for feeling
hungry for something to look at other than it’s ******* crib!
Last night is where I saw mental disorders that sunk their fingers through people's veins
schizophrenia, identity disorders, depression and anxiety
to them the world is nothing but hallucinations
death hovering over them when they wake
worms in their skin that only razors will get out
but they never knew the worms were veins.
This morning was where I walked to get coffee and witnessed 12 year olds running from a local market with ******* magazines and videos piled in their arms.
And today is where I saw girls starving themselves and spewing every drop that they consume
because the world around them screams in their ears that they are not perfect
they use techniques that are morbid but so common it’s sane
and under their bed is where the demon hides
a bucket of ***** that has sit there for days measuring tapes and diet pills
pictures of girls who are edited to perfection and the lies to their mothers who ask if they ate.
Yesterday is where the children live
crying blood and driving razors on their skin because they thought it was a good idea
because they wanted attention
because they wanted to see what it felt like to have someone care for them
because they hurt inside so bad they hide it in a box with knives and scissors and razors and safety pins.
Last night was where I saw christmas
spoiled children who get everything they asked for
new computers, new cars, new phones and money
money that goes to drugs and birth control that won’t work.
Yesterday I saw parents who worked from AM to AM again
just so they could put food on the table and pay their bills.
Then people who shot down their lovers with ice
and proceed to ask why?
why are they gone, why are they not here?

But today, today is where she saw the hospital for the first time without being admitted
today is where I screamed at the children who took everything for granted, at the parents who are blind to their children, at the world for replacing wrong with right.
And today is where I broke free and said everything I wanted to.
Inspired by Howl

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