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Evelyn Genao Mar 2018
"Please, daddy!"
You were walking so fast.
Too fast for my little feet to keep up.
Was it that easy for you to leave me?

You heard my tear-filled screams, but you never stopped.
You just kept going.
Farther and farther away, not even trying to get one last look at me.
I punched, pulled, and pushed trying to make you stop.
You didn’t.
You just kept going.
Leaving me behind.
"Please don’t leave me!"

I remember it too well.
The heart throbbing pain.
We watched as you left.
Me and mommy.
My eyes were wet.
Hers were dry, cold.
As if she knew this would happen.

I looked into mommy's eyes.
Her brown eyes tangled with lies.
Lying to me for you.
How long do I have to wait for you before you realize that what you did was a mistake? What was the reason you stayed away for so long?
Was it all the stupid crap you did in the past or is it because you don’t want me anymore?

Since you left, I dreamed of your return.
The day you would wrap me in your arms and whisper in my ear,
"I'm sorry for what I did. I promise I will never leave you again,
my little Cookie Monster
Then I wake up, hoping to see you.
Praying that it wasn’t all a dream.
But reality soon caught up, and the dream quickly died.

I remember all the tears I had rushing down my face
as I saw you leave me and mommy behind, to never return.
I'm so incomplete without you, I need my daddy back in my life.
You deceived me, you said you would always be there.
You pinky promised.
You broke your promise.
How can I trust you again?

Do you still think of me as your "cookie monster" or
a daughter you never loved, a daughter you could leave behind without a single goodbye in the blink of an eye? I wish you were here to watch me grow up but we both know that will never happen.

"I miss you so much! Won’t you please come back to me, daddy?
I just need to see your face one last time
Am I that disappointing I need to work to make you love me?

Hey, daddy even if you don’t love me I will always love you no matter what happens.
I bet you didn't even think about how I would feel when you left.
No, you only thought of yourself like you always do.

You missed all my birthdays, first dates, father-daughter dances,
and you may even miss my wedding, not that you even care.
Did you know that I would wait for the postman to bring the mail and check to see if there was a letter for me? But there never was.
I eventually stopped going, knowing nothing was there for me.  

"Well, daddy looks like you really didn't care about me buts it's in the past. Now I have a family who loves me, stays with me, and likes for who I am.
I don't need you anymore

Daddy, I still need you. Please, come back.
When I was 6, my dad was deported to the Dominican Republic. I remember visiting him in prison before he was booted out of the country. I was only a child then and I don't remember much but the pain is still there. I didn't ever write down my feelings until my English teacher assigned the class a project where we had to write a poem about a struggle that impacted our lives. It was not the best and as the years went by I would add more to it, pouring my heart and soul into it. I think the day presented my poem to the class was the day that I wanted to become a writer. I hope you love this and be sure to comment your thoughts on it. Also, check out my other poems!!
JayceeJellies Nov 2014
She comes over for the night,
She seems to be alright.
I'm not sure if I like her yet,
But that doesn't seem to matter,
She's just that close to my sister.

She started to stay over on school nights,
Something just wasn't right.
Soon enough she never left,
I began to feel like I was being replaced.

I'm not trying to sound selfish,
And no I'm not jealous.
But I am confused,
Why are you telling me this unfortunate news?

She hasn't left for weeks.
I'm sick of being the subject of greed.
I want my family back.
Just tell me that she'll eventually leave.

I'm now starting to feel neglected.
I've been replaced in every way I had imagined.
But you don't seem to see it that way.
I don't think the girl is leaving any time soon.
Heidi Shavill Jan 2013
Please don't let me go this time,
I need a hand to hold,
Away, away you
push,and push,
You win this hand,
I fold,

My weakness shows,
you feed off it,
I'm such an easy prey,
To you, I'd sacrifice my soul
if only you would stay.

Heidi Shavill
charley gwenn Mar 2015
i wonder, when you think about me
and all the things you think i was, and did
do you remember
that i was seventeen?
do you know that you traumatized me?
do you know that there is a year
that i don't remember
because of you?

i wonder, when you think about me
and visit all my old haunts
lurking, looking for a weakness
a nearly healed wound
to open back up again
i wonder, do you still see me
as the predator
and not the prey?

i wonder, when you think about me
do you remember
what really happened
or just what you told them?
have the lies transformed
changed shape, through sheer will
and become the truth?
what am i to you?

i wonder, when you think about
what happened in southern california
do you remember my words
my trembling body in your arms
the tears that never seemed to stop
the photos you cropped me out of
or just the things you'd decided
that i'd done?

a painting knocked off the wall
while i slept on the couch
that i couldn't have reached standing up
a statue that i did my best to fix
the ***** in the sink that nobody saw
the nine panic attacks that just had to be fake
do you even remember the truth?

i wonder, when you think about me
in the night, wherever you live now
do you still hurt, deep down
like a scar that never healed
do you carry regrets in your heart
or is there just the satisfaction
that nobody will ever know
what you really did to me?
Pagan Paul Nov 2018
The Moon doesn't love me anymore,
she may even have forgotten I exist.
Just a phantom roaming the Earth,
a mere trick of an eye in the mist.

© Pagan Paul (29/11/18)
Najla Aug 30
is the glowing flame,
and you melt
as it approaches

be careful
with that flame,
or it’ll burn you
when that love
starts to sting

They’ll decide to leave you,
and you’ll remain with nothing,
but the fading ashes of that love  

You’ll lose the passing-by warmth
that once visited your frigid heart

So light up a cigarette,
and put out the ongoing fire
inside your chest with smoke
Amoy Apr 2018
Five Years old, **** and shy.
I saw you letting go and I cried.

Mummy! Mummy!  Please don’t go.
Will you come back?  I don’t know.

Mummy! Mummy! Do you care?
Please, please stay. I want you near.

She looked me in my eyes and said,
“Don’t call me that.  Call me by my name.

It’s Marcia.  Give it a try”.
That’s the last day I saw her…

Until sixteen years later, one day in late July.
Andrew Kerklaan Jun 2017
Moving with the flow of the motion I can sense the disturbance as it ripples silently across my ceiling

Jaded and effortless

It leaves my sight seeing me farther then my eyes will permit me to.

Observing me

                ­        -Omnipotently-

Keen eyed. Faceless and brazen.
               It mocks me with open contempt

Daring me to lean out and touch it
Instantly ready to be ripped away

Gratified by my indignity.

Cackling haggishly,

I sense the word ***** cross your lips momentarily before biting your tongue.

I want to wretch but worry it would only deepen your delight...

You enjoy watching me squirm don't you?


Can you hear me now?
                        Calling out to you again...
Sometimes I don't think you can hear my voice. When I'm far away and lost I feel this the most.

...How deeply gratifying
Pagan Paul Sep 2018
To whom it may concern.
To anyone who remembers me.
I bet you thought I was dead,
hidden in this house of lunacy.

You had me brought here,
so this letter to you I pen.
This place is cold and sterile,
I can't wait to be free again.

Was it for my own safety?
Or was it to safeguard yours?
I cannot recall the problem now,
my mind is stuck on pause.

They fill me up with pills,
keep my head in narcotic haze.
I have a soft and secure room
to smile away the days.

It will be good to see your faces
when they finally let me home.
I wish one of you would write,
or call me on the telephone.

Why do you never come and visit
The Moontouched man so mad?
I'm sorry you saw my melt-down,
sorry it made You feel that bad?

I hope you will read this letter,
the pen and paper I had to borrow.
But the drugs are starting to work,
I'm so drowsy now...
          ... I'll finish this tomorrow...

© Pagan Paul (2017/18)
Janelle Tanguin Oct 2017
The last time I loved
I knew exactly
what I wanted,
I was so sure--
it had to be

It had to be
awkward laughs, soft music,
coffee brown eyes
a house full of dogs,
chamomile tea.
I just knew,
it had to be
you and me.

I am always running,
looking for fire exits,
secret passages,
ways to escape,
always wanting
to be somewhere else--
anywhere else

but with you
I stopped running--
started wanting
wooden floorboards,
walls and a person
I could finally call

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