I have walked through many lives,
some of them my own,
and I am not who I was,
though some principle of being
abides, from which I struggle
not to stray.
When I look behind,
as I am compelled to look
before I can gather strength
to proceed on my journey,
I see the milestones dwindling
toward the horizon
and the slow fires trailing
from the abandoned camp-sites,
over which scavenger angels
wheel on heavy wings.
Oh, I have made myself a tribe
out of my true affections,
and my tribe is scattered!
How shall the heart be reconciled
to its feast of losses?
In a rising wind
the manic dust of my friends,
those who fell along the way,
bitterly stings my face.
Yet I turn, I turn,
exulting somewhat,
with my will intact to go
wherever I need to go,
and every stone on the road
precious to me.
In my darkest night,
when the moon was covered
and I roamed through wreckage,
a nimbus-clouded voice
directed me:
“Live in the layers,
not on the litter.”
Though I lack the art
to decipher it,
no doubt the next chapter
in my book of transformations
is already written.
I am not done with my changes.

this girl,
she lives for details. for beautiful, extraordinary things.
she would never drink tea from a paper mug, no, that would feel so
wrong. the porcelain with tiny painted flowers does the half of it.
she always take the longer, but way more beautiful way home. driving her red little mini cooper with the window down, holding her hand out in the spring, soon summer air. closing her eyes for short seconds, feeling the air softly touching her eyelids.
she photographs everything. maybe because the small things in life makes her the happiest. and because she knows how easy it is to forget those small things.
she lies about her own feelings, for other peoples sake, and of course her own. because lying is a lot easier than telling the truth sometimes.
and she does not have the ability to hurt people, and that is maybe her strength, but also her biggest weakness. cause somewhere deep down she knows she hurts herself the most.
she loves as deep as the sea. she has so much love in her - she often explodes. she loves creatures so easily, it sometimes scares her. and almost always hurts her. because it seems a few really love her back.
she does not have the patience to wait, if she wants something, she will get it. she is
all in
or
all out.
she is very black and white.
but still so incredibly colorful.
maybe cause she has realized - choosing to love the thousands of small, ordinary, accessible things in life is actually the simplest way to her journey of happiness. and what a colorful journey it will be.
letting all those little details, create
art.

I hear the rhythmic clapping
And feel the pounding of feet on the ground
As dust swirls and dances around
While I sit facing the sun
In all her divine beauty.
Encased in the wood of the red gum tree,
I am at peace.
Burnum carves my totem outside
Surrounded by holy men,
Loved ones and ancestors.
This is my signifier and protection.
I am Miki the moon
Recently returned to my tribe
Heeding the call of the spirits.
My people mourn deeply
But know I will come again
To be at one with them,
First I must commune with the great creator
Rainbow spirit of the sky
For now is the time for dreaming.

.
Wrapping the sky
      around shoulders of grief,
prepared shuffles of aimless motion
in time,
     a hood of moons
transpire to illuminate,
          conveying the dissolution
of reason and rhyme,
as logic takes a bullet and bites the dust
resplendent in a cloak
     of transparent darkness swirling,
          a veil drops
like the final curtain,
with the august play about to commence,
     the actors, forward,
          taking a bow of silence,
to an absent audience who do not care,
the arrival at platform zero,
     of nowhere,
          travelling to nothing on a vacant train,
an instant express to the heart
     of the void,
carrying hallucinations
          in a purse
                    of stars,
Promise rides a chariot of blessing,
yielding a gift
     sugar coated in
          images and
                    words.


© Pagan Paul (11/04/18)