We're all alone here watching the stars twinkle into existence.
As minute by minute our hands gradually close the distance.
We're laying here on our sides, our bodies slowly going numb.
Our lips whispering sweet nothings, waiting on the sun to come.

Press your hands to my chest and feel my heart beat faster.
Then speak and heal my broken soul with words like plaster.
Let our hearts beat in sync as we watch morning arrive.
I close my eyes and won't forget this feeling, I finally feel alive.

"**** yourself, you're ugly"; it's just another day of high school.
"This place would be much better without you, so just disappear".
It's nothing but a playground where the popular kids rule.
So what do you say? Let's pack our bags and get out of here.

With my lips softly pressed against yours, ignoring your father
as your eyes lock on mine, glistening and speckled with blue
hinting at the possibilities of more than this place can offer
so let's just drive, and leave this small town in the rearview.

I don't really want to die, I don't think
I like chocolate too much
To never taste it on my lips again, to never again watch someone smile,
Never again to feel my vocal cords rub against each other as I sing-
I don't know if I could really do away with those things.
I almost can't stand the thought of you and sis crying alone together in black, after all the time I've spent holding you two up when dad died,
But then I remember.
If I'm dead, it isn't going to matter to me. I won't have to care about you.
I won't feel a thing.
Only the living have to regret the dead.
People always tell me that life is worth it, but is it really? A bubble in the middle of nowhere where people shoot each other and kiss each other, and despite how grand it feels, it never means anything.
I'm pointlessly running step after step on a timeline to nothing. My legs are burning, my lungs are crying, so why shouldn't I just stop?
And god, it is tempting.
You know the moment when someone's grandma's irreplaceable glass vase first hits the ground?
It leaves you wincing, almost as if every crack that splinters its surface is being carved across your skin,
as if every tinkling shard can make your teeth chatter?
That is what I feel inside, every day. There is no word for it other than broken. My soul is shattered.
Never feel that again, never have to chase all those thoughts.
All those thoughts, I wish I could forget them.
Apparently, I hate myself? And I'm cruel to myself? I'd always just thought that this is what it was to be human.
To control every aspect of yourself- how you speak, how you sneeze, how you smile-
To have an average grade make you feel like a failure, because you could have put more in, and you're a worthless procrastinator, how dare you take a few minutes to write a poem when you have the tasks of others to attend to?
I believe with every bit of myself that other people matter more than me, but you can't live like that.
It's not that I want to hurt you, mom, sis, it's that I'm finally going to do something for myself instead.
I've enjoyed it while it lasted, but I think I'm done. I need to tap out, cancel my subscription. There's nothing left I want from life that death doesn't promise louder.

And then I remember chocolate and change my mind.

Staring into her brown eyes, I find myself lost

You, I whisper, almost afraid
For this is the first time there is hope of her actually listening to these words
I reach out, my fingers hover right under her chin

You I tell her
are beautiful
And you will survive
No, not just survive
You will live

I love you

I catch a smile flash across her face
And though it does not stay, it is enough for now

I leave my reflection in the mirror and hug my words close to my heart as I walk on my way

I love you

I hug the words in between all my broken pieces as I walk away

Falling is easy,
Especially when infatuated.
Infatuation causes a false sense of trust.
So you allow yourself to fall,
Thinking that someone of interest
Would catch you.

But they expect you to catch them.

And sooner or later,
The weight of each other is too much.

They weren't actually ready to care for someone else,
You cared too much.

You were a means to an end to them.
Whether it be you were good for their ego,
Or you were an ****** just waiting to happen,
You didn't actually matter.

Don't worry.
I get it.
I've been there, too.

Falling is easy.

But flying is harder.

Flying is a choice.
It is making the conscious decision to let go,
To jump that cliff.
It's having enough control not to tense up
Every muscle in your body,
And brace for the inevitable impact.

Here's a secret, though:
The impact isn't inevitable.

Because when you fly, you're carrying your own weight.
And when you feel yourself faltering, you have someone who is flying with you,
Who will make sure you don't hit the ground,
And you'll do the same for them.

Because you care so much,
And even though you know the pain of losing them would be mostly temporary,
You also know it would permanently damage parts of you.

But, surprise, surprise!
They feel the same way.

You're more than hormones and pheromones and all kinds of other types of moans.
You make them a better person,
By being their best friend and so much more.

And trust me,
Flying is harder than falling.
You have to weather through storm after storm,
And cloudy days,
And lightning and thunder,
And lots of rain.

But you can do it,
For yourself.
For them.
For both of you, together.

Because, I guess the whole point is:

Falling is infatuation.

Flying is love.

And while falling is easy,
Flying is much better.