losing time as summer hangs into long summer days. i have just picked up my stuff and just walked away disappearing from blind anger.  my foot prints leave only a trail that goes dead cold. not feeling trap'd. but for how far away i was received a letter but the way it seems to hear is like a dear john e letter but this one has said that society has fallen apart with out me when i just walked away from things like fake people no truth just lyres that for the building s trucker like building that touch the tip of the sky.

i walked away following my heart from the letters i fear they all sound like the dramatic dear john letter. only leaving misery behind.my disappearance meant escape from things that are lies only pure aggression will territories the lives if i would have meant to be friends. and i  walked way so i wouldn't be suffocated by the drama  that just stabbed you.


life is society's lies they teach you to make you pretty little way you will tear apart

all night laying awake only knowing what life would be like to understand. my mind see;s lies but my heart doesn't know weather to cry or just run away so i won't have to face the people the next day. i lay next t my girlfriend. the road feels like the empty hollow feeling. no place to hear or want to speak. been clean  from self harming for 2 and a half months. every thing i wanted to say i rather just let my road pay out dissipating drooping off the face of the earth knowing ill bee leaving my love asleep in the nigh. nothing has any thing to make any scene to it. just lost in deep deep deep thoughts just trying to get by. only losing track just keep going to my self

So many emotions tonight
I just cannot keep
them in
They are bursting out
from this jar of stars
that I keep next to my bedside
and tonight I couldn't
close it tight
if I tried
yes they are erupting out
as the lid
flies to the skies
messy emotions everywhere,
all over the
bedcovers
spilling onto the carpet
over my fingers as I attempt
to catch them
now I see
that the stellar energy,
just busting
through the ceiling,
up through the roof
and over the stratosphere
is mine
it seems that
I am going for a night- ride
amongst those
brightly encoded particles
sensory endings a-glow
reaching out like starfish
infinite pieces of our being
as they meet the forces beyond
I am rushing through those
night clouds
fluidity floating
trying to understand it all
attempting to know why
How can I make it right
How can things get back on path
And then I realize
This is it…
The path
I am on it
the pieces
       will come back together
only after
they freely
unabashedly
shatter

you lie awake seeing nothing but the fan spin all around. the truth is real your life is a lie. if i take the pain away what will be my next role speaking the line you were told to survive. today is as what yesterday was. how long is the the path to run away. the feeling of being high brings me peace but what will it come to me. falling to the floor seeing the room spin with no grip to life up. every night i grow more open minded to what life would be life to have some one grab my be for i slip off the cliff into insanity. my reflection looks at me and says love isn't real when you are high. every night growing more skid dish not able to face reality. i am my own mid night stuck in a trans of endless mind lies. losing every thing you loved before will be your next score. i'm a mess when i just can't find my grip. i'm growing more  ****** up as time takes its toll on my life away from people who loved me.



theirs no place to hide or run away only inanity will play your life's roll. away till mid night locking your self away from from society till 48 hours have been passed starving the crave for you next score. i hear to force my self into reality. my grip is slipping looking down to the  huge rail road bridge plunging to my endless road where angels will erase every thing that made me the mess i have to realize life is free from night and day is the real reason why i only come out at night no i won't be seen.


being the mess my reflection keeps telling me i'm not crazy or insane but lost in a world where society scares the **** out of me taking the mess i have become

love is what reality will make your life open to ideas that will make you love finding some one who will always have a open heart to cry on

i have beat my addiction when i have fallen in love erasing my messed up self into a life that facing reality.


my night mar went away when a girl found me in the world.


i have the ease no more cold hearten twist or never awake.

just do it one more time

There is just a steep ledge that hangs threw the eyes of thrill seeking death. Deathes hand play's like knives cutting the pictures of every mistake you have made. Looking threw the blue eyes of the insanity of what you never wanted to see. She looks at me but deep down i'm never going to be set free of what I have done. Psychotically insane only the rain that falls that falls catches my skin leaving burn's. Only scares become clear when nights you just lay awake for nights watching the ceiling fan spin around. This earth you will suround the enemies you have made. I see no reason to make a sound. The cliff you jump in the water of regrets will take away the weight you suffocate in.

walking threw the night holding the love of your life hand. the cold grew seeing our breathes. feeling the thought that you'l never lose your mind. I write my name on the wall . falling into a haze feeling like the earth has told you to just let go. night will fall but every night i lay awake next to you watch over you.  i stay awake watching you as your guardian angel. we love and will never let go losing each other in a way of the mistake you will love.