I know it's only been a short time since the first moment I saw you but when I did, I knew
I have watched your mouth carve wisdom into trees, your beak burying its secrets into their wood
It is the most graceful destruction I have ever witnessed
There is music in your rhythm; you are a song I could play on repeat
No hummingbird can create what symphonies your unknown language does
If we spoke the same one I would tell you how much I want to love you
I do, like sand loves kisses from waves and how flowers grow every time the sun greets them
I didn't know how to tell you this
So I took the only opportunity I had available
I decided to risk it all for the chance to be yours
I have hopped from the highest branch on to your back and I am along for the ride, the ups and downs of romance, how it can take you to new heights once impossible to reach
You have given me wings I never thought I could have
While some have mistaken my attempts with bad intention, you are the only one who truly needs to understand
The only struggle here is the hoping that you will feel the same,
That you will see more than rodent in me
Maybe you could realize I am more than just digging holes and rascality
I would fly to the moon just to prove myself to you
Together we could be one for the books, crossing boundaries not yet written in history
I hope you don't take me as too forward
But I didn't want to risk not knowing if we could ever be
I took a leap of faith-
Thank you for catching me.

& as those dead petals
settled on my windowsill
I stood still
unmoved I knew
the inevitable to be true
to lose
was the only thing left to do
with *you

I'm having beer for breakfast
& you're nowhere around
freed a completed checklist
of my spine spiraling down
I'm queen
I'll eat you legless
your knuckles form my crown
through your deep breathing down
your knees become my necklace
and I'm pushing through your sounds  
it's the bed that's shaking now
but you feel it in the ground
your sweat has met the sheets
and through your bones
I feel you now
between our breaths
we're chest to chest
I fumble through your brown
with every strand tied in my hand
and both your lips against my mouth

I've watched the sky
light up the night
and every time
I've seen your eyes
in Orion
I've seen them in Hydra
and the minors
I've dreamt you were mine girl
when you smile
I can see it for miles
but our stars haven't aligned
or maybe I'm just blinded by the
lightning
or the light
from the moon
I can see it from my room
& I can see you in that too
and I'm in love with the universe
I'm so in love with the way it works
between the blue & all the latitudes
the way the wind blows through
is how I mean to move in you
but I'm not a bird
and you're not amused
if only I could prove my fuse
on my spaceship
to meet your atmosphere
but I'll just lay here
alone under these stars
& maybe if I don't blink
I'll find your heart

Take a look at me
&
Tell me what you see
Do you see my forceful smile
The smile that hides so many secrets
or
Do you see the tears in my eyes
The eyes that once took into much evil

Do you see my heart
The heart that holds hurt & shame inside
or
Do you see my skin
The skin that holds scars of pain

Do you hide my secrets
Do you see the evil
Do you feel my hurt, my shame
or
Do you see my scars

So take a look
&
Tell me what you see

Typical Teenagers
Happy, sad, sleepy, mean,
Feelings often change,
a common act of a typical teen,
I find it rather strange.
Talking to a friend,
or sending them a text,
they talk for hours on end, what'll they think of next.
They'll leave their room a mess
and give cleaning it a miss,
but yes I must confess to also doing this.
They think their folks are ancient, and utterly unfair,
the result is to ignore them,
before they start to swear.
Their music cracks the ceiling, and makes their parents fume, emotions always reeling,
and more time in their room.
Being a teen may seem pretty bad,
but from experience I can tell,
it's much worse for the mum and dad,
for them its living hell!

Behind your shadow,
I stand and fall.
It's a tough battle,
In which I feel so small.
My feelings toward you
you might think are dumb.
Sad, upset, confused,
angry, hurt, and numb.
When I needed a mom,
you were not there
to talk about boys
or to fix my hair.
Yes, you did call,
every once and a while,
but an ocean of tears
hides behind this smile.
Tormented, trapped, and torn,
my heart says I feel.
Seven years after I was born
my heart won't start to heal.
I see other girls
laugh with their moms,
I go dizzy with swirls,
and crash like a bomb.
The anger in me
rages in fright,
always staying angry,
I just think I might.
Time heals everything,
I don't think that's true,
I know something
time did not do.
Time has been flying.
For a long while
I've always been trying
to show a real smile.
One thing that hurts,
and I don't know why,
you moved far away,
and it makes me cry.
When I think about this,
to myself I lie,
I've gotten over you,
that I would not try.
You are a mother,
a mother of two,
me and my Sister.
We hardly know you.
Every night I think
of how my life could have been,
tears run down my face,
and my world starts to spin.
These past few years
have been really hard.
For the rest of my life
I'll be severely scarred.
It took me time to realize
what you did to me.
Tears in my eyes,
and you're clueless it seems.
I try to be brave,
it really hurts.
You could have stayed,
instead of making it worse.
I want you to know this,
it's sad but it's true,
you hurt your little girl,
and your other girl too!
You ruined me,
you made me cry,
you really hurt me,
and to laugh I try.
There is a hole in my heart
the doctors don't see.
I guess they don't know
what my mommy did to me.
If you want me back,
you have to prove
you can be a mom
to me and Brittanie, too!
When I screamed for you,
did you hear a sound?
I guess you didn't,
because you were never around.
I will tell you something
you cannot forget,
once you hurt your kids,
it will soon come to regret.

how dare I
compare you to the birds
the stars
the beach or even trees
& shame on me for blinking
when you are all I see

Love will come to you when it's ready,
Not necessarily when you are.

Trace the scars at her back.
You'll find a constellation.
Trace her tears when it streaks down her cheeks.
You'll find a lonely river.
Trace her hair strands.
You'll find an aromatic flowerbed.
Trace her fingertips.
You'll find hurricanes and tornadoes.
Trace her soul.
You'll find yourself.