Let yourself be happy, even if only for a while. If it is meant to be, it will find its way. At this point you just need to let yourself be.

Hey, at least you are only physically ill. You aren't suicidal or depressed; not as much, anyway. If it makes you happy then go ahead and give it a shot.

Take your time slowly and surely, my love
Your open arms may one day be my home
Allow me some time, too, to fit into your frame
I am not used to be told that I will be safe

Sink into me deeper and ever so gently, my love
We are a hundred stories wrapped into one
I have long let go of my childhood dreams
Yet your grasp made me believe in fairy tales once more

Pull me close and take me away, my love
Today you may be a part of one sonnet in my book
Take a day, a fortnight, or a moon’s time
And may you become the word to every story

To trace the lines of your smile
And feel your skin against mine
It may have only been a while
But everything about you feels right

Perhaps I had seen you somewhere
And The Universe has a plan
Of uniting us at the intersection
Between what is past and what is to come

So let me fall into your embrace
I will admit that this terrifies me
But gently hold me close, my love
And I promise I will never let go

The feeling that I have been longing to feel
The longing that I have been feeling all this time
The arms that were meant to hold me close
The face that I have been looking for in the crowded room

It has always been you
Now I can put a name
To the dream that you were
And what you turn out to be

I can't write a poem. This is weird and surprising at the same time. And I'm happy that the reason I can't write is not because I'm utterly miserable. I am, in fact, incredibly happy.

I really should have believed it when people kept on saying that miracles take time, that God doesn't always answer your prayers exactly the moment you say them. I thank God everyday that I did not **** myself. In my darkest, most emotionally turbulent times, I thought about it again and again. I would wake up and look out the window of my room and think, "Will the fall **** me instantly or will it paralyze me?" I thank God everyday for allowing me to live and giving me this life, perhaps not perfect but ultimately a good one.

Since 2016 is about to end, I would like to say some things that otherwise I would never have said in real life to you. After all, we are two people who know each other but would never be in each other's world.

I am grateful and thankful. I loved you, genuinely. It wasn't the best of times in my life but I am glad I loved you, even with all the unexpected twists and turns. I am thankful because now I know I could love someone just as he is. With or without all the floss and glitter, I had loved you, the boy in the blue shirt, the man in the worn-out T-shirt.

And now, I do not.