Whenever I am alone with you,
You make me feel like I am whole again,
Deskinned bare for my bear, only my truest self left to see,
And I can't bear to lose him in any circumstance.

He loves me for all the imperfections that make the perfect me,
Never flinching when tears are brimming my eyes,
His unwavering strength carries me through this perfect rain storm of sorts.

I know the Universe didn't conjure this up for naught,
So to the powers that be I plead, commiserate,
That the truth shall prevail and always reign.

Shalini Nayar
25.10.14
(c) 2014

All that glitters never meant much to me,
Petals fall & fade, withering along with time like its temporary immortality,
Money joining suit in its temporary fervour, but never buying love as the Beatles crooned.

So let me tell you what does:

The look on your face when I've made you happy with a surprise or two;
The sound of your laughter reverberating through the air as I cowl in my witty silly remarks;
The mental connection that pleasantly astounds me with every thought-stealing line and mirrored gestures-humour-reaction-action;
How your words has awaken the inner dormant writer/poet and inspired to put my venomous quill to paper again;
How you make me feel beautiful, appreciated and respected, just the way I am;
Your empathy and understanding that chase the dark clouds away and silence my demons;
The way we make love with the glances we exchange in public like there's no one around;
The way we make love with our bodies, explorative archaeologists tracing each other's landscapes gently-sweetly-devilishly;
How you claim my arm across, intertwining with yours, caressing it as if it's a part of you;
When your palm holds my face lovingly while we exchange sweet kisses, nibbles and all;
Blowing soft breaths onto our goosebumpy skins, whispering how much we love each other;
Cheekily stealing smooches at traffic light stops which never seem to be long enough;
Resting your head on my sturdy shoulder as I cushion mine into yours, christening it with my lips,
As we serenade that BSB song transporting me back to 14 again.

And the realization pierces me through like truth always does:

That I would not trade any moment, any era, any wish, any desire
Than the one right now with you that has headily grasped me so:
A dizzying cocktail of drugs that is you.

Shalini Nayar
31.10.14
(c) 2014

I am drifting black
With a rotten promise of suppressed sorrows
That each breath
Each heartbeat
Every footstep
Delivers me closer to a beast

The foul scent of eucalyptus hangs in the air
Welcoming me to this filthy place
Wind howling as I open the door
A sickening reminder...

As images echo, a monster lies in wait
Hiding under a cloak of normal
But, at the edge of that disguise there is a tiny thread
I tugged it

In the stale air, the disguise deteriorated
Demolishing the monsters power over the innocent
I saw the scars of lives destroyed littered across the face of a predator

And I told...

look up, look up
pretty bride
look how the seats are arranged
just like your marriage
promising a plethora
with three knots of the saffron string

look down, look down
blushing bride
look how your hands are laden
with orange mehndhi
matching your silk orange sari
with your sparkling diamond and gold jewels
blinding the third eye on your forehead
that blinks uncertainly

look around, look around
naïve bride
look how the sun rushes through the hall
waking up sleeping jasmines on your hair
fading away the wretched past
ending your stormy dormancy

look right, look right
****** bride
look how your husband-to-be is next to you
cupping his hands in yours
receiving the priests' blessed blessings
and sharing the confetti of thrown rice

and you close your eyes
tired bride
praying to live
happily ever after

Shalini Nayar
© 2001

she was like an inviting lotus
seducing into her roots
of sensuality and infinite pleasures

her love was of a collage
of blue and purple pigments
tainting its withered petals
enticing the skeptic

she was an Immortal
like a beautiful mystical goddess
inducing intrigue
inviting the uninvited

Shalini Nayar
© 2001

These words may not do justice,
But it's all I've always had,
Now they bear meanings only you and I know.
And I knew that when we ventured far and wide
Through the Roman fields and back,
Exchanging banter and doses of sarcasm,
That you were a special one.
I knew that wasn't the last time I was going to bask
In your radiant smile and that mischievious twinkle in your eye,
As the Universe conspired this connection
To unravel at the perfect time.

Shalini Nayar
(C) 2014 (13.10.14)

Where was I in this equation before?
Where were you?
What is it about that fear that sometimes paralyzes our thoughts,
Wanting everything but fearing losing everything,
Like the python's venom racing against time to end time?

Shalini Nayar
1.10.14
(C) 2014