The old geezer that served me in the local shop today looked very sad.
I said to him,

Alright, cockle? How's it hanging?

He barred me from the shop

Some people, honestly.

Ethel, my mum's best mate
just sent me a WhatsApp message;

I need some stuffing for my bird,
can you help?

***** *****

I blocked her

So, I was just thinking, which I often do, and I realised that if I didn't have a head, it would be quite hard to wear hats.

Jackie was a piglet
sitting in a tree
along came a spider
whose name was Zebedee
Bobby was a parrot
who often ate raw fish
Tarquin was a badger
who really took the ****
Bertie was a rabbit
who couldn't have a dump
Eric was a porcupine
who had the ******* ****
all the funny animals
laughed and drank and sung
'til ****** Sid the problem kid
shot them with a gun