Abused 
confused 
with 
WHO I AM 
Words
heard 
from 
words 
spoke
from 
words 
wrote 
My roots formed 
from a poem 
but 
which
type 
FrEeStYle?
I am to confused 
my reflection uncertain 
must we have labels 
hAiKu?
I ASK MYSELF ?
of course my voices 
have no response 
They only speak up 
when they benefit 
THEMSELVES 
My identity is in many 
because these words 
have many meanings 
Who i am ?
is up for debate 
until I know
I guess ill always remain
GeNre-CoNfUsEd 
NaRrAtIvE?
WHO KNOWS ?

What's been said has been heard, what's been done has been did. What's been us has been you! 
Blame me and I'll take blame,
Hell! I blame myself too.
We're still apart today,
tomorrow we will be too!
I'll still be okay, or so I say.
I'll still be in pain but that's always been the case.
I cannot Mentally accept the lost love is lost because in my mind it has or never was! I love with all I have and all I got, whether you accept that love or not, I willing cannot shut it off, You are, were, was and still are the one I do, did, want and will still love! Yes you are my dear, you are the one.

A blood pumping heart
beating very strong
Veins filled with blood
transporting life
I’m alive physically
but feel like a GHOST
A host to a false pulse
matterless matter
Lost within, lost outside
amongst all others, lost
Unnoticed but present
right in sight but not visible
My mind begins to wander
trapped thoughts irrelevant
My gut feeling is telling me
to run quickly, hide
They don’t deserve you
you don’t need them
GHOST, we all know
I’m here and now
How it has come to this
we may never know
Lost within life’s spectrums
hidden between the lights
My eyes tell it all
they are always visible
But who cares to stare
into a confused soul
But who dares to stare
at someone unknown
These eyes don’t lie
they have seen it all
But I fare this curse of hell
I remain victim to life’s spell
If only our natural feelings
weren’t to fear the unknown
GHOST

Im not a peasant
nor a present
just please
treat me with
RESPECT

Words heard that meant so much

Words felt that meant the most to you

Words expressed to others in love

Words used with compassion to help

If only these were the only types of words

Words used as tools to help heal wounds

Unfortunately my relationship with words

Hasn’t always been a caring one

I know the importance of words powers

Words of weapons used against myself

Words of violence hurting my feelings

Words of others shaping my insecurities

Words of the jealous breaking me down

Words from birth to a graduated man

Creating a monster inside my head

Words learned and used in the same way

Causing my adult relationships pain

Words I cannot take back nor return

Words I cannot speak of but wish I could

Words describing who I want to become

Versus the words that currently reflect me

Words read to learn about desired change

Words wrote to help grow through poetry

Words are the answers to our problems

Words are our demise if used wrongly

Words are what we make them to be

So don’t blame words when we are to blame

So use them wisely with good intentions

That’s when words can benefit us the most

To provide support, to heal and help

To build others up when they are feeling down

To relate and conquer others loneliness

To share and prove this world has hope

Words our everlasting remedy afforded to all

Words a gift we all have been given

Words a true blessing we all can create

Words might be the difference you can make

I'm the bad apple 
judge what you don't understand 
I'm that ******* guy

I swear if they exist 
the next one is mine 
car doors automatic 
OPEN 
****** expressions automatically 
DETECTED 
i , yes lower case
because ill always remain 
INSIGNIFICANT 
to THEIR NEEDS
literally ill bleed 
for them 
i just want someone 
to hold 
someone to show 
how it feels 
to be 
on top of 
THEIR WORLD 
please just grant me 
one woman 
that knows 
who i truly am 
and who i want to be 
and what that means
for them 
Im wholeheartedly 
CONVINCED 
my true love
MAY NEVER 
exist 
BUT IM STILL 
SEARCHING

There is a BIG test
Will you get a passing grade ?
He will let you know!

If i can stop myself from being the devil

Then
MaYbe

the devil can stop
himself too

HOPE

My point,  I give up on
MY life seems "pointless"
Hard work leads to
"PROMOTION"
Only work I do
is "Profit"
"Profit"see
Leading
My "Profitsee"
LOOK

........................GOD
                         O   E
                         N   A
                     N E E D
                     O
                     BUT
                     O
                     D          S
                     YOURSELF
                                   L
                                   FAITHLESS
                                   I
             THOUGHT S
                                  HOPELESS
                    ­                         O
                                              S
               ­                               TRAGEDY
                          ­                          L
                                     ­              O
                                                   N         J
                                                 BELIEVE
                                                       N     S
                                                               U
                                                       TRUST

Why God ?
Why him ?
Why her ?
Why them ?
and Grandpa
too ?

I’ll never
ever understand

Your plan
your reasons

Nor will
you, always
mine

But let’s
agree, that’s
what FAITH
is all about

The hands like daggers rotating in orbit, moving in time, creating measurement, from beginning to an end. All of this amidst a clear face, trapped within a black back, inked and pressed against a soft white, face to face I countdown as I get lost with time
DEADLINE

Love me, or leave me 
They all decided to leave 
So im used to it

I'm feelin froggy
dropped the bad habit
left it standing
dine and dash
I don't owe you nothing
I spent many years
That only led to many fears
And it appears, I've had enough , I can't stand it , I never planned it , but 32 years taken from me , IM tired of being disappointed... I WANNA BE PROUD OF WHO I AM, no more allowing sickness , change couldn't be quick enough , I had to learn patience , it can't come overnight but the flaws to numb the cause can be instant, madness Abra cadaver it's not magic R.I.P you becoming the best you could be , I cannot flee me, I rather be lonely and working on becoming somebody than rely on continuing to be a narcissist feeding off bad energy from a relationship , who am I, I cannot blame others for my past pain, I must change who I am before I can provide happiness for myself, useless cause, IMPOSSIBLE but I must end this madness and this poem on a positive note, WE ALL HAVE GREATNESS , WE MUST JUST FIND IT , ITS WITHIN OUR PURPOSE , NOT ALWAYS ON THE SURFACE , KEEP FINDING TO GROW AND BE A LEADER TO HELP FIND IT FOR OTHERS, BE STRONG FOR ONE ANOTHER ! that's what's weighing heavy on my heart .

The_ _ _ _ _ _ boy is _ _ _ _ _
That _ _ _ _ girl is too
The _ _ _ _ woman down the
street is dating Mr._ _ _ _ _
and Mrs._ _ _ _ _ hasn't a clue
What am I to do ? NOTHING! These blanks aren't mine to fill, these labels aren't mine to create, these rumors aren't mine to spread, these opinions should've never been: BROUGHT TO LIFE

It goes tic-tax-toe
Every second and move
They tax us for it

Insurance purchased for the what ifs, piece of mind, paying for comfort or so you thought 
UNFORTUNATELY 
It really was motivation for, 
someone to take your life 
from the greed of money 
IRONY 
The guilty is always synonymous with the beneficiary 
SCARY 

               YOURS TRULY,                             Your Life Insurance 
                            Policy

Wicked games 
normal names 
Are the ones 
that pull the strings 
Horror brings
wicked names 
abnormal games
Are the ones 
that pull the strings 
Nobody deserves 
nobody earns 
To be controlled 
at others hands 
Control brings
wicked things 
Abnormal games 
upon the ones 
Horror from 
the wicked ones 
That pull the strings 
to control normal ones 
To those that need 
to feel they succeed 
Pulling the strings 
that only wicked names 
Would attempt to In an
effort to control anyone
I have no place for you 
or your horror games 
Please leave me alone 
I will not be controlled:
BY ANYONE, NOT EVEN YOU 
THE WICKED ONE 
WITH YOUR NORMAL NAME
PLAYING YOUR HORROR GAME, PULLING STRINGS 
IM NOT YOUR PUPPET,
TO CONTROL

A world filled with nightmares
A heaven filled with dreams
If only not for gravity……..

A world filled with questions
A heaven filled with answers
If only not for gravity………

A home has a foundation
keeping it grounded
A teenager has parents
keeping them grounded
Both extra necessary
when weathering storms
and adult encounters
many storms a lifetime
No concrete
keeping them grounded
No parents
keeping them grounded
Mental Health
is extra necessary
When weathering storms
to stay healthy
Always be strong
and keep YOURSELF GROUNDED

Lose sight
of
HIM
HER
THEY
THEM
and
EVERYBODY-ELSE

Focus more
on
I
ME
YOU
YOURSELF
and
NOBODY-ELSE

LOVE ME OR HATE ME
I could careless how you feel
I LOVE MYSELF NOW

Crime commited
wrongfully convicted
Plead not guilty
but she didnt believe me
My defense insanity
it wasnt really me
She refused to hear it
and threw the book at me
Life sentence, my punishment
with no chance of parole
Mine as well have been
the death penalty
With that verdict
she literally killed me
Trapped within a cage
engulfed in total rage
My anger for my old self
forced the demons to escape
An appeal was formed
a new case was born
She no longer the judge
I no longer held a grudge
Acquitted on all accounts
uplifted from all the doubts
Through true loss of love
forced change was gained
Reflection of past situations
realization of mental triggers
Acceptance of all decisions
the good, bad and indifferent
Responsibility for self flaws
insecurities acquaintances
I didnt have to be perfect
no one expected me to be
From hostage to victim
from victim to broken
From broken to healed
for once I felt like me
FREE

Couch surfing
A gypsy soul
where he goes
nobody knows
no rhyme or reason
to where he shows
sometimes uphill
other times with the flow
as he rolls downhill
with the wind or against
the seasons don’t seem
to have any effect
I’ve asked him before
what leads him
through certain doors
he just laughs and always
replies back:
“I really don’t know”
possibly his heart
a broken compass
as he allows
his various emotions
to lead the way
Or maybe his mind
like a gps device
that never quite
determines the next
location until his gut
signals this feels okay
he never makes plans
ahead of time nor will he
make long term commitments
Unless here in the now
as in right now
this very second or minute
and please be careful
because one hesitation
or a blink of an eye
and you might be disappointed
or surprised .... ****!
HE’S GONE
without a trace , no goodbye
don’t take it personal
it’s just how he lives
his life, a true traveler
this one , he’s been all over
some think he’s on the run
but he’s no criminal
he’s never hurt a fly
since one day he’s never
quite been the same
since an old flame
led him to a heartbreak
and ever since
he’s just afraid
to stay put in the same place
but who really knows
well I do
the answer is
only he does
but never will he
or atleast not now
talk about
or tell the tall tale
of the Why ?
So it’s easy to just assume
he’s a gypsy soul
floating amidst
a world unknown
trying to figure life out
Trying to find himself
afraid of hurt
afraid of pain
a victim to
a really bad heartbreak
always a town ahead
of love to come
afraid to stop
or it might catch-up
and then what ?
he’s forced to face
another chance
at life’s fate
At others hands
No thanks
not him
he’s gone
anyways
****
destination
unknown

Love me or hate me
others have done both truly
I am who I am

Born to a ******
known to some but soon to all
Jesus Christ our lord

God's only son is
given up for forgiveness
of all of our sins


Father, son, holy-
ghost resseructed from dead
He will come again

Devil hard at work
Hell on earth finally here
Redeem your faith now

Only one to judge
Only one you must answer
Where will you call home?

Uneducated.
Dumb, unattractive also.
I still found someone!

Grass Needs cut
Head-Yard
Overgrown
Zero turn
Gas to burn
Pleasure earned
SUCCESS

Puff puff pass please now
now as in ungrateful free
puff puff pass pleasd NO

From not quite ripe
to heavily bruised
within little time

It’s not my fault
I’m unwanted
but rather my
shelf life

TIME

To the left
and to the right
both parties listen up
With out you
both cooperating
I couldn't accomplish much
So to think
we could run a country
without working together
SEEMS DUMB

Just because its louder doesn't mean its heard better

"Actions speak louder than words"

 

Words would've been heard but your violence forces me TO SHUTDOWN

Don't story
be angry

Or

Write the
fight out

and

"Don't worry
be happy"(Bobby McFerrin)

Happiness is a
temporarily feeling
Just remember that

Boring, bland
everything planned
where’s the excitement
suspense has been
kidnapped, gone
that’s no way
to spend a life
find comfort
in the unknown
the excitement of
an undetermined variable
some might think
that notion is crazy
to move forward
with undetermined motion
but to me, it makes sense
those same people
preach faith
to believe in something
you can’t see
to each their own
not every house is a home
not every home
is a place stuck
In concrete, forced to stay
in the same place
face the facts
face the music
If the tune of the beat
you can’t move with
then you probably
need a new bucket
to carry your feats in
feast in, happiness
knowing your living
for something
YOU BELIEVE IN
regardless the criticism
of others they don’t wear
your shoes or travel
your path
they aren’t stuck
with the aftermath
the tears, fears, years
or happiness
lust, love, pain and heartbreak
so who are they to
JUDGE

These arent just stories
these arent just words
These are emotions felt
these are feelings dealt
Love these words
and their meanings
or
Hate these words
and their meanings
ReGaRdLeSs
I lived them
I got served every
Verb
i got called
or
heard every
Adjective
and
noun, proper too: Noun
My mind
the ground
Every sick, twisted, sad, wreckless, romantic and depressing thought, idea, decision was a product from a childhood seed planted
Cultivated from
a healing mind
Some call it art, some call it poetry
regardless
your thoughts, opinions
to me
its
THERAPY

Audio from the heart 
Hate me 
Retaliate me 
leave me 
ALONE 
Im still growing 
my life flowing from 
the top of my tongue 
LOOSELY 
So listen to me
and hang onto every 
WORD

Life is just a game
so quit working to survive
you can play to win

Random puzzle pieces make up your morals as the values come tumbling down Jenga, your love life like a yo yo... up and down, back and forth, walk the dog, around the world until you're all strung out, communicating is like scrabble... words that mean the most are hard to find, your finances like sudoku... wherever it fits it fits, not always
... Welcome to the game of Life...

Habitat to bad habits, habitually harvesting bad moments, helplessly in need of heroics, hopefully soon as these heights in which I suffer up to are humiliating my humanity, hindering my happiness and ******* with my head! I'm only human and cannot help the hidden agendas of this heartless world!

Headstrong
head wrong
LIGHT SWITCH
ON
OFF
Today I’ll be
OKAY
or so I say
PAIN
driving me
INSANE
the voices are
starting in
AGAIN
WHEN?
will it completely
STOP
DROP
everything you’re
DOING
I NEED YOU
WHO ?
NO ONE
Says my
SUBCONSCIOUS
false I reply
I always can rely on
POETRY
to keep my
HEAD
in the game
ON
HEADSTRONG

Never guilty of
faking being paralyzed
never without pain

..................HoRRoR
         GONE
                 AGONY
          FEAR
                 TEARS
        TOMB
                 REALITY
         LOVE
                 AFFAIRS
         TOOK

HEARTBREAK HoRRoR
 GONE, her presence replaced with AGONY and FEAR, TEARS pouring out ever since, My heart remains hers in HEARTBREAK HoRRoR's TOMB, The REALITY is: She really loved me but her LOVE wasn't enough to conquer my neglected past AFFAIRS,
HEARTBREAK HoRRoR TOOK my LOVE

Inspired by Wilford Barker's poem titled:
"A Song Without A Voice"

Heartbreak creates waves              stronger than loves compassion forever felt the                                 ripples 

    Abroad new waters 
 an entire ocean 
         of recovered calm seas 

    Still they go noticed 
regardless the time passed 
                forever a reminder 

Heartbreak's waves 
          and the pain they cast 
forever leaving              ripples 

       Pain fades as we do too 
but yet the scars remain
      forever the           ripples will last 

      Forever the pain of 
               Heartbreak's waves 
forever a reminder

................................🖤
                                []
                                []
               W =====<>===== E
                                []
                                []
                 MORAL:S

Life isn't a journey
                 but rather a path 
Purpose isn't discovered 
                    but rather found 
Happiness isn't given
           but rather a decision 
       Love isn't granted 
but rather formed 
       Lead with your heart,
             decide with your mind 
         Let your morals
   be the compass
               and you will, 
                   NEVER BE LOST

Mirror, mirror in the ground shattered to pieces, please just tell me this......Will my family and I be okay, mum and dad are nowhere to be found and my little brother cries in pain. Please, just please tell me everything will be okay, our family and home is as broken as you but I still see my reflection.

Scary the contrary to the exposed soul hidden behind the beauty of a masked man

His real intentions he never
mentions nor will he ever admit to his hidden agendas

A jar of hearts he has collected from the many victims along the way to his unknown journey

It wasn’t until she came along and saw right through him that he had to answer for his actions

Literally it scared the hell out of him as the demons left screaming it’s all her fault

But it was to late the damage was done so he laid afraid of himself without her love

Much guilt from the past all built up he felt would forever last until he got  help

Releasing all the hearts from that jar, many years of collecting and now all gone

Free from him , from himself, from them but now she the one to solve it all IS GONE

His soul now cleansed but his heart he feels is caught in her love's jar and SHE’S GONE

FOREVER

A heart filled with hope is a heart filled with doubt, for one wouldnt need to seek more than the known, If one had a heart filled with faith

.................................words...........................­......
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