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RobbieG Dec 2021
I tried
really freaking hard
tongue tied
no reply
Looooong sighhhhh
brain fried
emotions discard
to the side
soul died
problems pryed
whyyyy God whyyyyy
I quit
throw the towel in
straight lit
burned wick
both sides
feelings hide
no room to sit down
heart lied
Im tired
fired up
sirens ruuuuun
I'm done
nine one one
collapsed lungs
life stung, brung
hung subconscious
abnoxious mindset
gifted talent
captive to flesh
I'm not who I am
befriend reflections
selections made
parts played
patterns stayed
when will I feel
okaaaay saaaaay
sooooon pleeeease
hellp deal, steal me
awaaaay, todaaaay
this isn't a game
regain trainwreck
breathing becoming
difficult, hurting
flirting with death
chest caved in
slaved to
past pain
insane within this
membrane...laaaaaame
saaaaame, aaaage old
situations, validations
never appearing promising
pinky swear mixed with glares cares go unnoticed
clouded with distortion
darkness stares
fares piling up
tolls avoided
polls divided
anger subsidized
privatized issues
tissues  by the box full
absorbing alcohol
leaving dryness from
lack of softness
this is a mess
where's bounty
quicker picker upper
pieces shattered
heart splattered
eyeliner upside down
war paint
this kind, this mind
of mine, not for the
faaaaaaaint, aaaaaint
you feeling better
from my ugly treasure
no map necessary
these valuables planted
at my feet, repeat, download
discrete ***** matter
scatter this out, doubt
trapped inside and out
leave this world
in a body bag
blood fills up
the well to hell
your asking to much
for your soul
reeeeetreeeeat, defeeeeeat
no compete clause
floss the debris
these traumatic non-diplomatic, sporadic, hypnotic, anti-value, shattered glass.....moral compass, failure to launch, trigger pulled grenade.....explode
ticking time bomb
threats, let's set this off
battles scatter, wars pour
from the door
knock hard
go away, today now, gone
not not double negative these words fumbling from a fragile brain, train the waves never to leave the bubble, keep them coming, stop running in the hall, tall mental strain, short fuse, trapped abuse, hung from the nooose...traveling by caboooooose looooose the
attituuuuude, duuuuuude
rude , quiet down, riot stuck
no luck , inside voice now, how laaaaaame, taaaaame
yourselfffffff, helllllllllp meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
screeeeeeeeeeeeeam
meeeeeeeeeeeeean
gleeee­eeeeeeeam
but don't shine
bright, light ignite
charcoals refuse
infuse substance abuse
now that's a flame
comfort warms
comfort warns
delay of reaction
two hour delay
recess school's out
I learned all the **** they didn't teach me THE HARD WAY
literally fade the black cascade , fake brovado
middle class movado
bravo , he go round and round, rodeo , big steer, lightyears ahead, bread, loafs of lacked love, feast on these carbs, toast, spread , peanut butter jelly time, slime , lime placed on the rim, keep em coming , I'm fuming at the ears , fears, peers not had, relatable a false illusion to bitter for babysitter to keep an eye on , funded friendship for future fam, **** this is alot of slots to fill up with cots of thoughts sleeping ....laid to rest, r.i.p this minute in 61 seconds it'll be over , can't stop the world from turning but can leave it for good, rocket juice, who's coming with , plastic tubes room temperature placed in a freezer box once but now removed , melting cheer to frowns just look in the mirror ! MAN DOWN
RobbieG Dec 2021
I'm undercover
​​​​​​spying on myself
Im in the trenches
Studying self

Relapse called
so I answered
or so relapse thinks
I'm pretending

Here now
at the bar
sober and ordering soda
Looking around

Focusing on
all the people
wondering why it is
So comforting

Really pathetic
as I watch
everyone drown their sorrows
With alcohol

Relapse suspicious
Knowing that I'm
not even buzzed yet
Sudden change

I order
another drink quickly
chugging my first one
Acting normal

This mission
is super successful
because I'm surrounded by
Deadly temptation

I remain
loyal to myself
realizing I want to
Forever change

We must
study ourselves thoroughly
in order to implement
Sustainable change

I want
to keep learning
earning my progress properly
Battling pain

Relapse lost
this familiar battle
my only hope is
To teach

​​​​​Documenting everything
I experiment with
to find real solutions
That work

Others suffer
just as bad
if not, even worse
Truthfully speaking

Strength required
to accept yourself
when you feel worthless
It's difficult

First step
among many more
many exercises I did
To help

I'll document
this whole journey
I'll post my battles
And victories

With honesty
the good, bad
and the ugly, all
To relate

Mental-Health
a curable cancer
but not by medicine
But rather

With love
with caring compassion
with acceptance and understanding
With reflection

With battling
with self-studying
with desired change wanted
And motivation

With __
still to be
determined and self-discovered
To be..........
RobbieG Dec 2021
Ninety percent of
what we strive to provide is
NOT NECESSITY
RobbieG Dec 2021
1 joint
2 shots
3 beers

A
Bad
Combination

1 driver
2 drunks
3 killed

A
Bad
Crash

1 life-sentence
2 different charges
3 families affected

A
Bad
Choice
RobbieG Dec 2021
.............11  12   01
         10                02
      09         ?            03
        08                   04
            07   06   05

Go ahead and plan out every minute of your day, I don't recommend it because : UNLIKE YOU, plans do change!
RobbieG Dec 2021
🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊
🌊🌊🌊An ocean of🌊🌊🌊
🌊🌊CONTRADICTION 🌊🌊
🌊🌊amidst a mind🌊🌊🐠
🌊🌊🌊the size of a🌊🌊🌊
🌊🌊🌊FISH BOWL🌊🌊🌊
🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊
RobbieG Dec 2021
Well back in the day....
we were mandated to wear 
diapers on our heads
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