Am I on repeat?
Offending the offenders?
Racing to wait
Or waiting to race?
Did I see another redo?
Perhaps a pitiful protest
Was it a cry for confidence?
Or a confident cry?

No help for the helpers
And dreams for dreaming
Hopeless haunting
Keep on screaming
Finding out nothing
You did not read
As you lay in bed
Of your own making

The muse came around
Tapping that shoulder again
Sparking the senses and mending the soul
Destroying thought and repairing the mind
Making life bearable again
Teasing the nose, begging to be remembered
The muse abuses
Giving frowns and sadness
My muse is deep like the ocean
It is stormy, yet calm
A contradiction of life
Old soul in a young mind
Fervent spirit in a tired love
My muse holds the eyes
Eyes of wisdom
    Eyes of love
    Eyes of passion, energy, and life.

stealing my Hope
smashing goodness
turning stomachs

I yearn for pleasure
Yet Only taste Bitterness
just that Sour aftertaste

there is a Funk
left to Spoil
and Rot

then my Fortress is drawn
around an aching Heart
with many walls

walls that turn
to Mazes, Cages and Safes
Storehouses of unwanted feelings

I am tormented
within my Fortress
it frightens me

will the walls be broken down?
they must
but...it won’t happen?

My Heart
is not hardened
because of these walls

it’s Only shattered
to where
there is no substance

My Spirit is depleted
and frustration is my quencher
Ha! What does it matter?

I remain
And I linger
And I still
Hope

I visited my hallway today
Anger was boiling inside
I slammed open the door
And yelled for all
“Get the **** out”
They scrambled left and right
Some disappeared
In the back
Misting away
One tried to beg
To stay inside
Another was cocky
Thought he would stay
But I screamed again
For all to leave
So I could finally have peace
From the yahoos
In my head

This pain
Is good
Helps you remember
That you are alive
Driving out the numb
Or those times
You feel you deserve
That pain
It is the only emotion
That is possible

In physicality
Simple sensation
Powerful
Make me feel
Overwhelm me
Until I am numb
Zoned into exhaustion
Turn off my mind
No complications
Unmake me
Whole again