for this moment
this precious amount of time that we allow ourselves
let us reminisce and reconnect
forget about the years we've spent apart

that was yesterday
and will be again tomorrow
days, months, years after that
the same old routine

but for now
we're here
present
cheers

the machines
they hold the threads
that pull my puppet strings
make me smoke my cigarettes
and watch me as i waste
and all the time i do survive
i'm dying as i sing
remembering the lies you've fed
i've put them aside to live

kaleidoscopic patterns do nothing for me
you see complex patterns of color
a marvel to stare at from every corner
i see anxiety

i see its time to leave

Mind adrift, thoughts untwine,
Sanity fades
I lose my mind

or do I

What is lost can be found
but finding madness is never a simple task

wretch

I've absolved myself

Saint

is that how its works?
its that easy

ask for forgiveness and all is forgiven
is it not?

Saint
All is forgiven

and forth i walk
and carry thy
one path one track one footprint

Jesus is no where to be found
it is me
it is I that carry's thy

will you look ahead and move forward
or stand still and watch it all just pass you by
your greatest fear
is what your future may hold for you
but don't you worry
in time everything falls into place
so hold your head up high
you're late but you made it anyways

i've known but a really long time
and i've accepted it
weather or not i can say it aloud
i've accepted it

i smile at the years
i smile at the memories
its not nothing
its not everything either

the future sometimes feels bleak
running through the paces
home is all i have
hope is all i grasp for

the crowd parts to make way
the king waves and smiles
idiots

224am
father of 2
I've questioned my motives
but I've not yet answered them

I've looked around
oh have I looked around
At the other father who give a ****
I'm not special

yet I feel as though the other father miss out
too strict, by the book
whose book
WHOS BOOK

**** THE BOOK

my kids are happy
id like to think
the book is burnt
LONG LIVE THE KING

i wish i could have enjoyed the best day of my life
we drove a million miles to find
the smiles that kept us safe and sound
weren't where we left them

the further we drive together
the more i feel i'm driving away from you
the new devils revel in the anxiety forming
they know what's coming

and as much as id hate to admit it
so do i

i couldn't find my phone today
i could have made its whereabouts known with a simple ring
but i left the house anyways
i've unintentionally disconnected

what a great day

what is my truth?
i have no true colors
i'm a shapeshifter
i'm everyone

i'm standing right beside you
smiling
i mean it
but i don't really

i'm anyone i need to be

i don't know who pushed me in
i don't know where to begin
i've been silent till this day
and there's so much i have to say

but its time to fade away

why must you focus on my weakness
the smallest part of me
this is why i stay away from ones like you
who see depression in innocence's
and always question when things don't go their way

just smile and fake it

we watched another sunrise from the shoreline
with whispers

open up to become one of the few
lessening the effect of adding your own point of view
were really all alike
just different chords in different songs
lets just sit like satellites
and watch the world just pass us by

Lost, I wander, paths unknown,
Seeking solace, yet feeling alone.
Uncertain
For in being lost, I'll discover myself

Let it be known
I am nothing if not persistent
a parasite affixed
i will not fail

but i will fail
and leave behind a trail of destruction
that only the world will fear
i have not yet taken the time to reminded myself that this is the way i function.

a liar in sheep's clothing

this house is on fire
the telephone ignored, still rings
but the silence
this wildness
i close my eyes
take the life once built
a nexus
we'll explain
ill keep up the faced
for them
for them

for them.

for you ill exist in your thoughts and nowhere else
until you learn that when you soar and fly
you crash and burn and loose your smile

i turned my forever beauty queen
into a girl of cold and morbid sunsets
i wish i could be as you were
in your only time to shine
congratulations
you grown to becomes my greatest regret
and since you always considered yourself my burden
i'm not surprised you turned your back
and while you tune me out of your life
moving on will seem to be the hardest part
just realize you once considered me your hope
when you felt your path go dark

these writings are nothing more
than the polite ramblings of an educated mad man
one not to be listened to

picture yourself all alone
would you have the strength to ask for my help?
where's your life heading?
no one knows if you'll make it there
or ever make it back
look around
this isn't at all
where you wanted to be

i stood and waved
as i watched you fly
the stars collide
and stardust becomes glitter
you shine
and breathless
we all take a step back

these silhouettes and cardboard cut outs
walk the path that leads into my mind
but whos to say
they are welcomed to stay

this is not a pome
this is not some randomness
this is not meant to be seen
but i have to put it somewhere

public private
its all the same to me
this is not meant to be seen
but i want to put it somewhere

i've been scribbling more and more
a **** that's overflowed
this is not meant to be seen
but i need to put it somewhere

the stars, each an idea
a lesson to be learned
this is not meant to be seen
but at least i put it somewhere

hello poetry

i fall asleep every night in my chair
go upstairs
another puff
ill rest here awhile

Loss cuts deep, shadows descend,
Tears fall, hearts ache, wounds never mend.
Yet love remains, a flicker of grace,
Guiding us through life's relentless chase.

Save me
I have not yet found the way
but the way is set in permanence
Help me on my way

you kissed me like you meant it
did you mean to shatter my life too?

its hopeless
i've had enough
the masses have passed me by and knocked me out
left alone, is there any way to heal this smile
lost the facts
the meanings
suggestions
front and back between the lines i've read
that i am and that i am nothing
with no hands to hold
and no place to lay my head

shadows whispers
truth dies
dream a lie long enough
quickly becomes reality
deceit twist through the night
born from absence of the light

in a garden of anguish,
madness takes hold
dream a lie long enough
dark undertones

until yesterday i though i was alone
until i saw you smile directed straight at me
hard to believe i never let it sink below
and our eyes met and all was well
and the world stopped to look behind itself
to realize our instant glow

what can be said about a girl
that makes the whole world disappear
and all that's left is all that's needed to rebuild
well build our home and shape the stones
and make it perfectly livable
all i need is your hand to set me free

ive made so many plans
made so many goals
so many good intentions
many mornings ready to go

so many false stars
so many excuses
so many maybe tomorrows
so many lies to myself

the easy way, the hard way
the right. the wrong
the path of least resistance
are you in or are you out

there are always two roads

so this is hate
this is what i've become because of you
provocative entertainment
feeds the mouths that never close
enters minds
severs connections
decisions made based on lies fed
spewing out younger ******
enough to feed all your intentions

it stops for a minute
i can see again
i can breath
let me breath
shallow breaths
sixty seconds a day
im counting
shallow breaths
sixty seconds
...
......
.........
............
...............
.......­.......
.

and now back to our regularly scheduled program

Have you ever looked upon your hand
in the midst of midnights gloom
the marks upon do tell the tale
of a life once lived and bloomed

Bloomed, the wrinkles do shatter the fantasy
they tell the tale of rot
the midnight sun does shines upon
the many lies of those your brought

Mind unraveled, thoughts astray,
Losing myself in disarray.
In chaos, sparks of brilliance
ignite
Madness unveils creative light.

wake me when my time has come
i cannot breath anymore
to take my place
among the rest of the thorns

wake me when my time has come
i cannot bare this anymore
this life i've been dealt holds more pain
than has ever before

i try but you fade away
my brother my sister
all forgotten to my now
you are all somewhere in my thoughts
deep down inside my heart
soon you will all disappear
but still here
to love you

in motion, ideas always look good at first hand
in practice, decisions made are all written in sand

been standing by myself for so long
i cannot take it
and all my deepest dreams are all gone
forever and ever

its 1am and i'm at home
the doors are closed and i'm just sitting
playing cards with god, he's winning
the world comes undone

in my dreams
i'm walking this abandoned railway
deep between towns
not a man made sound to be heard

listen

the wild is just as wild as the wilderness provides
out here, beauty and horror
balanced
this railway my only guidance

i step away
leave the railway behind
join the wild
how romantic it seems

i wouldn't last a week

ill wake up now
and wonder what would be
coffee
i'm late for work

how romantic

intelligence visits those
with the patience to lend their ears

become numb
it tingles just before i loose all feeling
embrace
enjoy

remember the past
live it, revel in it
glorify those memories
embellish, just a little

it'll never get any better

since when is it original
to wear the hatepaste on your face
delusions of a life full of waste

align the stars for me
and let their shining light guide me to where i need to be
then sedate me to ease the pain
that standing next to you always brings

In this city
shattered dreams
we walk alone
a place to call our own
words echo
As we navigate life

Oh, your melodies inspire
a sanctuary in the night
the echoes of our our guiding light
Oh, your melodies frighten
a sanctuary in the night
the echoes of our our guiding light

Through the wreckage of our broken dreams, we rise
Finding strength in the depths of our own demise
confront the darkness within
Waving tales of struggle
redemption, and sin

Through the highs and lows, we navigate this life
we find solace in the strife
resonate with the battles we face
discover our own sacred space

on the phone you speak
alone
listening to the constant moan on the dial tone
the only comfort you'll ever find
is from a sound that has no mind

even lottery winnings run out sooner or later

we are intelligent creatures
try and fail and try again
try and fail to fail again
fail and fail and fail again
again and again and again
eternal in our pursuit we try and try
and try till we succeed
we are intelligent creatures